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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my DH is a miser when it comes to holidays? How much do you spend?

283 replies

Pipsquiggle · 16/01/2022 16:28

We are a relatively high earning household. We earn between £7k and £9k a month net. Have a small mortgage, no debts to pay off, monthly bills but essentially never spend over what we earn (we have saved for so long, we have kept up with this habit)

We both agreed that we needed a foreign holiday where we could relax, so I looked at options for an all inclusive 4/5 stars, pools, kids clubs etc. for 7 days. The quotes I got back were circa £5k to £6k (school holidays, family of 4).

My husband then says 'We can't spend like this every holiday - it will be a 1 off' - which is fair enough, I don't mind camping or hiring a cottage etc.

But then I got thinking - am I taking the mick with this holiday? What do other people spend when they go abroad?

I don't want to start a 'showing off' thread but genuinely How much do you approx earn as a household and how much do you approx spend for a week abroad? This holiday is slightly lower than a month's earnings - is that too much?

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
2022success · 16/01/2022 16:35

You will get such a wide range of responses here OP.

It depends on how people prioritise holidays. If I took home between £7 - £9k a month, there is no way I would be going fucking camping.

For our big annual holiday (pre covid) I would spend about £10k for me and two young adult DC, including spending money. That would be (for example) a nice apartment in Italy, days out visiting attractions, eating in decent restaurants etc. On top of that we would have a couple of long weekends, say Paris and Dubrovnik for them and maybe a friend each, and that would cost about another £4 - £5k each trip.

Last year it was just five days in Spain and then a fortnight in California. Probably cost less than usual. However, I absolutely prioritise holidays. I only take home about £3.5k but have tiny house, tiny mortgage, no debt.

2022success · 16/01/2022 16:37

So anyway, YANBU. Given your income that is not an unreasonable amount to spend. Does DH have different priorities to you - retiring very early? Big house, flashy cars?

hibbledibble · 16/01/2022 16:37

I don't do holido abroad, as it's terrible environmentally.

For holidays I have generally gone for cheap options (uk self catering cottage), though food and day trips in the UK are very pricey.

6k for 2 weeks abroad does seem like a lot! But maybe prices have gone up a lot since I last went abroad.

murderontheorientexpress · 16/01/2022 16:38

Single parent, £4k net per month. £3k on a nice holiday for a week in the summer for me and 1 DC to get away from everything.

Maybe three weekends away in nice ish hotels the rest of the year.

Decent sized mortgage post divorce but very little debt - just house and a decent car in the main although I do use a 0% credit card for big things at times, paying it off within the interest free period.

Kidsaregrim · 16/01/2022 16:39

2.5k self catering in Greece for a family of 4 plus about £2400 spending money for two weeks.
Household income less than half of yours
One holiday a year that we save for and look forward to.

WinnersDinner · 16/01/2022 16:39

For one holiday £5-£6k is reasonable

Especially if you have kids (we spent more than that just 2 of us for most of our trips before children!)

We are comfortable but always have a rule that our bonuses are our holiday spends for the following year, so it does vary but we tend to spend £10-£15k on holidays throughout the year. More if I've had a higher bonus (rare due to my companies bonus system which is a curve)

murderontheorientexpress · 16/01/2022 16:40

So to answer your question my week away with 1 DC is ¾ of a month's take home pay.

MintyGreenDream · 16/01/2022 16:41

We earn around 48k per year,smail mortgage and spend around 5k on an annual 2 week holiday 4 or 5 star all inclusive for 2 adults and a child

JugglingJanuary · 16/01/2022 16:41

I think relative to your income it's actually a reasonable amount to spend for an annual holiday, let alone a one off.

KatharinaRosalie · 16/01/2022 16:43

yeah for a nice 5* AI that's not an unusual price range.

But let him do the research if he thinks this is overpriced.

zafferana · 16/01/2022 16:43

It's expensive travelling in the school holidays with a family and it sounds like your DH is unused to spending that kind of money (a pretty standard amount IMO for what you describe) on a holiday. So try it. He says 'one off' now, but maybe he'll love it and agree that in future it's money well spent for the relaxation and family time you'll get? From what you've written, you can afford it and no, YANBU to want to spend that sort of money if you have it sitting in the bank with no other pressing needs for it.

AnxiousHeffalump · 16/01/2022 16:44

I’m currently refusing to pay any more than 1k for a week away in the summer. It looks like we shall be staying at home!

