AIBU to feel a bit fucked off with the timing of the covid?

[YouBetterSmile]

Totally self indulgent of me I know but covid hit just as I was starting to consider having a wee bit of a social life for myself. I've got a kid, the dad fucked off to London when he was still a baby.

Then after he left I pretty much had 14 years of staying in, on my own. I did get sitters but it got tricky past around age 11 to book teenagers and I couldn't afford professional sitters. Plus even when he was little and the teenage sitters were ok I couldn't stay out too late.

I'd just about got to the point where I was starting to leave him alone a bit longer, get a bit of myself back, and then suddenly bam that's it, lockdown. And we've been in and out of that ever since.

I feel fucked off on two counts. 1) that no one ever gave a shit that I'd effectively been in lockdown for 14 fucking years previously (ofc I was "able to" work, thanks to pishing out money on childcare all that time, but I've continued to work out of home throughout lockdowns so no change there); 2) that my own personal lockdown continued just as I thought I was getting out of it.

Actually I know IA being U to be pissed off about both these things but sometimes it's hard to get past it. I have worked so hard and pished so much money up the wall and it's all just miserable nonetheless.

I just want to give you a massive virtual cwtch! That is shit timing the way that's all come together. I loathed being in isolation for 10 days (I kept testing ducking positive so no 7 day release for me!!). It is crap timing, but, eh, what's one week after waiting so long? What can you treat yourself to at home now? Takeaway? Book? Online shopping binge? Go for it!

I can't imagine that COVID has had 'great timing' for any of us. For me, it coincided with me losing my job, being diagnosed with a life-changing medical condition and a mental health breakdown. Not sure what you want from this post...

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy I get it. I really do. I’m sure you’re hurting incredibly, as that’s more than any one person should have to put up with in a decade, much less a year or two. At this time in history though, it’s not a race to the bottom, as much as we sometimes feel like it (and boy, does it). OP reached out because she’s hurting too, and humans need each other when we hurt.

@YouBetterSmile I get it. Childcare is so incredibly expensive and you spent it all so you could work, you’ve done all these years as a single parent, you’ve tried to make all the right decisions, as you thought finally you could see the light at the end of the tunnel of maybe starting to be your “own woman” again, not just “mum.” Maybe a hobby, or some (very short) trips, or even dating, and dare I say, SEX! But it’s as if the light at the end of the tunnel was a train. No, it’s not a life-changing medical condition or a job loss, which are truly awful things, but yes, you’re still allowed to be frustrated and hurt. Scream it out at the sky. I hope that things will soon be at least “slightly” more normal, and you can have your very simple and not at all unrealistic dreams, but I’m afraid I’m not even sure, as someone who got two vaccines and a booster and is sitting here feeling rather unwell with omicron (I mean, I suppose it could be delta, ha).

YANBU at all to feel the way you do . Life these days feels so much harder at times than it used to be. Too much social media, it’s a constant race to do better and have more.

Are you able have a friend over for a catch up?
A group of single friends I know take it in turns to babysit for one another, whilst the others go out. They’re very close, been friends since school and in their forties now- all single and want to date.

We all deal with things differently, it’s not a competition about one situation being worse than other. You are allowed to feel frustrated, it’s all relative . Hope things improve for anyone feeling unhappy during these strange times.

Yeh I don't think you are unreasonable at all, I always say it's been rubbish for most people just in different ways.
The reasons it's been rubbish for you are perfectly valid (and to be honest, even if they weren't to some people, it doesn't matter, this is your life, not anyone else's)

Yes, I get that. I've been a single parent to four for the last 10 yrs. I now have adult children and the youngest is 12. I'd just got to a point where I could go away to see friends and my adult children could care for the youngest. I was getting my life back too just as covid and all the restrictions hit. I was looking forward to holidays and a bit more travel with the younger ones as I haven't been able to afford to take four children away in years.

achoolpickup I think she means general restrictions, things being cancelled, people not wanting to come out ec rather than her personally having to isolate for a week. I understand op. In a not dissimilar situation myself. All we can we do is hope things steadily improve with vaccs, less serious variants etc.

I'm in the same boat. Do you mean you actually have covid though? None of us have had a social life when restrictions were on. If you mean you have covid then it's only a short isolation.
I haven't had covid and now my children can finally be left overnight I've got a few nights away planned. I keep thinking it will be just my bloody luck to get it around one of my trips!
You have my sympathy though. It's zero fun being under house arrest other than work for ten years, and after that I only went to zumba for an hour until they could be left for longer periods. Its shit being the only parent that cared.

I feel for you. It's awful.. I'd been out of work for about five years at the start of lockdown and just as I was about to embark on one job when all the children were schooling from home so I had to quit. They're back now, and I've started working again. But it's knocked my mental health that noone, not one person ever asked how I was getting on in lockdown, never said 'what a shame' about the job I'd just started. I realised lockdown was ok as I've always been cut off from everyone and noone missed me.

But if your child is now 14 can't you go out now? I don't really understand unless you are in a country with major restrictions still. But if you are in the UK you can go out and meet friends or do hobbies.