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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave DS overnight

45 replies

Umbella · 17/01/2022 13:58

He’s 16 and pretty sensible. I’m away for the weekend and was going to take him with me but he’s asked to stay at home so that he can play in his Sunday league team.

What’s a sensible age to start leaving teens overnight?

OP posts:
grumpygiraffe · 17/01/2022 21:42

FFS he’s 16. If you don’t think he can be left alone for one weekend then you’ve failed as a parent.

Socialcarenope · 17/01/2022 22:20

Totally fine!

He could join the army or move out if he wanted to. I buggered off to Paris for 2 weeks at 16.

mumofEandE · 17/01/2022 22:26

The only thing I would worry about is that he'd have a party - my DD (16) went to a party last week. It turned out it the parents were away - the police ended up breaking it up.

Original poster
Umbella · 17/01/2022 22:28

Very much enjoying the range of responses on this thread Grin

Thank you for the helpful replies.

OP posts:
whiteroseredrose · 17/01/2022 22:50

Another yes from me.

We left both DS and DD home alone overnight at 16. My. DM lives 5 minutes away though.

Cheeseplantboots · 17/01/2022 23:20

I’ve left my 16 and 15 year old alone at night. They were fine. We have cctv on all the entrances and garden so we could keep an eye on them. They wouldn’t be brave enough to have a party 😂

QuizzicalEyebrows · 17/01/2022 23:25

Mine would definitely have a party but yes I could easily have left my DC from age 12 if I'd needed to.

What do you think is going to happen if you leave him alone. Nothing

TheCatShatInTheHat · 18/01/2022 00:15

God yes, left my DC alone for 5 nights at that age.

AlwaysLatte · 18/01/2022 00:38

Ooh tricky, mine is 14 and I can't imagine leaving him alone in just two years time but they do change so much, so maybe. Unless you think he's likely to throw a big party. It really comes down to their sensibility.

AlwaysLatte · 18/01/2022 00:40

FFS he’s 16. If you don’t think he can be left alone for one weekend then you’ve failed as a parent.
The OP is still weighing it up, like good parents do.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 18/01/2022 00:44

Why is it half of MN lived alone at 16? 😂

And Gosh, modern parents seem excessively cautious! 50+ years ago, my parents left me home alone for three days at 14, while they travelled to attend my grandfather’s funeral 300 miles away

What happened 50+ years ago (ie leaving a 14 year old home alone for 3 days while they were 300 miles away) would these days rightly trigger alarms

NoRaceInThisHorse · 18/01/2022 01:57

Why is it half of MN lived alone at 16?

And yet a 16 year can't sign a lease or enter contracts? (or at least these days!). I would imagine that a very, very small amount of 16 year olds have ever or do now live completely independently.

Karenetta · 18/01/2022 02:48

Well of course you can leave him. But he will have some kind of horrible teenage party. If you feel relaxed about that then fine. If not, off to family he goes.

NB I would not feel relaxed about it.

notyouagainn · 18/01/2022 03:46

@Babdoc

Gosh, modern parents seem excessively cautious! 50+ years ago, my parents left me home alone for three days at 14, while they travelled to attend my grandfather’s funeral 300 miles away. 17 years ago, I left DD aged 15 home alone for three days while I was in Prague. Admittedly I hadn’t planned to - the airport refused her boarding on a family passport - but she managed fine and even baked a cake for my return home. OP, your 16 year old is not a helpless toddler. Provided you have taught basic life skills, he’ll cope fine.
So she was supposed to go and you left her at the airport?
Original poster
Umbella · 18/01/2022 07:35

FFS he’s 16. If you don’t think he can be left alone for one weekend then you’ve failed as a parent.

This is a bit of a rough reply on a thread where people have kindly shared the reasons they wouldn’t leave their 16yo at home.

OP posts:
RedCandyApple · 18/01/2022 08:03

@NoRaceInThisHorse

Why is it half of MN lived alone at 16?

And yet a 16 year can't sign a lease or enter contracts? (or at least these days!). I would imagine that a very, very small amount of 16 year olds have ever or do now live completely independently.

I had a council house at 16 as my mum threw me out! Wasn’t my choice to leave, Wasn’t uncommon back in my day however it is now. My sister had a baby and moved out into a council house at 16.
sofakingcool · 18/01/2022 08:55

We left DS overnight for the first time aged 16 (almost 17). We stayed fairly local, it was a test as we needed to leave him for a couple of night and be much further away a few months later. He was absolutely fine, we are friends with our neighbours and told them he was home alone

use257 · 18/01/2022 11:27

I would say it's fine from 14 tbh

underneaththeash · 18/01/2022 11:32

It depends on the 16 year old!
My nearly 16 year old would be fine for a night. (A party from eating too much…)

bigbluebus · 18/01/2022 12:09

The 17 yo lad who lived across the road from us a few years ago was left on his own whilst hus mum went on holiday. He organised a party for a few of his college mates. Thanks to social media, word got out and about 50 youngsters turned up, many of whom he didn't know, and things got out of hand. The police were called.
So, OP I would say how likely is your DS to broadcast that he's home alone and how trustworthy are his mates?

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