AIBU to think Narc has become a very very overused 'diagnosis' on MN?

[NCforsafety]

Just that really. I was browsing earlier and saw three separate threads where people (I assume with no training on diagnosis of mental health disorders) are talking about others in their lives and describing them as Narcs.
Being selfish and self absorbed does not make you a narc - it just makes you a selfish and self absorbed person.

'Narcissistic personality disorder — one of several types of personality disorders — is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.'

'It’s common to label people considered self-centred or egotistical as a narcissist. But what exactly is narcissism? How common is narcissism? And how do we know when someone is living with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)?

Narcissism is more than a personality disorder. It is believed to be a healthy developmental process in childhood, which exists in people from normal to clinical levels.

Most, if not all, of us demonstrate narcissistic tendencies over time. However, NPD is relatively rare. The estimated prevalence of NPD in the community is around 1%, although some studies say up to 6%. The data on NPD is inconclusive about whether this diagnosis is more common in men than women.'

YABU - users of MN are able to diagnose this and it is more prevalent than medical experts would have us believe
YANBU - it's a massively overused term on MN

btw, not byw

(Love the username btw)

I did similar to you...

Arrgh! Flipping typo!

One in a hundred - that actually means it's likely that most of us will have known someone with NPD in our family/social/work circles, and quite possibly more than one (depending on our age). In addition, there are plenty of people with what's called a sub-clinical level - people who wouldn't tick quite enough of the boxes to get the full-blown diagnosis, but who still exhibit enough of the traits to be unpleasant/difficult to be around.

Also, I think it's better for people to be perhaps too hyper-vigilant for this condition (and consequently better able to protect themselves from people who might have it) than not aware or vigilant at all.

My late mother in law had a narcissistic personality and also had borderline personality disorder, both of which took a long time of seeing a specialist to diagnose properly and this was about 25 years ago when resources were slightly less stretched than they are now.
If you saw a list of traits she ticked every single box.
Many of the people who say that they know people who are ' narcs' often are not. It's a term that seems to be thrown about without any diagnoses or understanding of the condition.
Must be harder these days to get a proper diagnosis to be fair , easier for people to read a list and just say it's this or that.

Not unreasonable at all. Like it said in the quoted portion, ‘most, if not all, will display narcissistic behaviour at some point or another’ (to paraphrase), but there is a big difference between displaying narcissism sometimes, and NPD.

Sometimes an asshole is just an asshole, and you can just call them that. No need for any armchair diagnoses.

Whenever anyone describes someone they know as a narcissist, it makes me more sceptical about what they're saying.

I agree, a lot of posts on MN medicalise behaviours and thoughts are so much more black and white that real life.

@DrSbaitso

Whenever anyone describes someone they know as a narcissist, it makes me more sceptical about what they're saying.

Yup, as soon as they describe the person they are complaining about as a ‘narc’ I do a chinny reckon. Not getting on with someone doesn’t mean they have a clinical disorder - that is a narc way to think

So true.

So many posters splatter their comments with narc this or gaslight that, it's very tedious.

Especially given that so few seem to be aware of what NPD actually is. It is literally a personality disorder, not a chosen pattern of behaviour. And it is also a spectrum that we are all on.

I was speaking to my SIL who is a clinical psychologist about this.

Men are narcs and women have BPD is the general split in terms of armchair diagnosis. In reality both are rare and whilst some people might have narc/BPD traits they most likely don’t have it.

Agree, nobody can just be a run of the mill knobhead any more, there has to be a diagnosis.

I find 'anxiety' the most overused diagnosis in rl.

As a teacher, parents don't say their child is 'a bit nervous about the test' or 'worried about getting on stage.' It is always always always that they have 'anxiety'. I have parents saying things like 'my child is not doing the spelling test this week as he hasn't practised and it's exacerbating his anxiety.' What anxiety? Normal worries are not anxiety and your child needs to experience normal worries in order to learn how to appropriately respond to them. Otherwise he'll be collapsing into a haze of 'anxiety' every time he's ever asked to do something he doesn't want to do, forever.

@hangrylady

Agree, nobody can just be a run of the mill knobhead any more, there has to be a diagnosis.

So true.

It's trendy apparently these days to have some sort of disorder, especially BPD, so many tiktok videos of teenage girls saying they have whatever and thinking it's cool. If you actually have a personality disorder, you know that it's not cool or fun, it's horrible, it can ruin every aspect of your life, ruin relationships, ruin jobs, end friendships, result in a criminal record and so much more. It is an actual diagnosis given only by a qualified, certified doctor.

Just because someone is an asshole or just because your ex was a bit mean, doesn't mean they have a personality disorder, and you sound like a twat for calling people a narcissist, sociopath, psychopath..etc without having a clue what you're talking about.

Just say "this person is a cunt", at least that can be accurate and not an assumption.

Just say "this person is a cunt", at least that can be accurate and not an assumption.

Well, technically...

Similar to any label. Just say what they did instead.

@ComeOnSpringtime probably the best way to do it, people can then make their opinions.

I'd put money on most people on this site who call someone a narcissist or whatever other cluster B personality disorder name haven't actually got any idea of the conditions and have never met anyone with one, we don't generally go around advertising it

Yes, it is very noticeable, not just on Mumsnet. It's fashionable now to label people as narcissists.

These things have phases. Another one is body language experts, many of whom you find on you tube (who will in turn label people are narcissists).

There are few people who are completely narcissistic, many have some narc traits.

It seems a lot of people think that cheating on a partner and behaving selfishly makes someone a narcissist (because those traits are indicators but not sufficient to ascribe a diagnosis).
Just like there’s a general misunderstanding of the difference between empathy and sympathy.
It’s just easy to handy about terms while trying to gain an understanding of what happened to you in a given situation.
I do know a narcissist. And believe me - he’s not like anyone I’ve ever seen described asa “narc ex”

Bandy not handy 😳

It's very overused. My mother is an NPD in the truest sense and I really wouldn't wish being related to someone with this on anyone.

Anxiety is another overused term. True diagnosable anxiety is a completely different beast to feeling anxious.