Fed up of running around like a blue-arsed fly!!

[sunshinelover69]

Genuinely don't know if I'm being unreasonable here as I haven't had Covid and I don't know how it feels. Husband is on day 10 of Covid, think it's Omicron - flu-like symptoms. I know he feels crap and it's utterly rubbish. Have been running around after him getting drinks/food/keeping the house clean and tidy/doing the washing etc etc whilst working full time (from home) in a busy job. I started from a base that he would not be doing anything to help out. But on day 10 it's starting to get to me as I'm bloody knackered and feel like checking into a hotel and leaving him to it! When I ask him if he's up to doing something minor (eg emptying dishwasher) he will put on his poorly face and do it but I can see he's not happy. Am I being mean or is he doing the whole man flu thing and milking it? He's not bedridden , but he's been sleeping til late morning. Don't begrudge him getting better obviously but Jesus Christ I need a bloody break! I can't help thinking that if it was me with Covid I'd still have to crack on and keep the house running. Happy to be told I'm being a bitch if that's the case...

Ohhhhh fuck me. He says he's breathless now. I can't fucking cope any more. I'm going on a MN spa break this weekend, fuck him.

I'm on day 10 and until yesterday felt absolutely shattered. Now I'm fine and catching up with stuff, logged on remotely for work meetings etc.Everyone reacts differently. Just let the housework go and stop running around...who are you doing it for? Does it all need doing immediately or can some of it wait?

I felt like absolute death until day 20. I genuinely couldn't do much and when I did, even small things, it was exhausting. I didn't have any obvious breathing difficulties-the visible symptoms were like those of a heavy cold-but man was I exhausted and light headed. And just a weird feeling of inertia on top. It might well be that he does genuinely feel terrible?

Just seen it's just you two? Is there really that much to do for two adults, one iof whom is ill, that you feel exhausted by it? I don't get it? Just order takeout, or get microwave dinners or whatever. There can't be much more laundry and mess being generated now that one of you is sick?

If he's immune suppressed surely you are being a bit harsh?

@scooterbear

Just seen it's just you two? Is there really that much to do for two adults, one iof whom is ill, that you feel exhausted by it? I don't get it? Just order takeout, or get microwave dinners or whatever. There can't be much more laundry and mess being generated now that one of you is sick?

I don't like eating shite, it's not healthy. And there's still washing to do. Cleaner couldn't come because of the covid so I did the previous week's cleaning (I know....woe is me...) I have high standards. But mainly it's the moping around and having to deliver coffee every half hour whilst trying to work and attend meetings. I've had enough.

Covid fatigue can be absolutely overwhelming, utterly crushing and long lasting. It's cery variable as to how it affects people. It's incredibly difficult if young children pr other caring responsibilities are in the mix, but two adults don't generate that much mess and dirt. It's easy to cut corners and let things slide a bit during a period of illness. I've been incapacitated a few times by ill health - remembering for example having hyperemesis, remembering how ill I got with covid - and imagining if my dh was anything less than supportive and understanding, it would be awful.

Is there really that much extra to do by feeding him and fetching a few drinks? As presumably you’re preparing food for yourself anyway. Let the housework slide a bit if it’s too much for one person to do. It sounds like I’m going against the grain a bit but if he’s ill he’s ill.

I'M BLOODY WORKING FULL TIME!!! I resent the assumption that because I'm WFH I can run round after him all day. I might take myself into the office if I can book a desk.

Your high standards are your issue OP.

But how much extra are you actually having to do? I work from home too. I make my lunch, it would be no extra work to make it for 2. I make a cup of tea or coffee 2-3 times a day. Again, no extra time involved in making 2 cups. Cleaning, well there’s only 2 adults, how much mess are you really making that you can’t just do the bare minimum for a couple of weeks?

Why do you think if you had Covid you'd have to keep the house running? Would he refuse to look after you if the situation was reversed? Would he expect you to cook/clean etc if you were ill? I can understand resentment if that's the case.

Do you have an oximeter? To be honest I did still feel terrible on day 10. But I went back to work (from home) full time on day 7 and was also looking after 2 young DCs (ill with covid, isolating) and DH (ill, immunocompromised). I really struggled though and if I'd had a choice I would have rested more. More than a month later I still have symptoms. With an oximeter it was very clear to see when I truly got better - oxygen was consistently 95-96 until well after day 10. I felt much better when it went up to 98-99.

Well say no to making drinks if your busy with work then.

If you don’t want to let things slip that’s your choice not his fault he is Ill though.

There are steps you could take to keep things simple but then you couldn’t complain you have decided not to.

Oh and no housework got done for the two weeks we were all ill. It was hard catching up afterwards but something has to give!

@sunshinelover69

Ohhhhh fuck me. He says he's breathless now. I can't fucking cope any more. I'm going on a MN spa break this weekend, fuck him.

Well hopefully for his sake he has a family member who can help him if you do.

As its just the 2 of you can you simply lower your standards? Pre dd i definitely didnt run myself ragged with housework as its children that generate soo much extra mess and laundry. Eg I have to clean my kitchen floor pretty much daily now but pre dd definitely not.
Covid can be very miserable, are you sure he is putting it on about being breathless as that sounds very concerning?

I don’t believe he’s so ill he can’t make himself a coffee. Frankly if he is you should probably call the doctor.

Having very high standards is fine but that’s on you.

Am a bit confused now as half of you say he's malingering and the other half say I'm being mean. Of course I'm not going on a spa weekend though, was just letting off steam.

Well it could be either! Covid is really unpredictable. I was wiped out for nearly three weeks with it but some people breeze through. If he has the kind of fatigue I experienced then, yes, unloading the dishwasher will feel like climbing a mountain. But maybe he's just enjoying being waited on - no one here can really tell you!

Just only do what you can manage. Stop doing everything super speedy. If he has to wait for a drink, or his next meal, he'll either feel well enough to help or he'll feel ill enough to wait. Don't do the extras, just scale back a bit.