To be a bit worried my year 12 DS doesn’t know what degree/job he wants to do?

[Billfortune]

Is it normal for them to not really know what career they want at this stage of year 12. DS is 17 and not sure but also doesn’t really want to talk about or explore options. He’s doing A’levels and wants to go to university so doesn’t he need to be thinking about this now? Feel like I’m being a bit pushy asking him about it when he’s clearly not keen to discuss it at the moment.

I have always been career focused and have had a successful professional career. But who on earth makes these decisions at 17! Well I know some will, but a definite minority.

He should be focusing on subjects he enjoys, that is all that matters at the moment.

It's pretty normal. We were worried as our DS was the same, but his teachers at school and staff at Uni open days all said that it's normal for the majority and that it's a minority who are fixed focussed on particular jobs/degrees.

When choosing GCSE's he just took a wide range to keep options only. He did the same for A levels.

We went to several Uni open days and went to pretty random subject talks/dept visits to see if anything inspired him. Nothing picqued his interest, but it did discount quite a few subjects, so he managed to narrow it down quite a lot, i.e. he quite liked the idea of Physics or engineering, but seeing the detail of what he'd actually be studying and the practical aspects turned him right off. He was really keen on Natural Sciences due to the mixture of subjects but then couldn't decide which subjects he'd want to do within it (!). He finally settled on Maths due to the way it opens doors careerwise, but then had to decide whether to do it as a single or joint degree, so we had to go through the options i.e. Maths with Physics, Maths with economics etc. He finally settled on Financial Maths as he thought it would be interesting to do Maths alongside economics, business, accounting, finance, etc. He's in the middle of the degree now and thoroughly enjoys the content. He's still no idea about jobs/careers, but one step at a time!!

I avoided going to university because I didn't know what to do. It was the best decision I've ever made. Lots of my friends went to university and studied things they weren't interested in, came to out with decades' worth of debt and no career.

Encourage him to take time out to figure out what he wants to do

Back off! Unless he wants to do law or medicine right now it’s not actually inmportant. He’ll find his way. I can’t tell you the number of friends I have who went into me and left, accountancy a d hated it and left, qualifies as architects and left.
Equally I know incredibly successful people who ended up in careers like acting, writing, education who never in a million years thought they would follow that path.

Personally, I was "pushed" into accountancy from a pretty early age, in fact the latter years of primary school. I had old school parents who were keen on a "profession" for me. At primary school, the class did some pretty superficial "what job would you like to do" discussions and I remember my teacher suggesting accountancy to me because I was good at Maths. Without really thinking of alternatives, I kind of sleep walked into accountancy and never really had any other career advice, so when I left school, I randomly wrote to a few local practices to see if any had any trainee jobs, and one did - the rest is history. I've never really liked it though and never been inspired or enthusiastic about it - it pays the bills, and that's about it really.

Maybe get a job doing something. I do feel that a degree is an awful expensive waste of time unless you know what you want to do with it.

DS is 20 this year and only just about to start Uni in September doing something completely unrelated to his A-level subjects. He took a couple of years out due to Covid mainly and has worked during this time. To be honest I think it was the best decision for him as he’s a much more confident and focused person now.

@Chikapu

Blimey I'm 52 and still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up! He has time to decide.

Mine doesn't either, it's really not unusual. What I will say is leave him be and don't pressure him, because in year 13 it will most likely be constant pressure from school to know what they want to spend the next 40 years doing, which universities to apply to, have they filled out their UCAS forms yet etc. He'll figure it out in time. Plus he could have a gap year, do a 1 year college course in a chosen subject before deciding on uni....In my personal experience only a very few actually have a clear idea of their chosen path at that age.

Y12 mum of ds here too.
He has no clue either, just knows he wants to do a maths degree at Uni.
Ideally he wants to get into something using his maths skills but frankly that's as far as he has got.... all he knows is it won't be teaching related!

Completely normal. Only thing I'd be mindful about is getting thousands of pounds in debt for a degree that either isn't necessary for a job he may want to do or leads to something he's uninterested in. He's got all his life to figure out what he wants, but I'd be wary of going to University just because it's the done thing.

