The 75,000 is gone isn't it ?

[Memestockwidow]

My OH has been obsessed with meme stocks , keeps saying he's going to be rich have no mortgage and retire. The stock has crashed to 102 and he's just bought more. There's no diversifying his portfolio he's literally bunged 75,000 in one stock. We have been saving to upsize for a few years but my OH keeps putting it off as he wants to be mortgage free. Whatever I say he won't listen 75,000 pounds has gone into a meme stock it's like a bloody cult. We could have moved already with that money and it's been pissed away.

Is this a gambling addiction ?

@gazprom

He's worked in banking and invested in Gamestop? That doesn't make any sense.

Lots of people work in banking who aren't skilled at trading or risk assessment- there are a huge proportion of tech dudes who spend too much time on Reddit. Also imo that might explain why he didn't appreciate the training on conflicts of interest that colleagues who do actual trading would have received.

He lost his job - deservedly - because he was stupid enough to think the rules wouldn't apply to him.

Now he’s lost his money - deservedly - because he thinks he knows better and he’s an exception to the rule (the people who actually do make money from this style of trading did their research, knew about it in advance and got out ASAP; it's suckers like OP DH who will carry the can because they insist on believing they're too smart to fall for a scam/play).

He’s about to lose his family next if he can't or won't pull his head out of his arse...

@Londongent

Just read up on meme stocks, as I hadn't heard of them and I work in finance. Speculative trading like this is high risk high reward. Looks like meme stocks are on the way out. I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole.

makes me feel better that you've not heard of them

is it the same as NFTs?

tbh OP, I regard the regular stock market as risky. Everyone has a different tolerance. I think the immediate thing is to ask him to put any family money in an account where you have to sign off on expenditure.

do you think it's addiction in the sense that he might become addicted to gambling games? In that case he needs treatment.

I think there was a window for those in the know - but then I'm not an expert. But to keep sinking money when he's already lost so much...jeez.

If he was a decent trader, it would be his job. Some people do trade their own portfolio well but only if they have been front line traders for years and have retired. The rest should just not get involved.

I keep my own savings in my own accounts so I'm not worried about my money going

Best make sure it stays there, OP, because when this all goes wrong - and it will - I guarantee he'll ask you to "invest" on the basis that "It'll all come right and I know what I'm doing"

You need decent expertise to deal even in reputable stocks, but he just sounds like a fool who's bought into the latest thing which he doesn't understand at all - perhaps a bit of a waster overall?

You wouldn't be the first person who woke up one morning to find her house had been remortgaged

This, OP.
You are going to need to convert your understandable anxiety into hypervigilance re: your credit score, & mortgage & bank accounts. Your man's trader background would have me very worried about his form for not disclosing ... with you as the victim this time around.

www.ft.com/content/8bbd2ef9-41fe-4dfa-8f02-28b3f3dac200

"But as the world faces a potentially turbulent year, those messages from GameStop matter, particularly since it will probably be small investors who get hurt when the bubble bursts."

Buying the dip? In the current direction of outflows/Fed policy/interest rates, I’m not hearing anyone buying the dip. It’s not a dip, the Nasdaq entered correction territory this week and tech stocks/meme stocks will take a very long time to recover. Is he actually reading financial news or just Reddit? His money’s gone if he sells, otherwise he can just sit and watch his meme stocks struggle while the Fed raises interest rate 4x this year and wipes all future valuation off the table.

Apologies OP - his bank job background, seen your update that he was IT, not a Trader. The rest of it still applies though - he was basically sacked for misconduct.

@YerWanIsGettinNotions's post says it all - he thinks the rules don't apply to him.

I'd suggest he’s very unlikely to be a "waster" but I'd bet my own house that he likes to think he's Very Smart - that he is genuinely intelligent and capable at what he does, but has mistaken that for "savvy and ahead of the field" because he spends a lot of time on the internet. (Which is basically every Redditor ever, and I include my DH in that! And probably me too!)

Except that Reddit isn't as unique or exclusive or agile or tech focused as it used to be, and it's now the internet equivalent of the Metro newspaper. Yesterday's news, brought to the masses who weren't looking at the sources from the start. It's dad-tech, and unreliable for guidance on living a normal life.

@YerWanIsGettinNotions

I'd suggest he’s very unlikely to be a "waster" but I'd bet my own house that he likes to think he's Very Smart - that he is genuinely intelligent and capable at what he does, but has mistaken that for "savvy and ahead of the field" because he spends a lot of time on the internet. (Which is basically every Redditor ever, and I include my DH in that! And probably me too!)

Except that Reddit isn't as unique or exclusive or agile or tech focused as it used to be, and it's now the internet equivalent of the Metro newspaper. Yesterday's news, brought to the masses who weren't looking at the sources from the start. It's dad-tech, and unreliable for guidance on living a normal life.

You're right he thinks he's very smart and "better" than people who do the normal thing of slow investing, buy a house have a mortgage and retire later.

If you are now paying his share of etc family finances, holidays, food or savings etc because of his "tied up" income, then he is gambling at the expense of your income. I think you should get advice from one on those organisations that supports families of gamblers. I dont know if this is an addiction but it seems to be affecting you in the same way, they might have advice on how to deal with it. You need to get all the financial details together that you can. Also see a relationship adviser who can help you discuss how finances are organised.
This must be such a worry for you. What a waste of savings!
Also the fact that he is not sharing any details of it is concerning.
have you checked your current mortgage and how it is being repaid? He hasn't changed it recently has he?

