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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To enter my autistic son into child modelling

21 replies

irisetta · 19/01/2022 01:17

Disclaimer - he's 7, he is on the autism spectrum, he has a 1-1 to assist him at school, but he's bright and very switched on. My question is this - should I pursue the interest that a couple of agencies have shown in him? He's so photogenic, I gave into my curiosity and sent a couple of pics off to a top UK child modelling agency. They are interested, and have asked me to take 10 more pics for a portfolio. Same with agency 2.

He LOVES to pose for the camera, and he loves to be on a stage. My brothers did child modelling at his age (I wasn't considered pretty enough, sadly!) It made them a bit of money that my parents put straight into a savings account for their future, was a win for all involved. AIBU to think that could do this for my kid? Autism is not a disability.

OP posts:
GrimDamnFanjo · 19/01/2022 01:20

Would he enjoy it?

2YearsOfWastedTime · 19/01/2022 01:26

If he wanted to and would enjoy it then why not?
What has his autism got to do with it

StopStartStop · 19/01/2022 01:27

As long as the clothes don't have itchy labels, he'll be fine.

Let it be his choice though, not yours. Don't make him think he has to.

One of the 'things' about autism is to accept that it is a disability. Somewhere, he'll need support, and denying the disability might mean he doesn't get it. If he's getting 1-1 at school a) you're doing well and b) there will be reasons for that.

WiddlinDiddlin · 19/01/2022 01:33

I'd think pretty hard about this..

It's likely to involve going to new places, taking instruction from strangers, being with new people, doing as he is told straight away, putting on strange clothes/taking them off again/putting on more strange clothes, looking happy when he is bored, tired, sad, stressed...

Whilst everyone with autism is different, these are not skills I associate with myself or any of my autistic friends.

Be honest with him about what it might entail, ask if he wants to try it, but really don't up-sell it, it could be hard work and very disappointing - if he does say he wants to give it a go, you need to be 100% willing to hear 'no I don't want to' and stop the moment he says that.

Original poster
irisetta · 19/01/2022 01:33

I'm worried about him possibly getting overwhelmed with photographers/expectations etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
irisetta · 19/01/2022 01:37

I see autism as a difference, NOT a disability. That being said, to follow a mainstream curriculum, yes he needs a 1-1 to help him, because the way he learns is different to neurotypical children.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 19/01/2022 01:38

It can't hurt to try, surely.

Original poster
irisetta · 19/01/2022 01:39

@WiddlinDiddlin

I'd think pretty hard about this..

It's likely to involve going to new places, taking instruction from strangers, being with new people, doing as he is told straight away, putting on strange clothes/taking them off again/putting on more strange clothes, looking happy when he is bored, tired, sad, stressed...

Whilst everyone with autism is different, these are not skills I associate with myself or any of my autistic friends.

Be honest with him about what it might entail, ask if he wants to try it, but really don't up-sell it, it could be hard work and very disappointing - if he does say he wants to give it a go, you need to be 100% willing to hear 'no I don't want to' and stop the moment he says that.

Thank you! Yes I am wondering about these things. I'd never ever push it. Thank you again.
OP posts:
Original poster
irisetta · 19/01/2022 01:41

@GrimDamnFanjo

Would he enjoy it?
He would! At first at least.
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MyDcAreMarvel · 19/01/2022 01:42

@irisettay My dd has asd and models it’s been fantastic for her confidence. However the portfolio rings alarm bells as children don’t have portfolios. What agencies are they? Just don’t want you to be scammed.

Original poster
irisetta · 19/01/2022 01:44

Also yes, while he might seem to thrive on pictures etc, what Widdlin says is very true - there is constant change and upheaval in modelling, and that's hard enough for adult NTs to deal with, let alone my 7 year old son. Thanks people, my mind is made up. No child modelling. X

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Original poster
irisetta · 19/01/2022 01:46

[quote MyDcAreMarvel]@irisettay My dd has asd and models it’s been fantastic for her confidence. However the portfolio rings alarm bells as children don’t have portfolios. What agencies are they? Just don’t want you to be scammed.[/quote]
Interesting! May I DM you?

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pinkoneblueone · 19/01/2022 01:47

As a photographer, someone who frequently photographs autistic children, wife of an autistic man I would take them to a photographer for a tester session first, if your child struggles to cope then it's a bad idea. I find most autistic children need more time and want to do what they want to do, which is absolutely fine for what I do because there are no set rules with what I do. I would let your photographer know your plans and have your child take different outfits and have the photographer instruct them on what to do, see how well it goes. There is such a vast difference in levels of autism it's a difficult one to call.

pinkoneblueone · 19/01/2022 01:48

Should have proof read and edited my comment as there is way too much repetition 🤦‍♀️ I have been editing for about 8hrs in my defence

pinkoneblueone · 19/01/2022 01:50

Also agree with @MyDcAreMarvel

Original poster
irisetta · 19/01/2022 01:54

@pinkoneblueone

As a photographer, someone who frequently photographs autistic children, wife of an autistic man I would take them to a photographer for a tester session first, if your child struggles to cope then it's a bad idea. I find most autistic children need more time and want to do what they want to do, which is absolutely fine for what I do because there are no set rules with what I do. I would let your photographer know your plans and have your child take different outfits and have the photographer instruct them on what to do, see how well it goes. There is such a vast difference in levels of autism it's a difficult one to call.
Thanks pink! So, he's fine by himself. He will pose, smile, frown, whatever. If there is anyone else in the frame, he can't manage itas well. Especially if it's another kid! He's what used to be known as "Aspergers" or "high functioning autism". Labels are rubbish.
OP posts:
MyDcAreMarvel · 19/01/2022 01:57

Yes feel free to pm.

MyDcAreMarvel · 19/01/2022 02:15

@irisetta this is the Facebook group .

To enter my autistic son into child modelling
Summerfun54321 · 19/01/2022 02:17

School age children have so little wind down and recreation time, I wouldn’t put my child to work on top of that unless I was desperate for the money. Professional modelling is work.

Wildrobin · 19/01/2022 02:23

If you’re keen to try I would talk honestly to the agencies . But be really wary of any that ask money from you as there are so many fake ones that make a lot of money out of parents .
I modelled for a clothes company once as a child and was very awkward and shy- at least it sounds as if your DS would be more comfortable with it!

LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 19/01/2022 03:20

Any sensory issues with clothes? Does he cope with transitions and new places well? Bright lights? Lots of people? Two of my Autistic DC would struggle with all these, ones the same age, the other a year older. They also really really need that downtime after school and on weekends to continue coping with school. Neither have support at school, they're ok at school, it's the outside world they struggle more with. My youngest, also Autistic, loves people and cameras, much more outgoing, but I think he'd struggle having this on top of school.

The labels are rubbish, I'd think more in terms of breaking the situation down into its component parts, you'd know best if he might be able to cope with what's required. Even if they could cope the biggest thing for me would be would this effect his ability to cope at school? Would he struggle with emotional regulation at school and at home with more being required of him outside school? For one of my boys in particular we have to balance everything so carefully or he can't cope at all and that has big repercussions for all of us.

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