To want three children?

[Onebluefish]

We have one ds. About to TTC no 2. But I feel strongly I won’t be done at 2, and I’ve no idea at all why, but I really want three.

However I am 42. I’ve no chance have I? (Unless no 2 is twins.)

Maybe wait til you’ve lived with 2 first to see how you man and then see if you want another?
What does your partner want?
And yes, your age is against you. It’s less like to conceive a healthy baby in your mid forties but still a possibility.

You can try, but I wouldn't have thought it's very likely. Lots of people will come on here and say I had my first at 50 or I had 6 kids in my 40s it's fine. I had two in my 30s, am mid-40s now and the thought of a baby is exhausting. Already getting hints of the perimenopause horrors to come and would not want that alongside three very young DCs plus all the health risks of older pregnancies, births etc. Each to their own, but honestly I'd focus on enjoying the one you have, on TTC no.2 and not be looking ahead to what you haven't got. It's all such a big unknown and if this age (when some friends have already died and my parents haven't long left) has taught me anything, it's to enjoy what I've got in the moment as much as possible and ease off on the longing.

No one should have more children than to replicate themselves, it’s terrible for the environment.

There's no harm in trying but I'd suggest you'd have the best chance if you TTC again asap after no2 is born (if you're lucky enough to conceive).

Agree with super-ram no one should be having more than 2 anyway . Also I and most of my friends noticed significant change between early 40s and mid. Could have physically contemplated it at 42 at 45 no flipping way.

You won't know until you try!
I conceived easily at 41 and 42 (had number two at 43).
I would love a third but my husband wants to stick at two, so that's that! I am now 44 and I think I would get pregnant again quickly.

If you're really desperate I'd consider IUI because the chances of multiples is so much higher, but that's probably not 'good' advice.

YANBU to want 3 children.
However you would U to put too much hopes on it happening. Fertility is not guaranteed for anyone and obviously your aware age does have an impact.

I’d leave thinking about number 3 until later…you’ve not even got number 2 yet. I always thought I’d want 3, but when I had 2 that changed.

Obviously this is anecdotal but every family of 3 I know either has expressed regret (in a jokey parentally acceptable way) that they should have stopped at 2 or the 3rd child is an absolute menace. Oddly I know lots with more than 3 children who don’t have the same dynamics.

Why do you think you want 3….are you one of three.

Three kids is fucking hard work.

Ive 3 boys, thankfully one is off at Uni now and one going in Sept. 🤞

Youngest is 16. I can really see how much easier and more fun life would've been with just one or possibly 2.

More money, nicer car, better holidays, etc etc

I don’t know why I want three, tbh, mainly just because I’ve adored having DS. Definitely rather have more children than more holidays or a car.

You're thinking way too far ahead - you haven't even conceived number 2 yet!
Wait til 2 arrives and revisit then.

Go for it and try. You won't know if you don't try!

Don't be listening to the whole 'should only have two children bla bla'

My second child is almost one and I can't wait to start TTC #3 soon hopefully!! Good luck 🤞😃

Yeah, three is hard. When I had my third I realised that you should only have as many kids as you have hands.

Get to 2 first, 3 could be 2...

@Onebluefish

I don’t know why I want three, tbh, mainly just because I’ve adored having DS. Definitely rather have more children than more holidays or a car.

Would DS rather have more siblings that holidays?

If having more children means the ones you have will miss out on experiences, that's when you should stop IMO.

Good luck ttc #2
Honestly, at 43/44, I would think it possible but unlikely to conceive again

I wouldn’t say you’ve no chance though. I see lots of mums at school having babies at that age. Of course I don’t know their history though

I have three, I had my children at 42, 43 and 45. All conceived naturally and ironically no.1 took a year to conceive, 2 and 3 were conceived the first month. I had good pregnancies and births. It is possible.

However, I would say have a second child first and then see how you feel. You’re exactly the same age as I was (42) when I conceived my second who was born when I was 43. Because of age if you do decide to try for a third you will have to do so wishing a year or 18 months of having your second. At 45 I had a newborn, 2 year old and 3 year old and it was hard! I think it would be hard whatever age you are! I don’t have any family help so if you do that would make a huge difference.

I have found there is a huge difference between having 2 and 3 small children. Even simple tasks like a trip around sainsbury is harder with three small children. Soft play when you have 3 small children is a work out! 😀

Have two first....Good luck!

All you can do is try and see.
Just think through if you are willing and able to handle all possibilities with ttc older.

I'm 42 ttc no3
Lost my 4th pregnancy last June
Hoping for baby no 3 soon 🔜

@TheVolturi

Yeah, three is hard. When I had my third I realised that you should only have as many kids as you have hands.

That's four then, between me and DH, so we're one down!

The point about not only having 3 children, but 3 young children is a good point.

Are the things you enjoy about having a baby now, things that would be possible if you had 2 other very young children around needing feeding, entertaining a naps etc.

Honestly though I’m sure once you have 2 you’ll have a better ideas of the challenges to judge if you want a third or not.