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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for the scan to be covered

23 replies

kittykat33 · 19/01/2022 22:21

Hello All,

I am just laying in bed worrying about this so thought I'd seek opinions. I know it's a minor detail and won't make much difference but I'm struggling emotionally with this whole situation and clearly not thinking straight.

I have a scan tomorrow at the EPU. It's been 14 days since a prior scan showed only a sac and a yolk but nothing else. I should have been 6+4 at the first scan but they said around 5 weeks.

Tomorrow I should be 8+4 but I'm not feeling positive about the outcome. I've been spotting and having light bleeding on & off for 4 weeks now. I have barely any pregnancy symptoms, just sore boobs occasionally but no sickness etc.

My dates could be out by 5-7 days but no further than that because I haven't had sex.

Anyway. Based on the fact I'm pretty sure it's all gone wrong AIBU to ask them to cover the screen so I can't see the scan?

Last time I could see the screen and it was torture as they checked everything and did measurements before they told me what was going on but it was obvious there was no baby or heartbeat.

Part of me thinks it doesn't really make a difference if I see it or not and the other part thinks I don't want to see either the same as before or even worse a baby but no heartbeat.

I'm absolutely dreading tomorrow. The last two weeks have been awful and really made me quite depressed. I just want to protect myself the most & get through it as best I can.

Any advice?

OP posts:
PinkMoon22 · 19/01/2022 22:23

Of course.
Just say can you please turn the screen.

Sorry your going through this. Thanks

GreenClock · 19/01/2022 22:25

I’m sure that if you explain, something will be done OP. They will have been asked this before. 💐

gingerbubs · 19/01/2022 22:29

I have asked this previously. They will definitely have heard it before and will understand. I hope things go smoothly for you whatever the outcome x

kittykat33 · 19/01/2022 22:41

Thank you for the kind replies. Atleast I know I'm not being completely strange to not want to look.

Two weeks ago I was so sad that I'd be stuck in limbo. I said then that the waiting and not knowing is worse than any outcome, particularly as the outcome is beyond my control and nothing can be done.

Now I'm faced with the reality of an answer I'm finding it all a bit unbearable. I want to cancel the appointment and bury my head in the sand and see what happens.

I don't even want my partner there. That sounds heartless but I just don't want to deal with someone else's emotions too and if he's there I will have to talk about it with him. Not unreasonable but I don't want to.

This all feels a million miles away from my first pregnancy.

Tomorrow is going to be a shit day.

OP posts:
OfstedOffred · 19/01/2022 22:57

Yanbu.

I have asked for this in a similar situation twice. Once I was right, it was bad a no go. They were very calm and kind. The other time after they checked a few things they just said very simply that they could see a heartbeat and that the measurements were consistent with my dates and asked me if I would like to see.

OfstedOffred · 19/01/2022 22:58

Oh and I went without my DH for one i was sure was a no go..completely understand that. I needed to cry by myself in the car and not talk about it.

Meadowblossom · 19/01/2022 23:05

I think they generally have the screen turned away from you. I have had 3 miscarriages OP and I know how awful it is. However I also had a pregnancy that I bled at 5,6,7,12,13 and 28 weeks and I carried through to 36 weeks with a healthy baby. I understand wanting to be there by yourself too. I did most of the scans at my miscarriages and my heathy pregnancy on my own due to my husbands work and actually I was fine with that.
I am sending you virtual hugs at this difficult time OP. All may still be well.

AliveAndSleeping · 19/01/2022 23:11

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I don't think there is anything wrong with you asking them to turn the screen away from you. I'm sure they'll understand.

Huge hugs!!

gingerbubs · 20/01/2022 11:51

Thinking of you today @kittykat33 xx

kittykat33 · 20/01/2022 15:03

Thanks @gingerbubs. To my surprise I had a positive scan this morning. Baby with a heartbeat. Measuring a bit behind. They're still somewhat concerned about the bleeding and having another scan in my two weeks.

I don't know what to think at the moment. Hasn't sunk in.

OP posts:
DorisFlies · 20/01/2022 15:06

That is really encouraging news x

gingerbubs · 20/01/2022 15:16

Ah wonderful, I'm so glad there is hope! Such a stressful time for you though x

Bluemamma · 20/01/2022 15:22

Lovely news and I really hope everything’s gonna be ok, fingers crossed for you, hang in there!

mygrandchildrenrock · 20/01/2022 15:28

Congratulations and hopefully everything will remain well. Flowers

PinkMoon22 · 20/01/2022 15:32

Amazing news Thanks

LizBennet · 20/01/2022 15:36

Fingers crossed for you🤞

AliveAndSleeping · 20/01/2022 15:39

I'm so happy to read this!! Hope it all goes smoothly from now on. I had heavy (very heavy I would call it) spotting for the first 16 weeks or so. I kept thinking I was going to miscarry but he's a healthy 6 month old now. We never found out what had caused the spotting.

Fingers crossed and best wishes to you.Flowers

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/01/2022 15:41

I don't know what to think at the moment. Hasn't sunk in.

Just breathe and put one foot in front of the other. Your emotions will catch up. Flowers

Leftbutcameback · 20/01/2022 15:47

Oh gosh, just caught up with this thread, you must be all over the place OP. Flowers

Leftbutcameback · 20/01/2022 15:47

Will be keeping fingers crossed for you

Lovemelongthai · 20/01/2022 15:47

Aw yay, brilliant news op.

Bunglemom · 20/01/2022 15:48

Just wanted to say im so pleased for you, i had exactly the same as you in my 1st pregnancy, no explanation of what caused the bleeding so it will always be a mystery!

Wishing you good luck and a healthy pregnancy.

kittykat33 · 20/01/2022 19:14

Thank you for all the kind responses - means a lot.

No idea how I feel yet but tonight I’m going to open the ‘2nd baby’ book I brought when I got my BFP that I’ve been to sad to open. Baby steps.

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