Birthday-do etiquette

[Birthdayfun]

I wish to do small get together for DS birthday next month at a coffee shop that also offers light dishes (Mac and cheese /sandwiches /pancakes etc). Budget only allows me to do hot drink for the adult and food for the kids . On invite I’ll make it clear a hot drink each is on me for the parent and food for the kids . But, what do I do on the day if a parent tries to take advantage and says , for instance, “oh I’ll have some pancakes too actually , I didn’t get to eat a proper breakfast today “ or “can I see the proper menu please to the waiter “? I hope nobody would be that cheeky, but just thinking ahead ! Would you be silently disappointed and suck it up, ensuring you have extra cash ready just in case or would you apologise and somehow remind them of what is meant to be on you ? Personally I normally don’t like accommodating grabby behaviour, but I also don’t want to make it awkward when I’m supposed to be hosting! I appreciate maybe not everyone will think that would be cheeky behaviour!

ordering food is not cheeky - expecting you to pay is. Just be clear with the waitstaff if an adult wants to buy food they tell the adult they'll do a separate bill.

I think i’d pay for everything for the kids nothing for the adults. Nice and easy!

Most important thing here is does the cafe know it's hosting a toddlers birthday party? Could get very messy. Not fair just to drop on them and have them make minimum profit for over an hour. And then have to clean up after it.

Can you send a menu with the invites and ask prior to tick a meal for the child and a hot drink for themselves.

^^
This is a good idea.

I also think it’s fine to just say to the waiter/ ress “can you put that on a separate bill please?” If an adult orders food.

Tbh I think it’s nice to provide a hot drink for the parents if you can

The thing is OP, it’s your choice to do the party in this cafe. Most people would do it at home, in a hall or soft play or whatever.

I imagine the kids menu is quite cheap, so that’s fine for you. But to come to this ‘kids party,’ you are effectively asking people to come and spend whatever they are going to have from the adult menu - so probably double what you are paying. Plus they will have brought a gift. Maybe this is an issue for them - maybe not? Who knows?

Now I’m sure they don’t mind paying for themselves and I doubt they’ll be cheeky enough to all order brunch and then sit back and let you get it. But nevertheless, it probably would have been easier to do a kids party elsewhere. Give them a coffee or Prosecco at your house with some birthday cake and be done with it! Anyway, hope it all works out.

Are you sure the cafe are ok with this? Especially if you're planning on using the table for a while when the children are playing. If it's a week day in term time maybe a soft play might be better? One of the local ones near me does parties for preschoolers on school days.

It would be utter madness to rely on adults ordering food.

You would need a very clear conversation with the cafe.

You can’t really invite people to a party in a cafe and expect them not to order more than one hot drink. Perhaps you need to invite less people.