I Don’t Get Baby Sensory

[SlyAvocado]

And I’m not sure my baby does either

We spent twenty minutes thanking the sun for shining on us and the corn for feeding us, and everyone else seemed to know all the sign language.

I don’t actually like corn so I didn’t particularly want to thank it, but the other mums seemed to really be appreciative of the corn and the other things in the song. The only sign I got to grips with was waving.

My baby didn’t give a toss anyway and spent most of the class staring at a bottle of hand sanitiser.

Then we waved some scarves over our baby’s faces, while the instructor danced around blowing bubbles to ‘Morning Has Broken’

My morning was broken at 4am anyway by my crap sleeper of a baby, 10am is practically afternoon for us.

I am new to the area so I tried to be jolly and talk to the other mums but they weren’t interested, I don’t know if it’s because I didn’t thank the corn.

I wore my Tears For Fears t-shirt with a sequinned blazer which might have been an odd choice but I thought, sequins are sensory aren’t they? The instructor asked if I was off to an 80’s party and I said no, I’m on my way back from one.

We will finish the course because I paid £65, so it’ll be like that time I got drunk and signed up to Zumba classes and made myself keep going even though I hated every minute of it and was rubbish and was asked to stand at the back by the fire exit.

Is there something I’m missing, are all baby sensory classes like that? Do I need to learn all the sign language?

I’m not overly bothered from a friendship point of view because we go to a music class too in a different area which is held in a pub and the parents are really friendly at that one. The baby also loves to shake a maraca like Bez, so I think he prefers it too.

It's hideous! I agree OP

@SlyAvocado

Oh please tell me more about the one called Bongalong!! It sounds great!!

I’ve said it further back in the thread but I’ll say it again- I did really think Baby Sensory would be fibre optic lights, lava lamps and shimmery fabrics hanging up. You know- things that I can’t create at home! And preferably coffee.

But it’s just like the Baby Club on CBeebies- does anyone watch that? Where the say HEL-LO in a sing song and sit in a circle and have a cloth bag with random objects in like a fish slice.

Ours had all of those in different weeks, except coffee. I quite enjoyed it. Yes, it's a bit pretentious and it's mostly for the mums, but it's fairly harmless really!

Ha, you made me laugh. Yes I've been to that exact baby sensory class (with DC1) and hated it; I had many of the same thoughts except probably more grumpy and less witty

I hated the class so much that I managed to get a pro rata refund for the rest of the term by lying about having to change my work days

Some baby groups are ok, friendly people and a decent excuse to get out of the house. Others are just excruciating cringe worthy.

By the way, if you were hoping for a similar experience to the center parcs one, look up your local children's centre and see what activities they're doing. My local one had a baby group and once a month they did a sensory session with the kind of set up you describe. It was nice. Some slightly awkwardness at the end (a few songs and the person couldn't sing ) but bearable. And free!

I found Baby Sensory really weird, with the sun and the fecking corn. My baby LOVED Rhythm Time tho. He too liked to shake a maraca like Bez

*excruciatingly

I also found baby signing classes a bit better. There are a few different franchises. We did Sing and Sign... I forget the other one.

This totally made me chuckle! Great description of Baby Sensory. We go to this class every week big it's definitely more for me than my 6 month old daughter. I find mums at Baby Sensory classes in particular, are very closed off and don't really tend to chat but I don't go to make friends. I go merely to make my daughter tired!

Agree with PP, Hartbeeps is a real mind trip. Really didn't enjoy the random songs!

I’m saying that they need to be a exposed to activities like this. Mothers who don’t get it should change their mindset

Middle class overpriced performative parenting mumbo jumbo - you've been had

@Hmm1234

Sounds like you went to hippy yoga. Baby sensory classes are great and you should as a mother understand how they stimulate your child and help with development

You sound like a bellend

Haha I'm loving the sanctimonious posts trying to pass baby sensory off as providing as an incredible contribution to cognitive development. Yes, these £12 a session baby classes are really make or break for your child's neural welfare! Lolz
OP Bongalong is a local music group where I am where they bring loads of instruments from around the world and do songs and dancing.

Used to go to a great singing group in a local village hall. The lady running it was a really lovely 'hippy' type (for want of a better word) At the end she used to sing Leaving on a Jet Plane & play her guitar. It used to make me cry every week, hormonal mess that I was back then!
No Baby Sensory in those days, I think I'm very glad!
Oh & Tears for Fears are amazing!

I am a nanny I go to one of these classes. I just find it weird I keep smiling for no reason it feels like I am in a weird cult .
No one seems to talk it just seems unnatural , not like other classes I go to,

I just like anything with singing. Wind the Bobbin Up is an absolute banger, as is Sleeping Bunnies.

Mine absolutely loved it!

I did a similar class also sang the corn song.
We had to leave once my baby started to crawl as he preferred the church hall plug sockets to the scarfs and sensory stuff 🤷‍♀️

@SlyAvocado

And I’m not sure my baby does either

We spent twenty minutes thanking the sun for shining on us and the corn for feeding us, and everyone else seemed to know all the sign language.

I don’t actually like corn so I didn’t particularly want to thank it, but the other mums seemed to really be appreciative of the corn and the other things in the song. The only sign I got to grips with was waving.

My baby didn’t give a toss anyway and spent most of the class staring at a bottle of hand sanitiser.

