What to do about these work situations (childcare)

[Hatefreezingweather1]

Work at a nursery through an agency. Honestly if I ever have children it makes me not want to send them to nursery if parents knew what it was like sometimes.
I'd say that I have a gentle but firm approach, I don't agree with shouting at children like some of the others do.
Another problem is that it's an unbelievably bitchy environment. There's constantly someone being slagged off, usually whoever isn't in the room and it makes you assume they'll do the same about you.
I was in one room today and suddenly I was 'swapped' with a girl from a more hectic room, who's only 18 and I have heard them talking behind her back saying she's 'lazy'.
Anyway, I was put in this room where more babies were crying and there were more of them.
There's a young nursery practitioner in there who seems to be hot headed at times but nice at others.
She told us to not pick up/cuddle one particular child under any circumstances as she 'needed to learn', then at one point the child went towards her and the nursery worker said 'Get away from me now!' which I thought was cruel.
Myself and a different nursery worker there are more softly spoken and at one point the hot headed one snapped at us for not being strict enough and raised her voice at us.
She later apologized and blamed her hormones.

Anyway eventually she disappeared for a while and I saw her gassing in the changing area with another nursery worker.
A little while later I was once again 'swapped' back to my original room, this time with someone else.
The room leader actually told me it was because they needed someone 'stronger than me' in front of everyone.
She said 'You're good, but Katie is just 'stronger' than you really'.
I just said 'right', because what am I meant to say to that really.
I almost cried which I know sounds pathetic but I felt I'd been put down in front of everyone and told I wasn't good enough.
Was I being too sensitive? I just wonder if there are better nurseries, does this sound normal?

Oh my word, this sounds like such a horrible nursery. I work in a nursery and would never dream of testing the children in that manner. In fact my nursery actively promotes giving the children affection, hugs and comfort (as should them all)!
I would most definitely be reporting.

@Hatefreezingweather1

I hate the whole which child is your favourite, which is the cutest, who loves me the most etc. It's so unfair to the children. The nursery worker I mentioned actually took a 1 year old girl yesterday, and carried her around to each room to show the 'awful' clothes her Mum had dressed her in! Ridiculous!

Well, are you going to report her on Monday?

Please whistleblow

@shouldistop

Yes obviously I can accept that there are good nurseries and poor childminders. But my point was that with a childminder there are fewer people to get to know and learn to trust, imo making it easier to form trusting bonds (at least that's how I personally feel). I'd be uncomfortable knowing a person I haven't met properly or formed a relationship with was caring for my baby. It's great that it worked out good in your little one's nursery. I'm simply saying that for me, it felt like too big a risk to try a nursery and hope it's like yours. Instead, I wanted to get to know just one person well before leaving my baby for long days. We all look at things differently.

That is not normal.

Absolutely report them on Monday.

[quote Sofiegiraffe]@shouldistop

True. But you only have to get to know and learn to trust one person with a childminder (and one other in my case who works alongside her). That to me personally felt like a far safer bet than knowing lots of different people would be looking after my baby and not knowing the standard of every member of staff. You can't have a close relationship with every one of them. I felt strongly that I wanted that relationship with the person who looked after my baby, which is exactly what I have now. [/quote]
For me it was more important to know that there was a level of supervision and institutional controls in place. I could never leave my DC with a childminder as I would never trust someone working alone.

Reporting to ofsted

[quote Sofiegiraffe]@shouldistop

Yes obviously I can accept that there are good nurseries and poor childminders. But my point was that with a childminder there are fewer people to get to know and learn to trust, imo making it easier to form trusting bonds (at least that's how I personally feel). I'd be uncomfortable knowing a person I haven't met properly or formed a relationship with was caring for my baby. It's great that it worked out good in your little one's nursery. I'm simply saying that for me, it felt like too big a risk to try a nursery and hope it's like yours. Instead, I wanted to get to know just one person well before leaving my baby for long days. We all look at things differently. [/quote]
I could never get over the fact that my DC would be taken care of by a sole child minder behind closed doors. I don’t think I could ever trust someone that much.

