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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think that NOBODY should get a dog EVER without my express permission?

120 replies

BroccoliSpears · 27/12/2007 13:18

You could apply to me in writing and I'd assess you and my decision would be final.

People who wouldn't get dogs include

  • People who work and plan to leave the dog shut in.
  • People who don't really like dogs but think it would be nice for the kids.
  • People who have never had a dog before (unless they're prepared to undertake a dog course).

Okay, perhaps I'm being a teensy weensy bit unreasonable, but I find it so depressing how casually people get dogs and then get rid of them.

In the last week I've been told two very similar stories from unrelated people about how they got a dog but it was "a disaster" because he just chewed things and weed in the house and wrecked the carpet and wouldn't do as he's told and in they end they had to give him to the rescue centre because he was no good. There is no taboo about cheerfully chucking a dog on the scrap if you don't want it.

I utterly utterly adore my dog and wouldn't be without her, but when people I know (even friends) get That Look in their eye as they see dog and DD playing together, and wonder if they should get a dog I want to scream "NOOOOO". I want to rant that yes, my dog is well behaved and doesn't chew stuff and walks nicely next to the pushchair and adores DD and is a joyous addition to out family, but how do you think she got like that???? It wasn't a fluke. I thought very carefully about what breed, what age and what sex dog would suit our family. I worked really hard with her to ensure that she was well behaved and well socialised with other dogs and people. Plus, I love dogs. To me it will never really be a chore to pick up poo in the garden or take her to the park in the rain, any more than it's a chore to feed and bath DD at the end of a long tireing day.

But if I said all that I'd be patronising and ranting and would eventually lose all my friends and have to become a crazy cat lady or something.

I just wish that people had a more realistic idea of what having a dog was like before they went tripping off to get one. They can be wonderful, wonderful pets if you know what you're letting yourself in for.

And I wish that getting a dog was understood as a commitment to that animals's wellfair for the rest of its life, however inconvenient that may be to you.

OP posts:
Reallytired · 27/12/2007 15:18

Is having a pet dog a right or a privilage?

Surely owners of dogs should be able to meet their responsiblites, whether in terms of time or financial. Potential owners need to think about the financial commitments they have already. For example someone with a very high mortgage or high childcare costs, or loans may not be able to afford a pet.

Its a sad fact of life that some people cannot afford animals. It is cruel to take on a pet if you are not prepared for the cost.

FlllightAttendant · 27/12/2007 15:21

I think it is a bit like getting a boyfriend/husband...you start off thinking how great it would be, then realise they come with their own little foibles and are actually quite hard work!!!

You have to kind of look at it in the most negative lighy possible, and then be pleasantly surprised at the nice bits

kerala · 27/12/2007 15:30

YANBU

Wish you had banned our neighbours. We have had huge problems with their dog leaping over our fence and crapping in our garden and their refusing to anything about it. Plus barking all the time. Plus its a scary staffordshire terrier. Then he was run over and killed because they didnt look after it properly.

NOW THEY HAVE JUST GOT ANOTHER ONE!! Despite not being allowed to keep a dog under their lease (like everyone that lives in our block). They have a one bedroom flat, a 4 year old, another on the way and they are not very bright. Oh and on benefits so cant afford vets bills. Grrrr pulls out own hair in frustration

Reallytired · 27/12/2007 16:50

Kerala,
You neighbours would be certainly be banned under my criteria. ie. Lack of space as well as lack of time and money.

Prehaps exceptionally stupid people should be banned from having pets.

I suppose at least it wasn't the four year old child who was run over.

MrsSpoon · 27/12/2007 16:59

Having a bit of a problem with number three on your list:-

"* People who have never had a dog before"

Being first time dog owners I find it quite surprising to meet with this prejudice from various sources. At times feeling that I have broken into a secret coven that I wasn't suppose to enter into because I've never had a dog before. I can't help that I've never had a dog before but as a family we are truely committed to making it work.

Quattrocento · 27/12/2007 17:01

I agree with you wholeheartedly BS. Thing is you are thinking on too small a scale.

You need to widen the scope of your thinking to include babies as well.

MrsCoulter · 27/12/2007 17:23

Totally agree.

Can you include people (my nextdoor neighbour) who buy a dog and then stand in the back garden for ages bellowing at the top of the voice "WOODY, WOODY, WOODY, SIT, NO WOODY" Grrrrrrrrrr.

TheDuchessOfNorksBride · 27/12/2007 17:57

MrsSpoon - I assumed that the OP only meant clueless first-time dog owners who have no interest in attending any training classes or providing regular exercise or chatting with a vet about food or nail clipping or microchips etc.