I agree and I'm sure a lot of posters saying they didn't know even at uni, went when there weren't tuition fees. My DD is year 11 and pretty vague on what she wants to do although she knows she wants to do something creative or artistic. I'm pretty sure her school will expect her to go to uni because she is bright, but I hope to explore other options with her as well.

I'd say the vast majority of people I went to university had no clear idea what they would do afterwards. Very few work in a field directly linked to their degree subject or A-level subject.

My 15 year old (year 11) has a vague idea about what she might want to do but I don't think most know for sure, and most just choose A levels they enjoy and /or are good at. They're much more likely to work hard and do well if they enjoy their subjects.

Sorry but how on earth would a 17year old know what they want to do for a career when they have no real experience of work and are still becoming an adult. Fair play to the few that pick medicine or law or whatever and run with it but most people just aren’t like that. It’s fine, OP.

Don't pressurise him. He'll probably benefit from a gap year. So fw of them have any clue at this age, let alone having lacked social and academic stimulus of actually going to school for the past two years!

Me to Yr 13 DS2 during lockdown: Are you sure you don't want to have a gap year? You could do an art foundation for free. You love art.
DS2: No! I want to go straight to uni.
DS2 yesterday (now in 2nd year of uni): When I finish uni I am going to do an art foundation.
Me: Oh?
DS2: yeah. If I'd done it in a gap year after school it would have been free.
Me: Really?

They just have to discover what they want at their own pace.

If he’s not sure why he wants to “be” then I would be encouraging him to do at uni what he is good at/enjoys the best. That will give a good foundation and if it doesn’t lead directly to a job then can do further study.

Perfectly normal. My sons at uni and still has no idea. His older brother was the same, as was I.

I did my degree in English with absolutely no idea what I wanted to do. Ended up then doing another degree in a completely unrelated subject for my job.

I did a psychology degree with no idea what I wanted to do. I didn’t want to be a psychologist. I took an admin type job after Uni and then looked around to see what else I wanted to do. I tried PR and knew I didn’t want to do that quite quickly. So I then went for some jobs in TV and that ended up being my career path. I don’t think it is unusual to be in his shoes.

My DF's DS has applied to Keele for exactly that reason @SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius. He quite likes the idea of a Campus Uni too.

Wtf. I didn't know what I wanted to do until I got offered my first job!

Mine doesn't either - well he's 19 now and started on a law degree (decided after a year he didn't like that). Switched to fashion marketing and still doesn't know what he wants out of it!

I have another son in Y11 who also doesn't know what he wants to study 🤣

It's a common theme in our house!

Work in a careers related field.
It’s 100% normal not to know, in fact I’d say only a very small percentage of 17-18 year old have a clear commitment to one career idea. Portfolio careers (moving from one field to another) are increasingly the norm too.
That said, Degrees in arts/humanities/pure subjects like maths, history and georgia physics are useful for many careers and the university experience can really benefit in other ways. BUT if a young person shows an interest in a vocational degree - say law, engineering, etc then the new degree apprenticeships are well worth exploring - get paid work experience and the degree paid for simultaneously.
I also think there is a lot of value in structured gap years, schemes such as BUNAC, etc,

Good luck to you and your boy. With your support I’m sure he will find a way forward.

*geography

And another vote for driving to a Uni and just wondering around and having a coffee.

Don't think DS really got motivated until we did this. You could almost see him imagining his new life at Uni as he walked around.

I wish I didn't know at 17/18, wouldn't have wasted time on a degree I now don't use the academic side of.

Looking back I'd also say, leaving school aside, what does he actually like doing when it's up to him?

For my ds you could say gym, athletics, certain types of gaming, piano, obsession with modern architecture. What they all share is that they're quite solitary and the way he does them is quite maths based - at the gym and on the track he thinks about percentages of improvement a lot. He is uninterested in narrative, only watches films with other people to have something in common with them. Its not surprising he's landed on computer science as his area for career development.