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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Comment by lady in Charity Shop

56 replies

Sportslady44 · 22/01/2022 14:03

This was going back some time before mumsnet AIBU etc but its always stayed on my mind.

I bought some trousers from a charity shop once, they were quite nice i suppose and looked new.

Anyway when i took them to the till to pay the lady behind the till obvs liked them too and said nobody will ever know. She meant nobody will know you have bought them from a charity shop.

Was that a strange comment? So what if people did know?

OP posts:
Tsuni · 22/01/2022 15:00

You need to forget about it and move on with your life. Why do you think this comment has affected you so much? It’s not healthy to ruminate on something so insignificant for 20 years.

TroysMammy · 22/01/2022 15:01

But they are not really charity shops in handing out charity to those in need. They are shops that rely on donations to sell to make money for the charity. They are really resale or second hand shops and ones that sell pre used/second hand items as a business are vintage shops.

Chickorma · 22/01/2022 15:03

Forget it. I'm a charity shop shopper and I'm proud about it!

I show off my purchases telling people about my fab bargains. Always have, always will.

Plus you're helping the charity and the environment.

Definitely nothing to be snobby about, or worry about.

P.S. I suffer from anxiety and worry about little things too from a long time. But sometimes you've got to give your head a shake and move on. (And yes I appreciate that's easier said than done)

MichelleScarn · 22/01/2022 15:04

@VainAbigail

This was going back some time before mumsnet AIBU

Before Mumsnet? Which has got to be more than 16 years old surely?

YABU.

My thoughts too! You've held on to that comment all this time?
shedevill · 22/01/2022 15:07

Just friendly chitchat and often true, since I buy pretty much all my clothes and bric and brac bits from charity shops, love them!

PinkSyCo · 22/01/2022 15:09

Blimey OP she meant that nobody would know that they weren’t brand new, telling you you’d got a nice bargain. She’d probably be mortified to know you were still worrying about her bit of chit chat all these years later. Let it go.

getsanta · 22/01/2022 15:09

She meant no one would think you didn't buy them new and was complimenting the state they were in. Why on earth would that bother anyone?

Wineisoverrated · 22/01/2022 15:17

I imagine it was less of a nobody will ever know they’re from the charity shop and more of a these are a bargain no one would ever know they weren’t first hand!

crazyjinglist · 22/01/2022 15:24

I think it's an odd comment to stay on your mind! It's pretty normal for people to like to buy new things, or at least for them not to look used when they buy them. Nothing strange about that at all imo.

Flutterflybutterby · 22/01/2022 15:27

It wasn't a weird comment

Wiredforsound · 22/01/2022 15:31

Nobody will ever know they weren’t brand new. Not that it matters. Buying from charity shops is better for the environment, better for your pocket, and better for charity. It’s a win-win-win and people should be proud of it, not trying to hide it…provided you apply the same rules of shopping that you would anywhere else - only buy it if you like it and you’ll definitely use it!

Toanewstart22 · 22/01/2022 15:32

Not a full Saturday for you then OP!

UserBot999 · 22/01/2022 15:36

Some people think that but i dont so i wouldnt dwell on it!
My family considered clothes like some people consider fake tan though so ... i wasnt raised to believe that my threadbare clothes passed down through the cousins meant anything about me.

Drove me crazy between ages 10-14 though. I bought a few things myself from that age and felt normal. I could have found clothes i liked in a charity shop though

cafedesreves · 22/01/2022 15:37

Genuinely can't see why this would worry you. Great they were in such good condition they looked new!

100problems · 22/01/2022 15:52

Isn't that literally what everyone that scores a really nice item in a Charity shop thinks to themselves and says to their friends?

Tal45 · 22/01/2022 16:00

Surely she just meant no one would ever expect you'd find something so new and so nice to have been given away to a charity shop? I really don't think she meant it was embarrassing to have got them there - she probably would have picked a few things up herself while working there.

HopeYourHighHorseBucks · 22/01/2022 16:07

It's just something people say when talking about second hand goods. I once upholstered an old battered leather sofa and most of the comments from people were that they never would have noticed etc. Not sure why it had stayed In your mind unless it's played on an insecurity? (That probably sounds like a dig but it's not intended that way) just that some people don't like shopping second hand.

user1493494961 · 22/01/2022 16:09

I'd let it go, move on.

AChickenCalledDaal · 22/01/2022 16:14

My mum didn't like the idea of second hand clothes and hated that I bought things in charity shops.

Her sister has a rather grand friend who is Italian nobility. We were all on the same table at my cousin's wedding. Mum was tickled pink to be sitting with the grand lady and Mum admired her lovely wedding outfit.

You can probably guess where this is going ...

I can't tell you how much I enjoyed Mum's face when la donna Francesca confirmed that the rather gorgeous outfit came from Oxfam!

Opalfeet · 22/01/2022 16:16

@Sportslady44 gosh I can't believe this has stayed on your mind for so long. She probs meant no one would ever know because they looked new etc. I don't think she is saying anything snobby about charity shopping.

GirlOfTudor · 22/01/2022 16:24

It's just small talk from a charity shop employee/volunteer. Why are you still concerned about this so many years later? You probably don't even own the trousers now 😂

Goldbar · 22/01/2022 16:29

I would take that as meaning that she thought that you'd got a bargain. A bit like buying something from an expensive brand for much less in a discount shop.

Lookforwardtosummer · 22/01/2022 16:31

Op, I mean this in a kind way but why are you totally overthinking a random comment from years ago? I very much doubt that the lady meant to cause offence. It seems bizarre to focus on this and to allow it to bother you after this time.

Siepie · 22/01/2022 16:34

If she volunteered in a charity shop, she obviously didn't think there was anything wrong with shopping in them. She was complimenting your new trousers!

WonderfulYou · 22/01/2022 16:34

You must have looked embarrassed to shop there so she wanted to reassure you.