There will always be bitching in a female working environment 😢

This place sounds awful

Always cuddle children if they want one

I would look for another job, maybe think about becoming a nanny @Hatefreezingweather1

I have worked in 3 nurseries. Thank God none were like this! The only part I can identify with, is the bitching. I think this is common. I would get the hell out of there OP. How could anyone speak like that to a child?! They have had inadequate training and management by the sound of it and are not suited to the job. How sad for those kids.
You should never have been belittled like that either. People are crying out for decent childcarers. Either swap to nannying or change nurseries.

Never mind waiting until you leave to report!!! Do it now. It's a safeguarding concern.
Letting them get away with it for longer makes you complicit.

Heartbreaking. Well done for reporting. This is one of the reasons I’ve always felt more comfortable sending my children to a small, traditional style preschool with older women who have worked there a long time. I’m young myself but find that environment of experienced mothers a lot more nurturing and warm.

Some nurseries are like this - unfortunately the ones that rely on using agency workers are likely to be the ones that have high staff turnover and poor management.

@Sofiegiraffe

I often see childminders in the playground chatting to their child minders friends or on their phones not paying a single bit of attention to the kids.

@Hatefreezingweather1

It's very cruel to the baby I agree. They are due a visit I believe as various complaints have been put in. Also thought I was doing a fairly good job but now feel a little undermined. Though if they're complaining because I'm not abusive towards the children like some of them are then I'm very glad to not be like them

Report them to ofsted, go work in another nursery. It’s sadly common but by no means universal….(and why my children only went to school nurseries because I’ve seen to many horrifying private nurseries).

[quote Sofiegiraffe]@shouldistop

Yes obviously I can accept that there are good nurseries and poor childminders. But my point was that with a childminder there are fewer people to get to know and learn to trust, imo making it easier to form trusting bonds (at least that's how I personally feel). I'd be uncomfortable knowing a person I haven't met properly or formed a relationship with was caring for my baby. It's great that it worked out good in your little one's nursery. I'm simply saying that for me, it felt like too big a risk to try a nursery and hope it's like yours. Instead, I wanted to get to know just one person well before leaving my baby for long days. We all look at things differently. [/quote]
A good nursery will do settling in where you meet the person who will be caring for your child several times before their first day.

I agree with a pp that I wouldn't be able to trust a single person like a childminder enough tbh. There's no one else there to 'whistleblow' or manage them. And agree with another pp that I've seen too many childminders ignoring the children in their care.

I'm glad you seem to have found a good one. I've met many at toddler groups and only one id have considered leaving my child with tbh.

You @Hatefreezingweather1 are a good person, the others know this and feel threatened by it. Parents are often very upset that they have to leave their children in the care of others because society is such that a huge proportion have to work to put a roof over their heads and food in their bellies. They’re already trying to deal with the guilt, then juggling finances to pay for childcare for the “privilege” of going to work. The thought of leaving our children with people we believe to actually care for them in the hands of monsters- yes I went there as only a monster would treat a child like that- is gut wrenching at the least.
Without people like you in the world I dread to think what would become of us, please don’t let these arseholes take your tears, they’re not worthy of them and on behalf of the parents who send their children to the nursery you work for, a massive thank you for making a stand, people like you really do change the world for the better. It’s been a long day so I’m not being as articulate as I’d like but hopefully you know what I’m trying to say.

If you have concerns this needs reporting now even if it makes you uncomfortable itscour job as adults. My sons nursery was fabulous a good mix of mature and younger staff. Hugs freely given and received and happy kids.

My childminder doesn't work alone. And I have full trust in her and her assistant, so it works out really well for me. The nursery I visited by constant was appalling. Children being ignored who were crying on the floor, one of them picked up from behind with no warning or interaction and just plonked in a chair, no warmth of affection evident. And that was while we were visiting and being shown around! I'd hate to think how it would be when we weren't there. So, for me, the childminder setting is perfect, and I have very strong trust in the 2 people who look after my baby. It works for me.

*by contrast

My childminder has also held an ofsted "outstanding" rating for the past 9 years running. I'm not sure that's achieved with shoddy practice.

I'm signed up to another agency and have just applied for a few roles through them so fingers crossed

I know this is an old thread but was researching something and this came up.
I also do supply work and have been to about 8 nurseries now. In all honesty I have seen the same behaviours OP described in more than half of those. It is shocking and upsetting. Kids get treated terribly and so do agency staff. I hate it and wish a suitable nanny role would come up as my mental health is really suffering doing this kind of work.