Can’t face seeing my anti vax friend. AIBU

[IloveConkers]

For background she is a very old friend who lives in another country. We went through a lot together. Lived together in the past. I haven’t seen her for two years and she now wants to visit. She is a passionate anitivaxxer. I have a vulnerable family member. I have a massive problem with the fact she spreads misinformation on a daily basis on social media from dubious sources. I feel like I can’t face seeing her. AIBU?

YANBU. I cannot count anyone who doesn't share the same basic values as me as close friends. That extends beyond vaccinations though - as in, same-sex marriage, abortion rights etc etc

Yes there's nothing more off putting than someone constantly wittering on about it and it clearly consuming their lives so YANBU OP.

We have the opposite problem with my FIL. He handed over DCs Christmas presents by putting them on the floor and walking away, akin to a hostage situation 😅 He's not vulnerable, he's triple jabbed and had had Covid recently and recovered. He literally thinks he's at some sort of massive risk of something from his unvaccinated son! It'd be funny if it wasn't so sad and pathetic. He has bought into the government and media bullshit propaganda just as much as an extreme antivaxxer conspiracy theorist has from their dubious sources.

I have no time for anyone from either end of the spectrum pushing their opinions.

I couldn't be friends with someone that stupid tbh. Leaving the risks aside.

If youremeeting outside fine i wouldnt invte her to my home if she goes on like that and you have vulnerable people there

I’m friends with people who haven’t chosen to get vaccinated (numerous reasons, some understandable).
But someone who is an evangelical anti vaxxer? Nope- not for me, we wouldn’t have anything in common.

@Tumbleweed101

On the basis everyone I know who has been vaxxed currently has covid I don't think it's worth falling out over. If vaccines worked 100% then might be different. This will pass and we will all need our friends then.

On the basis that every single person on intensive care in my local hospital's ICU is unvaccinated, I will continue to avoid associating with anti vaxxers. Anyone who can spread misinformation which can lead to making decisions which can potentially cause them so much harm is not someone I want in my life 🤷‍♀️

Esspee -- you're so kind! So amazingly positive. Thanks for maintaining my faith in what MNers are like.

I have a problem listening to bores. Whether it’s anti vaxer or anyone else who seems to think that their view is the only view. I have friends and a close family member I haven’t seen in over a year because of it. I CBA with their nonsense. I think vaccination is a personal choice, it doesn’t stop you catching or spreading covid - just hospitalisation.

I personally have no truck with those who won't have the vaccine ( allergies etc aside ) BUT it is everyone's choice.

What I think you could very reasonably ask her to do is do a LFT before she visits ( depends how long staying I suppose and what she does when with you maybe a 2nd one) If you have a vulnerable family member then I think it would be OK to say no - can't visit or the LFT depending on your level of comfort.

That's the practical advice -

other than that I just would not read her posts - I have a friend I really like but I switched off her posts - her opinions and that's fine - but I disagree so wasn't worth falling out over.

We all had covid very bad before the vaccine came out. It left several in hospital
. Two family died of with it and one did not have it at death, but it caused it and they had a horrendously slow painful death.
Several ended up with long covid. Which was awful and no one knew anything .

We are all vaccinated and non have took it since.

In a few homes we know where it has done the rounds, the vaccinated members have escaped it.

At the end of the day it is your choice. I am avoiding neighbours who are vocal anti vaxxers both on social media and to speak to. I have been ill lost loved ones and don't want to listen to them right now.

The abuse on social media to those vaccinated by the local anti vaxxers is unreal.

Only you know how you feel. Could you agree not to mention the sibject?

@BatshitBanshee

YANBU. I cannot count anyone who doesn't share the same basic values as me as close friends. That extends beyond vaccinations though - as in, same-sex marriage, abortion rights etc etc

FFS don't put anti-vaxxers in the same bracket as homosexuality or women who choose to have an abortion. Neither of those have any affect on the world around them. What a hateful post.

I think you should think about what your friendship is usually like. In 1-2 years when we are all getting on with our lives will you still want her in yours? Frankly I couldn’t care less who has and who hasn’t - both sides who go on and think they have the moral high ground turn me right off. I predict in 18 months we will all have no idea who has had 3rd,4th, 20th booster because we’ll be talking about something else. Personally I wouldn’t give up a good friendship if this is all it is. If you have a vulnerable relative you presumably have to be careful in non-covid times too.

@A580Hojas - I meant share my basic values as in, belief in same sex marriage and abortion rights are part of my basic values. As is belief in vaccinations.