To consider quitting my job in these circumstances?

[Sofiegiraffe]

I've recently returned to work from maternity leave (3 weeks ago). My sector was heavily affected by covid and it has wreaked havoc across the service and the team in the time I've been off. It's utter chaos and morale is very low. I'm struggling to adjust to balancing work and my home life now that I have a baby, and on top of that working in such chaos and trying to bring myself up to speed with it all. I cry on my commutes to and from work - some of this is probably normal with it being the first time I've properly had to leave my baby but at the same time I wonder if my emotions about it are excessive sometimes. Thing is, without my job our household would lose a 47k salary. In 3 years time I'm due to receive a pay increase to 53k. That's a lot of money to just throw away to become a SAHM, but I'm honestly tempted with how I fee right now. I hate leaving my baby, and I'm struggling to find the passion I once had for my career. I've worked and studied (gaining several professional qualifications/ degrees) my whole life to establish my career and build it to where I am now. But I feel like I could walk and just not even look back.

Would I be crazy to do this?

Is it possible to ask for fewer days/hours? And go part time.

Could you manage without your salary is the obvious question? That aside, the first few weeks were always going to be tough so maybe see how it goes and re-evaluate in a month. If you still hate it and can afford to be a SAHM then maybe go for it. Personally, I think it wouldn’t be the best idea as you may find it difficult to re-enter the workforce. Maybe going to 2 or 3 days a week would help.

Returning to work is a very emotional time. And the covid situation is making it harder. I would give it a bit more time and also consider part time or look for a new job.

I’d also think about your long term goals. Do you want another child?? Do you own a house and if not do you want to? It’s not just the salary, there’s also the pension benefits.

How easy will it be for you to return to the workforce in a few years if you take time out now.

And as a parent of older children I would say that there is a lot of focus on being there when they are little but my experience is that they need you just as much when they are older, if not more. When they are toddlers they are generally happy being cared for by any qualified person during the working day and being with their parents in the evening and on weekends. When they are older and want someone to be at the school nativity or to help them with friendship issues it has to be you. So putting in the effort to your career now so that you have greater flexibility when they are older is not something you should ignore.

It's only been 3 weeks. It's normal that it feels crap.

It took me longer than that to adjust to being back at work after being off sick for a few months - and that was a simpler adjustment process than you're facing (but still featured distress).

I think it's too soon. You need to give yourself chance to adjust and to explore any less drastic changes first.

If in six months there has been no way to bring about any improvement then consider your options.

When I worked full time I felt I was not doing either jobs..mum or work..properly. if possible reduce to 3 days and see how you go?

I think you need to give yourself 6m to readjust the same as you would with a new job (3dc and still working here, though PT).

You can ask for reduced hours. If it's a case of a poor employer maybe start applying for other jobs in a couple of months.

If you had enhanced maternity pay it's likely that you'd have to repay it if you leave too quickly (though you could probably go off on the sick - not a great look if thinking of going back to work later on)

Its only been 3 weeks.

Its really tough going back to work after mat leave under any circumstances. For me, both times, it took me 3 months to get up to speed, not stressed, happy.

You need to give it some time. The other option is to ask to reduce your hours to see if that helps.

Whatever I think you'd be making a mistake to make a hasty decision whilst you are still readjusting. If you still hate in 3 months that would be different.

But its only been 3 weeks.

It will get better.

Honestly? Yes you would be mad to quit your job in those circumstances. You are in the worst phase right now, give it a couple of months and you will get back into it. You're adjusting to a new reality, it's quite literally blue Monday at the moment, you have had ages out of the environment, struggling is totally normal. But don't throw away your career, your pride and everything you've worked for because you're having a bad couple of weeks

I think many women struggle with returning to work - I certainly did, but I was the higher earner, so I had no choice.

Upon returning, I found the commute tiring, Work took longer because I was out of practice and I missed my baby.

It did get easier as time went on. It's only been 3 weeks, so give yourself time. I think it can take 6+ months to get back into the swing of it. Don't forget, you've had 9 months of pregnancy plus up to a years maternity leave - so that's nearly 2 years of big change. Be gentle with yourself.

The one benefit of keeping my career going is that I'm more senior so I can work more flexibly. Covid aside, if I were more junior, I would be expected to be in the office more regularly, but my job means I can work from home more frequently. I've found that my children need me more now that they are older (key stage 2 and secondary) and I'm glad I can be around for the more.

Would it be possible to request flexible working? It was a game changer for me to be allowed to work flexibly, as it meant I had more time with my children.

So sorry - wrong thread I’ve reported!

@DiscoGlitterBall

I’m not a tosser but will come across as such here. You ‘bring in’ £700 per month for 8 hours work - that’s £87.50 per hour after tax etc. I thought the going rate for cleaners is around £13 - so you’re not doing badly. I may change professions for that rate.

Give it up, don’t give it up. You’re both entitled and unreasonable. I wish I had the opportunity to have a car, new electrical appliances and clothes.

Pardon the pun but either go and earn more (and of course you’ll have to pay more against your debts - it’s not your money) or cut your cloth.

As someone else has said you’re creditors will come along soon and the matter will be out of your hands (and it sounds as if you already have some form of debt arrangement)

Where was that supposed to be posted?!🤣

OP just to give you another perspective, I was a SAHM and really regret the financial aspect of that now. I have no savings and my kids have had to take maximum grants and work their way through Uni. We can't really go abroad, or anywhere much for hols, and right now I'm feeling awful about not being able to help DD's with anything towards house deposits etc...
I didn't have a proper career like you, but a thing would have given us more security now.
It's all so tough. Hope you can find a solution that works for you. X

It's only been 3 weeks and it's January, it's cold dark and miserable. Give it a few months more and then reevaluate. Could you maybe reduce your days?

Could you switch to consulting for the next couple of years? I did, v v part time but was then able to go back in at a higher level with the help of a good recruiter. Now kids are at school I'm so grateful I got that time with them. Plus I do school hours now which is good.

It does honestly get easier. What would make your home life easier? A cleaner? An au pair? Some help with cooking? It's early days, it's a huge adjustment and you are still dealing with all the mum hormones. It's a huge career to give up and youev worked so hard to get there, going back is always tough. Maybe reducing a day would help?