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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

advice needed - DD12 followed

13 replies

DDfollowed · 22/01/2022 07:32

Our DD is year 7 (12 already) and had a taxi service to school this week to replace her bus due to road closures. I saw her off on the first day and she had the same driver all week but on Friday afternoon it was a different driver and she says he dropped all three of them at the usual stop and then he followed her to the end of our drive, about 500m from the stop but you have to make a specific turn off the main road into our road. He didn't follow her down the drive which serves four houses which has reassured me that he doesn't know where we live but what should I do? Report it to the council? I'm going to meet her off the bus next week because I'm concerned that the taxi driver has the timetable and knows she usually walks home alone. Am I overthinking this?

OP posts:

Hmum0fthree · 22/01/2022 07:43

@DDfollowed he could have just been making sure they got home ok? But I would report it to the taxi company x

BookBanter · 22/01/2022 07:49

Yes, very likely that he was just making sure she got home okay. He's maybe trying to cover his own back in case, God forbid, she went missing or something and he was last to see her.

You can phone and enquire if that's standard practice and say that you would prefer that he just dropped at preferred drop off point.

Also don't worry about the taxi driver knowing where you live - it's almost always a requirement of their job!

Original poster

DDfollowed · 22/01/2022 07:50

@Hmum0fthree thanks for your reply. I don't think so as according to DD he didn't follow the other two who go in different directions. I don't know who the taxi company is because the council organised it so I would have to speak to them.

OP posts:

Ponoka7 · 22/01/2022 07:53

My first thought would have been he's done it to make sure that she's got home safe. Are you in the UK? Has she any SN? You could give her a whistle, or alarm to carry.

Ponoka7 · 22/01/2022 07:55

Could it be because there's a turn off the main road, he was concerned because she was out of sight of the main road?

ParsleySageRosemary · 22/01/2022 07:56

She has obviously been spooked by something. I would trust your (and her) instincts. Girls and women are at risk from men, most of us have problems to tell, and the entire world revolves around telling us it didn’t happen.

You can try to report it to the company: you might get the minimising brush-off, but perhaps if it keeps happening someone in that company will twig. In the meantime, yes I would try to meet her off the bus if that’s an option. Do it regularly at first, if you don’t see him do so randomly. Start operating personal security first and foremost, because ‘it never happened’ is an outright lie and it is never worth the risk.

ParsleySageRosemary · 22/01/2022 07:57

Sorry, report to the council.

Ponoka7 · 22/01/2022 07:57

Also when account jobs come in for school, the firm's usually give them to drivers who have been with the firm a while and they are known by reputation. Report if you want to.

Caterinasballerinas · 22/01/2022 08:01

I can see both sides here. The comment about trusting yours and DD’s instincts is a valid and important one. However, I have traditionally always been the last stop on taxi rides with my friends right from when we first started going out and the drops along the way were often just a little way from friends homes and the taxi wouldn’t mind not seeing them into their house but I always clocked that I was watched inside as the last drop. We also always do the call me when you get in line though so we are heard.

Original poster

DDfollowed · 22/01/2022 08:06

The first driver on Monday (I went and spoke to him to her embarrassment!) was lovely and I double checked arrangements about the drop off spot with him. He dropped her there all week without issues. It's the cover driver I'm concerned about. The road our drive turns off is a dead end, it's a quiet country lane type with the benefit of having houses on both sides as it's part of a bigger village. I'm suspicious about making sure she got home okay because from the end of the drive he wouldn't have been able to see (this sounds grander than it is, it's because the drive curves and opens up to four houses)

OP posts:

KarlUrbansWife · 22/01/2022 08:24

I'm a bit surprised by some of the other responses, I don't think you're overthinking it at all. Your daughter was concerned enough to tell you, you should both trust your instincts. People in positions of trust often abuse that position.
Please do meet your daughter off the bus next week, find out who the taxi firm and enquire if that's standard practice.

Qwertykeys · 22/01/2022 08:42

I would like to think he was seeing she was safe , as presume the other two walked together. I would maybe report it but be careful with the wording , maybe it was kind of the driver to see her safe to the drive but it made her feel a little uneasy. You can't egnor your daughter's instincts but equally you need to be careful ( driver might get dissaplined) if it was a genuine act of kindness.

KarlUrbansWife · 22/01/2022 08:49

I think you also need to be a bit careful about what your next actions say to you daughter. If you don't do anything, it may inadvertently give her the message that she was being silly. The next time someone makes her feel uncomfortable or uneasy (and let's be honest, as a woman there I'd always a next time) she may think she's being silly/paranoid and just brush it off.

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