And sorry that you're suffering from the experienced dog-owners cliquey thing, it is rather boring when people get all clubby and possessive about this sort of thing.

Heathcliffscathy · 27/12/2007 17:59

broccoli what breed of dog do you own?

YANBU btw

Original poster
BroccoliSpears · 27/12/2007 19:28

Glad to see my motion has been declared Not Unreasonable. I shall petition Downing Street in the morning and hopefully be in sole charge of who is allowed to have a dog by the end of the week. I'll appoint my Cat, Rabbit, Pony and Parrot Monitors once I'm in office. Quattro, are you interested in being Baby Monitor?

Please note that there will be no predjudice against people on benefits. It's irresponsibility I have a problem with and wealth has little bearing on that.

Mrs Spoon - I can understand you feeling fed up with patronising "old school" dog owners leaving you out of the coven. I suggest you swap sides and become a cliquey, responsible, smug dog owner yourself. You seem to have the right idea regarding your dog. Your next step is to find someone to disapprove of.

Sophable - she's a gorgeous two-year-old black lab. Currently rather smelly and dozing on the second best sofa as she thinks I don't know what she's up to when I'm upstairs.

OP posts:
cheapslutonjunk · 27/12/2007 19:32

at thought of dog in my house. Can't see how anyone can be arsed to have one.

UnquietDad · 27/12/2007 19:45

I'd like to add "people whose dogs come and SNIFF round my children and bare their teeth, frightening the hell out of them."

In fact I'd just like to add "people with dogs".

Not A Dog Person.

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 27/12/2007 20:23

My neighbours who we don't really speak to are obviously out tonight and their dog has been barking for over an hour.

Would it be unreasonable if I put a note through their door or went round and mentioned it to them? Its bloody annoying, but I don;t want to start a neighbour war.

Oliveoil · 27/12/2007 20:27

I DETEST dogs

they ruin my days out at the park

and shit everywhere

Oliveoil · 27/12/2007 20:28

ditto cats

they shit in my garden

Original poster
BroccoliSpears · 27/12/2007 20:29

@ the dog haters.

I don't mind you lot half as much as I mind the people who think they love dogs but get it wrong.

OP posts:
Oliveoil · 27/12/2007 20:32

we used to have a dog, annoying thing

my mum and sister sorted him out

and the cat(s)

I think you either ARE a pet person or completely NOT

I am in the NOT camp

although I do like the look of a chocolate lab

lazawreath · 27/12/2007 20:33

I couldnt give two tits who has a dog as long as they clean up it's shit from the pavement. Dirty feckers-the owners that is

soopermum1 · 27/12/2007 20:35

im lazy, don't like going for walks in the cold,wind,rain etc. that's why i have 2 cats, they're lazy too, we're a perfect match

one cat is a bit psycho with everyone but me, the other is a bit aloof but seems to love DS and is very gentle with him. sleeps on his bed cuddled up, every night in winter, v. cute, not sure how hygeinic my mum would have a fit if she knew.

DS is very good with animals, knows to be gentle, got scratched a few times when younger but seems to have got the hang of it all now. similarly good with dogs, knows to be friendly but respectful.

i think it's good for kids to have pets but only if it benefits the whole household and the animal itself.

don't see the point in other pets, rabbits, guinea pigs, lizards etc, don't give love and affection from what i can see

carmenelectra · 27/12/2007 20:44

i can never understand people who dont like dogs. I think dogs (and all animals really) are like kids! i think if you love dogs and kids you are a nice person .

Dogs are no more trouble than kids, no way. In fact my dog is a bloody nuisance, but i love him.

cheapslutonjunk · 27/12/2007 21:20

I hate dogs.

And people who can't see why I hate them too

Horrible black-gummed, drooling, jumpy-up when excited, barky, growly, whiney, waggy things.

Reallytired · 27/12/2007 21:26

Lol... bad people are those who are cruel to animals. Particularly people who follow a whim without thinking if they can provide for the needs of the animal.

If having no dogs makes me a bad person, then so be it.

I would not want a stinky dog locked up in my house all day on its own. I also like going abroad and I think it would be mean to be forever putting a dog in kennels.

carmenelectra · 27/12/2007 21:29

cheapslut, you are joking arent you??!! How can you hate them???!!

I lurve all animals so much. Cant imagine not liking them or having no pets. Think it depemds whether you have been used to them as kids though

cheapslutonjunk · 27/12/2007 21:33

Easily. They're smelly, barky, messy things and if I want to pick shit up, I'll have more children.

carmenelectra · 27/12/2007 21:35

they aint no worse than kids, trust me