To shave my head

[ManyManyBiscuits]

My hair is the one thing I used to like about my appearance. Lately though, it's gone 'a bit rubbish' - it's not curling like it used to and it feels dry and fluffy. The products that I have used in the past to control the curl aren't having the same effect. It also feels like there is much less of it than there used to be.

I had it cut in September which is pretty recent for me. I can easily go 9 months between cuts and it usually looks ok. Because it's curly, it doesn't have much of a particular style.

I've been colouring it with supermarket (non-ammonia) dyes during the pandemic so I wonder if that's knackered it or alternatively, it's possibly one more shitty peri-menopause thing. I've stopped dying it but that also means the colour is now awful.

Anyway, last night I had half a mind just to shave it off with DH's clippers.

I would look appalling but it would solve the dye problem and would give me a new growth of hair.

YABU - you will regret it horribly.

YANBU - it's only hair, go for it.

I wouldn't go full skinhead but maybe a '4'.

I too have had similar thoughts, although I'd go for an 8.
I haven't troubled a hairdresser for two years ( covid/ shielding) but with curls it's less obvious. It's now in a long plait and I'm a bit fed up with it!

It feels quite drastic though!

I did it during the 1st lockdown.. went from a sleek Bob to .2. The feeling of freedom was a huge high. Didn't regret it for even a second!

It must be very liberating to shave one's head.
My friend did it for charity. Most responses were positive but every so often she'd get abuse and negativity (called a 'dyke' by strangers, accused of not being feminine or 'a woman', treated as having cancer/chemo).

I say do what makes you happy.

PS I think it takes a lot of courage for a woman to go hairless given that we live in a society where head of hair is linked to feminine attractiveness (sadly).

Don't do it...you literally said it's the only thing you liked about your appearance. Get a hair mask and some serum or go to the hairdresser and ask for advice. Shaving it is drastic

I wouldn't.

I've shaved my head in the past (when I was in my 30s and at peak attractiveness) and I felt I had to massively overcompensate for it with makeup/accessories/outfits.

Standing in front of the mirror on a morning, puffy and sans makeup and seeing Uncle Fester on a bad day looking back at you is not good for the old self-esteem.

I would concentrate on finding the right treatments and products for your hair instead.

I have curly hair and it went dry and brittle and what saved me was a good conditioner and actually leave in hair for a good 5 mins and coconut oils

I wouldn’t do it voluntarily tbh. DS1 shaved my head (while we drank champagne) when I was losing my hair through Chemo. People tend to give women without hair that “poor cow, glad it’s not me” look. If you are 20s and can rock the look go for your life but otherwise be prepared to live with the assumptions.

Do it.

What the hell.

It grows back.

I shaved mine or almost shaved, down to a 6-ish a few times when I was young. Bleached it afterwards. It was very 90s.

I did get the occasional sympathetic look but I saw it as very much their misconception rather than anything to do with me. You can't control other people's thoughts but you can control your own reaction to them.

Go for it! I know loads of women who have, or have had, shaved heads. One had issues from work, but they had very strict dress requirements for both sexes - you have to book holiday if you want to grow a beard strict. No other issues at all and quick, easy, cheap and cool in summer.

Maybe wait for the start of spring though... If you're used to lots of hair, you will feel chilly without it!

I've had a v short pixie which was shaved #2 on the back/sides, and scissor cut short on top, maybe about 1-2in in length. I would absolutely do that again, but I'm not sure I'm brave enough to go the whole hog and shave the top too.

FWIW, it grew really quickly! And I've seen a lot of people say they did it and never regretted it for a minute.

Do it! It'll grow back, if it's that bad you can wear a scarf, hat, or wig. I absolutely loved being bald it's just soooo liberating.

Look up the curly girl method first!
Often products that used to work stop working as well when the balance between moisture and protein in your hair changes. You might need to add more moisturising or protein rich products.
It can really help curly hair. (And, if you try it and it doesn't reduce your hair to a better state in a few months, you can shave it for summer!)

I feel your pain OP. During lockdown I thought I’d take the opportunity to grow my hair but it was a failure… thin and frizzy. Awful. I think in my case it was mainly hormonal as I’m 51 but my hairdresser told me that the box dyes can turn your hair to a cotton wool texture. I didn’t shave my hair off but I cut it short - above ears short. It does suit me and I love it but it has changed how my clothes look on me. Some of my necklines don’t look as good. On the plus side I can put on a shirt and some bright red lipstick and look edgy. I think you should see a good hairdresser and have a consultation. It might be another cut would sort the problem without the need for a full shave. You’re also going to need a good hairdresser if the plan is to grow it back eventually as it will need shaping as you go. If you want some inspiration and have Instagram have a look at Cathirae who is an older woman who really looks great with a shaved head.

@DamnUserName21

It must be very liberating to shave one's head. My friend did it for charity. Most responses were positive but every so often she'd get abuse and negativity (called a 'dyke' by strangers, accused of not being feminine or 'a woman', treated as having cancer/chemo).

I say do what makes you happy.

As long as you are happy you can deal with this, you’ll probably enjoy the change

Otherwise get it cut short properly and start again

As long as you're not doing it for a cancer charity go for it.
I lost my hair due to chemo in 2029. It grew back horribly at first in early 2020.
So in lockdown 1 I shaved it off to a buzz cut with clippers. It was so liberating. And then it grew back in fab waves.

As above, l think a cut with an experienced stylist would be a happy medium. If you don't like the buzz cut, it would take a year, or two to grow back. Maybe stop the dyes and buy natural shampoo. Could be menopause also.

Go to the hairdresser and get them to give you a very short pixie cut/crop. They will be able to give you a very, very short cut that will be more forgiving than just shaving it all off to a single length.

I've had a lot of extremely short haircuts, but there is still a little bit of variation in length and shape even in a super short barbershop-style cut that on most people will look a lot more flattering than buzzing it all off to the same length all over.

Thank you for your responses. I think a close crop at the hairdressers might be a good compromise.

Before you do that, try using coconut oil body lotion on it when its wet, leave that on for a few minutes.Then wash with coconut shampoo and conditioner, and finish with rinse water that has a tablespoon of lemon juice or white vinegar in it. Its the only thing that smooths my hair now I'm menopausal.

For me it was definitely a shitty peri-menopause thing, so shaving it off will make no difference. Perhaps speak to your hairdresser about supplements or look into any dietary improvements you might be able to make.

Standing in front of the mirror on a morning, puffy and sans makeup and seeing Uncle Fester on a bad day looking back at you is not good for the old self-esteem.

This. I did the same. It felt comfortable, but looked pathetic. Ok with a lot of makeup and bling. but without - looked like a sickly boy.

There's no amount of money in the world that could make me shave my head.

The vast VAST majority of women cannot get away with a shaved head. Sorry, they just can't...

Don't do it @ManyManyBiscuits