CaptainMerica · 16/01/2022 16:44

I think that is more than I would spend - I'd rather have two holidays at 3k, than one at 6k in case one of the kids spends the whole time vomiting or something.

It varies so much though. E.g. depending on whether you live in the south near lots of cheap flight or driving options, or somewhere with much less choice.

I don't think there is anything wrong with prioritising holidays, though not going abroad every year would be a good thing too.

WinnersDinner · 16/01/2022 16:45

@AnxiousHeffalump

I’m currently refusing to pay any more than 1k for a week away in the summer. It looks like we shall be staying at home!
Forever

1k is nothing for summer peak, and with inflation with an attitude like that you'll not be going for some time

SmallestInTheClass · 16/01/2022 16:45

It sounds very reasonable based on your income. What does he want to spend it on instead? Might agree with him if you're saving for a car/house move/major extension etc but if it's just going to sit in the bank then I'd have the holiday!

Zorya · 16/01/2022 16:47

Well we spend about £300-£500 on our annual holiday. We earn a lot less than you though. Surely it’s just relative?

ShinyMe · 16/01/2022 16:48

I think I spend about one month's salary per year all in on holidays, maybe a bit less.

Malariahilaria · 16/01/2022 16:49

We spend £5k for 2 weeks in Europe in a sc villa. But then another £1k easily on meals out and activities. We buy flights in Dec, and put aside money monthly to cover. We don't really do any other away holidays except for camping and day trips but this is our big thing that we look forward to all year. When DC we're smaller we did AI. Which is about the same but then no outside activities so more boring but without shopping, cooking and cleaning so perfect for me at that time.

JennieLee · 16/01/2022 16:50

Something might be affordable ie within budget, but still seem a lot of money to spend for a person with different priorities.

There's also the question of what is relaxing. I find the business of airports/plane travel quite stressful. Sunbathing bores me and I burn easily.

So for me unwinding might involve a UK walking holiday that would cost significantly less than the figures you've mentioned.

And if I were to shell out £5,000 I might want to spend it on something visible - buying artwork or making some major home improvement.

It's not that I don't want to travel further - but in that case it would be for stimulating new experiences - sightseeing, exploration etc - rather than relaxation, pure and simple.

So it may not really be about being miserly, but about one of you placing a higher value on a particular kind of holiday than the other.

CovidCorvid · 16/01/2022 16:50

There’s no right or wrong answer. You can afford it so that’s great. But I also understand thinking it’s too much money to spend on a holiday. Some people will have the mind set you have nothing left to show for it at the end. So therefore you should find something cheaper and put the saved money in savings. Others will have the mid set that you work hard and deserve it. Neither is wrong.

loves2plan · 16/01/2022 16:50

I think it’s definitely relative. I am used to spending most of a months take home pay on a weeks holiday (usually 5 all inclusive just for myself, no children) but since meeting DP who earns almost double as much as I do he can’t fathom some of the costs of the holidays I suggest and I don’t even think they’re expensive 😂 example: I earn approx £40k and he earns approx £70k and when I suggest a £1,300pp 5 long haul all inclusive holiday he thinks that is a lot but I think it’s completely reasonable. As others have said though I completely prioritise holidays and wouldn’t go without a week away on a given year, as well as weekend trips, camping with family etc. I think the price you have quoted for yourselves and two DC seem reasonable, especially with your earnings.

CrimbleCrumble1 · 16/01/2022 16:51

We spend 20k per year, normally one big family holiday that costs about 12k and the rest on holidays for just my DH and I.
OP I don’t think the holiday you want sounds at all excessive in relation to your income. You probably could find a slightly longer and cheaper holiday if you shopped around.

pointythings · 16/01/2022 16:51

For me that would be a major blowout holiday, but I don't have that kind of take home. And the year I had an inheritance, I did spend £4k on a week in Greece for me and two kids, 5*, during the school summer holidays. It was bloody worth it too.

FrownedUpon · 16/01/2022 16:54

That sounds completely reasonable. We have a monthly income of 6.5k and will spend 6k on a 2 week summer holiday and another 4/5k on shorter holidays throughout the year.

fjernelse · 16/01/2022 16:55

That feels like a lot and I know my DH would be the same as yours. Mine thinks holidays are a waste of money.

Our net income is about the same as yours with mortgage paid and no debts.

We spent just over 3k on a holiday to Portugal in October but only was breakfast and dinner and one DC. Was a 4* hotel.

3k is probably fairly typical for us. I’d be expecting something quite special for 5-6k but acknowledge that you have an extra DC.