OP there’s no curing him if he thinks he’s ‘smart’.
I worked in finance, now tech and it’s basically an echo chamber of people like him. Think they’re geniuses, above the plebs.

I’d say it’s not an addiction as he isn’t trying to cope with anything but more that he’s swept up in the cult. Any ‘sensible’ advice will be met with ‘that’s just Wall Street trying to shut people down’.

GameStop wasn’t due to only retail investors but the big boys. SOME hedge funds lost, driven out not by retail investors but other large investors.

There’s no free lunch in life, high reward high risk.

*sorry I meant Reddit’s an echo chamber

It sounds like an addiction. I feel sorry for you.

If he wins he wins big and everyone knows about it. Most lose money though.

Some make money on meme coins and some don't. Whales manipulate the market it booms and then they dump their stock at a profit and run. The small man sits on a loss. Loses aren't loses until taken so if the stock rises again then sell off as it hits a profit.

If you stay with him, you need to separate your finances entirely.

Do not trust banks to protect your interests - you won’t be the first to find that your house is remortgaged, or a joint account cleared. It’s only when the female partner tries that the spouse gets a heads up.

My dh was able to sell my car that was in my name to a dealer who he was doing a lot of business with. I went absolutely ballistic and in fairness dh wasn’t trying to put one over on me. In his head he was being efficient but men just stick together.

I couldn’t stay with a gambler or any type of addict. It’s a very hard line for me. But it may not be for you and I’m not judging. But if you stay you need to protect your assets and your credit rating

I'm so sorry OP. I've met a lot of those kinds of guys - sometimes in my or DH's professional roles (finance!) but mostly, I'm afraid to say, in my previous work in consumer debt.

Highly intelligent women tend to have huge imposter syndrome and don't brag. Highly intelligent men, once they realise they're now also highly skilled, often fall into the trap of thinking they are the Cleverest Person in the Room and therefore infallible in other areas.

The awful thing is, half the time when rock bottom hits, they're not even sorry or shamefaced. They're furious instead - just outraged that the world didn't work out the way they expected it to. As if the act of betting so heavily on it was going to be the thing that made it supposed to work. Because the world is not allowed to go against the interests of an educated and successful middle aged man - it must mean the system is broken! I've met so many of them, I sometimes find myself watching DH like a hawk for those signs of hubris.

I really, really hope your DH is one of the men that breaks the mould and comes to his senses before it's too late!

I've done some research around crypto and gambling vs high risk investing, I dont know much about stocks, but here is my take.

1. The Gamestop thing earlier this year was a deliberate strategy that had a chance of working if the regulators or platform did not pull the plug (which they did). However Gamestop did raise considerable working capital from it. Personally I wouldnt touch it with a bargepole, but I dont follow stocks and its possible (but unlikely tbh) that it might be undervalued.

1. I am a little curious to how your husband would describe it. If he isnt buying and selling frequently and just bought at $175 and its now $102, thats a bad dip, but if he is confident in his position and is taking the long view, it doesnt seem like he is actually gambling, even if he might be making highly risky objectively poor investments.

1. If he is gambling - making multiple trades a week/day, covering up losses, being secretive about them etc, then Castle Craig is the place to get in touch with. I know they have a specialist crypto currency gambling addiction service, and the gamestop phenomenon is in a very similar vein.

Hope this helps.

It's only a dip if a liquidity event has pushed it below its valuation - like the overall market in Mar 2020 due to covid.
GME is the exact opposite of that - it spiked (massively) above its value and is now reverting back to the price (around $20).

Yes, I think this definitely is a gambling addiction. My father is an addict and along with horse racing, risky investments are what he's lost most of his money on. You need to distance yourself financially from him as much as you possibly can until he (if he) sorts himself out. This has the potential to ruin you too, you need to protect your finances and assets NOW. Don't wait, don't have a serious discussion where he tells you he'll sort it, he's sorry etc. He might not even admit he has a problem. Get all the cash you can in a bank account in your name only, and see a solicitor asap so you can sort out the house/mortgage to try and protect that from him. Whilst you're doing all that, you can try and sort your DH out (if you want to stay with him), get him counselling, so GA meetings etc, but you must not delay in protecting yourself financially. If he's got debt, or if he gets into debt (you might not know about the debt yet, he might be hiding it), you could lose your home and all your savings if they're in joint names. Gamblers are incredibly good liars, you need to presume everything that he tells you is a lie. This course of action may sound extreme, but a gambling addiction is a truly terrible, life destroying illness. Don't let it destroy you too. Good luck OP.

Oh wow. He’s gambled that away!! Get out and get a deed of separation ASAP so your finances are legally split.

Yes @YerWanIsGettinNotions, that's exactly what my dad is like, unfortunately.

Reading up more on Gamestop is quite interesting...it's share price typically traded around $4-$12 before being hyped up on social media sites to rise to $300. If you got in and out then, then fair play. But this was based on false info/market manipulation to drive the price up...not on the actual value of the company. The company made a $105m loss compared to $18m the previous year. Target share price in 1 year is estimated to be $56. Does your OH do any research into companies or just read Reddit?

He’s not buying in a dip he’s chasing losses

100% this.

He sounds desperate and additcted.

Get him to subscribe to (and watch!) Damien Talks Money on YouTube. This one might be particularly relevant:

but all the content is proper quality, wish I'd had access to it years ago before I fucked up my financial security through poor choices (not gambling, just stupidity!).

I've just read more of your posts OP, and no, you're not correct that your house is safe because you can afford it on your own. If he has debts, your house could be repossessed. I wouldn't believe him if he tells you he has no debts, knowing the extent to which gamblers lie.