Small house with pre teen and toddler

[Imtootired]

I am a single mum. I have a 12 year old and a two year old, both boys. I am now in a position to get a mortgage but on the lowest end of the scale. I saw a nice place today but it is fairly small. There is one living area and ok sized bedrooms and a tiny kitchen. There are nice outdoor areas back and front. I could possibly get something bigger but it would be in a worse condition. I don’t have the time or money to change much so we would be living in whatever we bought as is. Our current place is a bit smaller and I’m feeling so stressed and caged in, but there is a lot of baby/toddler equipment we won’t need for much longer. Ideally I would love a place with a seperate kitchen area that would also fit a dining room and possibly a second living area for my older son when he is a teenager. I’m just wondering if anyone has experience of sharing a small space with a teen boy. We would always have to watch the same shows etc. Does anyone think this situation would be ok or should I wait for something bigger? I’m in Australia btw

YABU for it will drive us all crazy and YANBU for it’s fine

Will there be a bedroom each or will the boys have to share? If there’s a bedroom each, then I can see no problem at all.

Why would you have to watch the same shows? You can have a TV in the bedroom. Or most children have a tablet or laptop to stream TV.

Turn the older boys room into a bedroom living area with a high sleeper bed with a desk and pullout sofa bed for sitting on or for when friends come to stay.

If the boys are sharing then they can use headphones for watching TV soas not to disturb the younger one.

How many bedrooms will you have?

There will be 3 bedrooms. Yes I will need to make sure my older son has enough space for a desk to do homework in his room because I work from home so would have to use the living area for that. So I would need to think about a desk with the bed over the top but he does sleepwalk sometimes so I’m a bit worried he might fall out at night. He will need a chest of drawers and a wardrobe because there aren’t any built into the smaller rooms. So I don’t know if there would be room for a couch for him to chill out with friends.

So I don’t know if there would be room for a couch for him to chill out with friends

That is really not a standard expectation for a teenager. Or young adult - when I was in house shares in my 20s, my guests either hung out in the living room with the rest of my housemates, or sat on my bed in my room.

If you think the house is too small because the bedrooms don’t have room for sofas and desks in them, yep YABU, the house sounds fine.

If the issue is that you will be working from home so the living areas will be out of bounds most of the time, then yes that is more of an issue, but presumably he can have his friends around after 6pm/at weekends?

It sounds rather small from what your describing what with you working in the livingroom and the only way for him to study is a cabin style high sleeper bed.

What’s the garden like for having a shed/lodge den installed? Can be used by all but will be a good hang out for teenager with friends.

He doesn’t need a sofa to have friends around to chill most just sit on their mates beds and watch tv and game or whatever but obviously that wouldn’t work with a high sleeper.

Honestly, he doesn’t need a couch. He can chill with his friends on the bed or floor. That’s normal. Most bedrooms don’t have room for a couch. He still has his own space. My DC all shared a room throughout - though not a big age gap.

Yes I am fine to share the living area when I’m not working. It’s just our place now is quite cluttered and can get messy so I think I’ll need a whole new system of organisation. I think I will need to get my 12 year old a loft double bed. He is very big and tall already but a double bed will take up a lot of the space. Maybe I can then put a desk under the bed. I just want the house to be nice and relaxing so he can study and get in a good routine and he can bring his friends over

I’m attaching photos of the living area and one of the kids bedrooms. The current tenants have the living area looking very nice, I don’t know if it will look as nice with our things

As other people have said, a loft double bed actually makes it harder to have friends over because you can't all sit on the bed.

The TV thing is not a problem, my teens just use their phones in their room.

One of my ds has a sofa in his room.. But never uses it, he hangs out downstairs or outside and I'm the one retreating to my room! So think about a nice space for You.. Or maybe a desk in your room for you so you can work there rather than in the living room

What about your room? Would there be space for you workspace there?

Our DD has a double loft bed. Shes 10. We are hoping it will last until shes 14/15, then she can swap bedrooms with her sister, and then have a normal bed in that room when the finishes school. She won't really be able to have friends hang out there, but she can downstairs.

If he has a high double bed, there will be room under it for a desk space and cushions/beanbags for lounging on. I don’t think a double is needed. All the teens I have known only had single beds or bunk beds, though. If they go off to university, it’s single beds there too.

Those photos make it look very spacious and not small at all. It’s a nice-looking property.

Yes he probably doesn’t need the double but it may be nicer because I think he’s going to be quite tall. The master bedroom is a good size so there may be room for a desk but it’s bad enough working from home I don’t want to be in one room for almost 24 hours. It is lovely but the photos make it seem bigger and the kitchen is tiny and narrow and can’t fit a single chair

In fact the kitchen may not even fit my fridge so it may have to go in the living area like the current tenants have theirs

That house looks massive by Uk standards, OP.

The photos are way bigger than what you describe as 'small'!! I'm in the UK BTW.

Ok thanks for that, it’s good to have perspective. I think it’s more a problem of us having too much stuff and us driving each other crazy.

As your I’m Australia does the property have a sun room/ covered patio area. When I live thee we screened off the under cover area for my teens, ran a cable out and they watched TV out there. Sounds like organisation will be your success, ditch what you don’t need , surely the wee ones toys can be stored outside until winter? Unless
Your in an apartment?
Don’t overthink what your teen needs. A small Ikea desk and either a small double or high sleeper although that might be too hot/ too near a fan will do him. None of my teens friends have a sofa in their rooms. I’d also male a work station in your room, doesn’t matter if your in thee all day, you’ll be leaving for breaks, dinner etc.

Get your son a beanbag, out a drop down desk in your bedroom if you can do on the occasions he has friends over, they could have the downstairs space for a bit while you work upstairs. But honestly, I think you’re over-thinking it. Teenagers cram into all sorts of spaces in tiny bedrooms!
Also, if there is space outside for a den that would solve all your problems

If your worried about him socialising in his room could he not have your room? And you have one of the smaller rooms and your office in the livingroom.

I know it’s kinda out there but you say a desk etc would fit in yours but you’d rather not be in the one room 24/7. Put a double and wardrobe/draws in the smaller one for you or still claim some of the wardrobe space in the bigger one for yourself.

If it doesn't have a window you can not class a room as a bedroom technically.

I'd always go for the bigger property

That looks fairly big tbh. Bigger than most rooms in a small house in uk.

I would look again at having your main office in your bedroom though, as in living room only will restrict both children using the living room.
Can you make a desk area in bedroom with, then a small alternative desk in living room you use only when neither child is home