Then we waved some scarves over our baby’s faces, while the instructor danced around blowing bubbles to ‘Morning Has Broken’

My morning was broken at 4am anyway by my crap sleeper of a baby, 10am is practically afternoon for us.

I am new to the area so I tried to be jolly and talk to the other mums but they weren’t interested, I don’t know if it’s because I didn’t thank the corn.

I wore my Tears For Fears t-shirt with a sequinned blazer which might have been an odd choice but I thought, sequins are sensory aren’t they? The instructor asked if I was off to an 80’s party and I said no, I’m on my way back from one.

We will finish the course because I paid £65, so it’ll be like that time I got drunk and signed up to Zumba classes and made myself keep going even though I hated every minute of it and was rubbish and was asked to stand at the back by the fire exit.

Is there something I’m missing, are all baby sensory classes like that? Do I need to learn all the sign language?

I’m not overly bothered from a friendship point of view because we go to a music class too in a different area which is held in a pub and the parents are really friendly at that one. The baby also loves to shake a maraca like Bez, so I think he prefers it too.

Omg! I love this! This could be me writing!

Are you a Sister from another Mister? A Brother from another Mother!?

Definitely separated at birth! 😂

Reminds me of signing up to a term baby yoga. I expected it was a yoga class could bring baby to. Turned up to find it was the babies who did the yoga !!! of course my child was asleep so I was given a doll to practice on.
As I had paid I tried it few times but as my child was almost always asleep after walk to center I just cut my losses.

@SlyAvocado

And I’m not sure my baby does either

We spent twenty minutes thanking the sun for shining on us and the corn for feeding us, and everyone else seemed to know all the sign language.

I don’t actually like corn so I didn’t particularly want to thank it, but the other mums seemed to really be appreciative of the corn and the other things in the song. The only sign I got to grips with was waving.

My baby didn’t give a toss anyway and spent most of the class staring at a bottle of hand sanitiser.

Then we waved some scarves over our baby’s faces, while the instructor danced around blowing bubbles to ‘Morning Has Broken’

My morning was broken at 4am anyway by my crap sleeper of a baby, 10am is practically afternoon for us.

I am new to the area so I tried to be jolly and talk to the other mums but they weren’t interested, I don’t know if it’s because I didn’t thank the corn.

I wore my Tears For Fears t-shirt with a sequinned blazer which might have been an odd choice but I thought, sequins are sensory aren’t they? The instructor asked if I was off to an 80’s party and I said no, I’m on my way back from one.

We will finish the course because I paid £65, so it’ll be like that time I got drunk and signed up to Zumba classes and made myself keep going even though I hated every minute of it and was rubbish and was asked to stand at the back by the fire exit.

Is there something I’m missing, are all baby sensory classes like that? Do I need to learn all the sign language?

I’m not overly bothered from a friendship point of view because we go to a music class too in a different area which is held in a pub and the parents are really friendly at that one. The baby also loves to shake a maraca like Bez, so I think he prefers it too.

God I wish you were my best friend. You are amazing.

I guess you’ve just found that you’re too cool for baby sensory...

@HardbackWriter

I don’t actually like corn so I didn’t particularly want to thank it, but the other mums seemed to really be appreciative of the corn and the other things in the song.

Or they were just trying to join in and be enthusiastic...? I also hated baby sensory and your writing is brilliant, OP, but there is such a whiff of superiority to your post. It's all a bit 'I'm not like other girls'...

This.

Go, or don't go. Wear what you like. But it's just a baby class. Doesn't really matter if you turn up in a onesie or a band tshirt. It's just to get parents and carers out of the house. Stimulate the baby a bit and it's something to do. Obviously you prefer the pub place so just go there. You sound a bit judgy tbh.

@mswales

Haha I'm loving the sanctimonious posts trying to pass baby sensory off as providing as an incredible contribution to cognitive development. Yes, these £12 a session baby classes are really make or break for your child's neural welfare! Lolz OP Bongalong is a local music group where I am where they bring loads of instruments from around the world and do songs and dancing.

Bongalong....lol I can think of a better way to sit around and chill out

OMG baby sensory and Hartbeeps are busy here but bloody hell not for me. Massively overstimulating, overcrowded, loud classes. Both my babies hated them (and yes, I tried both kids in case it was their personality that made them hate the class)

I really hate those classes where they shove so many people in the room the teacher is miles away and doesn’t know your baby’s name. My Children’s centre had the loveliest little stay and play sadly no longer running thanks to cuts

Both my kids swim and started as early as I could and also did 2 years of Sing and Sign classes which was amazing.

😂😂😂 I love the way you wrote that post! So funny! My kids are older now but I still remember dragging my baby to loads of different ‘classes’! Baby’s not gonna remember any of it so if you don’t ‘get’ it I be really wouldn’t worry! Just see it as some chill out time

I came on here to say ‘what is wrong with you?!’ as the only baby sensory I have experience of was the quiet room at the playgroup I used to take my baby to, which was dark and soft with fairy lights and stars projected on the ceiling, and in which I could lie down on the floor and do absolutely fuck all for five minutes . I’ve not been to the other kind. I am a massive hippy with a gardening habit and do spend a lot of time feeling thankful about corn and growing things in general, but I have no desire to express it in song to an audience of my peers and some very small humans who are still surprised by their own farts.