AIBU to feel my girlfriend cheated on me?

[iwannabeadad]

I am a man and my girlfriend of 6 months, who claimed to be a straight woman, admitted today that she had been in love with a friend of ours who is a woman. I have known this woman and been friends with her longer than they have been friends. We met through this woman too. We all used to hangout together before we started our relationship. But after we started our relationship, my girlfriend has been insisiting that she spends time with this mutual friend of ours, alone. Which really got me wondering why and created certain clashes between us too. But only after 5 months, today she confessed to me that she was in love with this woman. (Before I started our relationship, I asked my girlfriend whether she had any feelings for this woman and she denied it and also claimed to be a straight woman)

The questions I would like help with answering are:

1. She has repeatedly been telling me that she is straight and even now she claims she is a straight woman. Can a straight woman be in love with another woman? (Am I stupid to ask this question or is my girlfriend a stupid/crafty woman?)

2. Only thing that really bothers me after she telling me this today is that, she insisting (From about 6 months ago, until recently) that she spends time alone with this woman, after we started our relationship (When we all could have hung out together like we used to before we started our relationship), and she having done so over my hurt feelings.

3. She only told me about this after that woman had stopped talking to her. And after I ended up talking to that woman a couple of days ago because of some other issue I had with my girlfriend. Do you think I should still trust my girlfriend after this? (She had previously been secretly talking to another guy she used to go out with before we got together, and told me about it, only after he stopped talking to her. To be fair to my girlfriend, there was nothing romantic/sexual involved in those internet based text chats, which she showed me when I asked for). She also claims that there was nothing romantic/sexual between she and this other woman too, during the time they spent together alone after she and I started our relationship.

4. She also has been refusing to answer her phone even for a second when one of her work friends is around, who also happens to be a female

5. My girlfriend also says I am her whole world and she would kill herself if I ever leave her. And says she was wrong to have kept this from me until now and that she would never keep any secrets from me hereafter and that I am all she needs. (and that she would do anything to prove it)

• I do not know what to do at this point. I care about her very much and I am very much in love with her. Even though our relationship is just 6 months long, we have spent at least over 8 hours a day in average together per day during that period of time, and also known each other for around 2 months before we started our relationship. So I could say this is a quite serious relatioship (at least it has been for me) and I am very close to her 10 year old kid too, who has started treating me like a dad. Am I being unreasonable to feel that my girlfriend cheated on me at some level and is not trustworthy anymore? What really bothers me is she insisiting that she spends time with that woman alone, after we had started our relationship. (and not having been honest about the feelings she had for that woman before we started our relationship, until now). Thank you.

Forget the labels.

You don't trust her, it's not going anywhere and her threatening to kill herself is really not your problem. Sending police to do a welfare check if she threatens it will usually nip that shit in the bud.

6 months in shouldn't be this hard OP.

You don't trust her, she is manipulative (threatening to kill herself), there's boundry issues (her allowing you to play dad to her kid after 6 months).

You can stick around for another few years and feel like this constantly, or you can end things now and find someone you trust.

I know what I would rather do.

It's immaterial how you label it and whether it's cheating or not.

It's a terrible relationship and you need to exit.
You can do this for any reason Inc. You just feel like it.

Threatening to kill herself is not your problem.
I would distance myself as quickly as possible from her and not look back

So much drama. Six months into a relationship is all about having fun not microanalysis of every conversation.

🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩

Inappropriate boundaries with both women and men. Not just one person, but multiple people.

Manipulative- "I'll kill myself if you leave"

Inappropriate boundaries- allowing you to be close enough to her child that they think of you as a dad 6 months in?

Sneaking around with a mutual friend.

You have quite a few red flags there bud, dint ignore them.

Walk away, you don't trust her and she's showing you plenty of reasons to feel that way, leave before the Web gets any more entangled, it'll get messier the longer you stick around

The threat to kill herself should be enough.

Too much drama.

Run.

You've been together 6 months, do you really want a lifetime of this?

It doesn't really matter if she is straight or bi or gay, she has feelings for someone else (which could be a one off or could be part of her being attracted to women) and worse, seems to have been acting on it.

What is she or this other woman claiming happened between them when they were spending time alone?

There are a lot of red flags here for me. It's only been a few months and she has lied to you, and been spending time with someone else. She is also saying she will kill herself if you leave her which is highly manipulative. And she has been letting her son treat you like a dad after only a few months. None of this indicates a healthy relationship to me

The answers to any of your numbered questions are irrelevant. This is a deeply dysfunctional relationship and not going anywhere. Bin and move on.

(And agree with @gamerchick above; if you end the relationship and she threatens suicide, call 999 and let them deal with her. You are not responsible for whatever she chooses to do).

Drama, deceit and manipulation. This is unhealthy and toxic.
No, you can't trust her. She's bisexual but that's not the issue, her inability to respect boundaries is.
Call it quits.

This is all horrendous. You should not have even met her child after six months in my opinion, but definitely not playing dad. Her threat to kill herself if you leave is abusive - it's coercive control and emotional blackmail. Whatever her orientation is, it sounds like she's had an emotional affair.

You can't trust her. End it, move on.

Run OP

You have lost trust, she is still insisting on some suspicious things and is being emotionally abusive to keep you (threats of suicide)

Tell her family or the authorities about the suicide threats and you'll find they probably stop and/or they'll be able to check up on her, then get out of there

Plenty of other nice people out there who won't treat you like this

It all sounds very intense after only 6 months.The threatening to kill herself is a huge red flag I've been there,ex threatened to kill himself if I tried to leave, it's manipulative and won't get better. Get out op.

This! This 100x! Run and do not look back.

Agree with everyone else, at 6months in you should have zero issues like this and should be enjoying the honeymoon phase, cut her loose

What a load of drama
Why would you ask her if she had feelings for a woman prior to a relationship surely you knew there was something going on?
8 hours a day every day together seems somewhat full on, do you both work
Honestly would walk away from this, sorry you’re hurt and it sounds awful but your girlfriend obviously isn’t that into you if she’s in love with someone else and her behaviour is weird.

6 months in should be bliss, not this shit show.

Run.

The sr71 blackbird can fly over 3500km/h. It could fly around the earth in less than 12 hours.

I give this information as an indicator of how fast and how far you need to run

I echo everything said above.

6 months in should be fun and carefree.

Walk away iwannabeadad, take your time, and find yourself someone else to be a family with