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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbour Parking

37 replies

MumWithYOPD · 22/01/2022 10:30

We don’t have a bad relationship with our neighbour we just both get on with our lives, say good morning, very rarely chat. His wife was a different matter, we got on very well with her. We always just took it that she was chatty and he wasn’t.
Tragically she died in the summer (aged 50) and since he’s been widowed he will overhang our drive considerably and regularly. Now when it started my DH wanted to speak to him about it but I stopped him and said how horrible would we be to knock the door to say move your car when he’s literally just lost his wife. But it’s still happening more than six months on and I feel we’ve shot ourselves in the foot by not saying anything before. The picture is what we woke to today. We don’t need to go out but surely that’s not the point.
Any suggestions how to broach this welcome as six months is still no time at all but tbh he’s taking the piss as sometimes there’s a big enough space across the street but he’ll park in too small a space outside his door crossing the driveway.

OP posts:

NerrSnerr · 22/01/2022 10:33

What has happened previously when he's done it and you've needed to go out?

MaizeAmaze · 22/01/2022 10:34

If you cant get a car out, you need to go knock on the door, and take the car for a run around the block.
Every time he blocks you in, whether you need to go out or not.

Hoppinggreen · 22/01/2022 10:36

I might be very callous but I don’t get the connection between his wife dying and him parking badly
It’s nice that you are sensitive to his loss but him being a widower now is no excuse to block you in and unless you are going to mention mention his wife when you tell him to stop parking like that I don’t see why you can’t

Original poster

MumWithYOPD · 22/01/2022 10:36

@NerrSnerr

What has happened previously when he's done it and you've needed to go out?

@NerrSnerr There’s only been one car on the drive or both going out separately so we’ve got room to get off

OP posts:

Soontobeoutnumbered3 · 22/01/2022 10:52

Is he parking over a dropped kerb?

Totalwasteofpaper · 22/01/2022 10:54

I would just knock say hi ask how he is and say could he move his car and is overhanging and you need to pop out.

Do not move your other car and do this every time.

SniffMyFeet · 22/01/2022 10:55

Go and speak to him, if he gets the hump that's on him but he may not have registered that he's done it
Don't just sit and stew over it though, it would irritate me tbh

LethargicActress · 22/01/2022 10:59

Why has he felt the need to do it since his wife died but didn’t need to before? It weird.

I agree with politely going to ask him to move it every single time he does it, and if that doesn’t work, contact your local traffic enforcement.

2pinkginsplease · 22/01/2022 11:00

Go and speak to him and say that he needs to park further forward as he is blocking you from getting out. I’ve had to do it numerous times with my neighbour. He listens for a while then edges forward and forward which would be ok if it was a car but it’s a bloody big van!

Last time I got him out his bed at 10pm and asked him to move it as I was going out, he wasn’t impressed but he’s not done it since.

ANameChangeAgain · 22/01/2022 11:03

It depends on whether you have a dropped kerb access crossing that he is parking across?

Original poster

MumWithYOPD · 22/01/2022 11:05

@LethargicActress

Why has he felt the need to do it since his wife died but didn’t need to before? It weird.

I agree with politely going to ask him to move it every single time he does it, and if that doesn’t work, contact your local traffic enforcement.

@LethargicActress it was her car, he hardly drove. But you’re right it is weird, but I can’t remember it ever happening when she was alive.

OP posts:

VitalsStable · 22/01/2022 11:06

Maybe he wants you to go round to talk to him 😞

Gildededge · 22/01/2022 11:08

You just need to go and say something despite it being awkward. My neighbour had kept having guests block my drive when her husband was dying. It was awful but I had to keep knocking and asking the car to be moved. Someone dying doesn’t prevent me from having to go to work unfortunately. I didn’t ask if I wasn’t going anywhere and tried to be a supportive neighbour in other ways but you can’t help having to use your own drive!

TheBlahWitchProject · 22/01/2022 11:10

Sorry, off subject…your parking diagram surpasses the usual sketch, I’m impressed !

Pbbananabagel · 22/01/2022 11:21

This is how my neighbour parks but the key fact is that we have a shared drive with our other neighbour so the kerb is only partially dropped across the front of our house. Nothing we can do as technically they’re within their rights to park there.

PlantsAndSpaniels · 22/01/2022 11:24

We get this on our drive and it's a nightmare. I want to kick off but other half doesn't want to cause problems with neighbours (almost never the ones either side which is better). Currently looking at widening our drop kirb. Maybe drop him a note if you don't feel like confronting him?

Seeline · 22/01/2022 11:26

Have you got a dropped kerb across that part of your drive? If not, technically he is doing nothing wrong.

NotNee · 22/01/2022 11:30

@TheBlahWitchProject

Sorry, off subject…your parking diagram surpasses the usual sketch, I’m impressed !

Agree!

Foolsrule · 22/01/2022 11:41

@PlantsAndSpaniels - so the kerb isn’t dropped already? If not, you can’t do much. Wouldn’t be much point in kicking off

Original poster

MumWithYOPD · 22/01/2022 11:43

@Seeline @ANameChangeAgain
Yes we have a dropped kerb.

OP posts:

PlantsAndSpaniels · 22/01/2022 11:51

[quote Foolsrule]@PlantsAndSpaniels - so the kerb isn’t dropped already? If not, you can’t do much. Wouldn’t be much point in kicking off [/quote]
@foolsrule We already have a dropped kirb. Just looking to widen it so if anyone overhangs either side there is still room to get a vehicle out..

underneaththeash · 22/01/2022 11:55

Just ignore the fact that you haven't mentioned it previously. Either knock on the door or leave a not to say that you've noticed that he's parked over your drive and could he please not do that as you can't get the car out.

godmum56 · 22/01/2022 12:50

just pop round and ask him to move the car. Rinse and repeat. I would suggest he may not even be aware he's doing it. A couple of years ago, my neighbour whose house actually faces mine in a square U shape with our garages in between, had ongoing building work in front of his garages. He was leaving his car in what he thought was an okay place but on our shared area, but he didn't realise that while he had left himself a straight reverse out over our shared drive (and his car is a compact) had left me with an "S" reverse out with a wider car passing close to his house wall and my neighbour the other side's fence. It wasn't until I had asked him three times to move that he twigged that he just hadn't physically looked at it from my side of the drive. he apologised and started leaving his car elsewhere.

Ellavoday · 22/01/2022 12:59

Speak to him, and if he persists, block your drive with your car.

Seeline · 22/01/2022 13:02

If you haven't spoken to him about, he probably doesn't think it's an issue.

Just go and tell him!

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