To ask for help sorting out my messy life?

[JackieDaytonaHumanBarTender]

I posted this on another thread yesterday and had a couple of replies with some good advice but thought I'd repost to see if anyone else is able to offer any tips on getting on top of things.

My house is an absolute mess.

I am really struggling at the moment. It's still upside down from Christmas. Well it was a mess before Christmas to be honest. We had 2 family bereavements in December plus my dad was really ill so we just didn't keep on top of things.

DH and I both came down with covid on Boxing Day and were so I'll with it. DH went back to work as soon as he was able to but it wiped him out. I took an extra couple of days off to try and tidy but I just was too exhausted. DH is now working away until March he was called away quite last minute so he didn't have time to sort much out and I am juggling working full time, looking after 6 year old DS and helping out with my dad.

The washing basket is overflowing, clean clothes are in piles (or rather untidy mounds) waiting to be put away. There are dishes everywhere that need to be washed. There are Christmas toys that need to be sorted and put away and old toys that need to be given away. DS's wardrobe is full of clothes that don't fit but I haven't had time to sort them out. My bedroom has a floordrobe. The bathroom needs to be scrubbed. The kitchen has only had a quick brush since Christmas and and no mop. I don't know when the oven was last cleaned. The hall is full of all kinds of crap, shoes and coats. The front room has a Christmas tree up in it still. The other Christmas decorations are in boxes to go in the loft but I can't get in to the loft without DH.

I am so overwhelmed. On a normal day I leave the house at 7:30 and get in just after 6 and then have to sort out dinner and bedtime. DS is usually in bed for 8 and we would clean then but I've been getting so tired after having covid that I just sit for half an hour and then I'm ready for bed.

DH has said he can organise getting a cleaner in maybe to do a deep clean then visit every week for about 4 weeks and then having them come every other week which would be great but I need to get it "cleaner ready" before this.

Does anyone have any tips? I think I'm at breaking point and writing this all down has made me realise that this is the worst the house has ever been!

I had to stay at my parents last night but will be back today after 5 so planning on blitzing the kitchen and ordering a takeaway tonight for me and DS to save some washing up! If anyone can offer any advice I would really appreciate it!

I think my first job would be getting rid of the clothes that are too small for your child. Then the clean clothes have somewhere to live. Get the old clothes out of the house asap to clear space. I recommend the podcast a slob comes clean to listen to whilst actually cleaning, but also driving, cooking. I have found this a real help and i find the host engaging.
Take before and after photos so you can see what you have achieved.
And declutter as much as you can.

Thanks again everyone for all the advice and kind support.

All of the washing is done!!!!!! A mix of washes through the week and a local laundrette who offer a pick up/drop off service.

Cleaner came by this afternoon and she arrived with a bottle of wine, went and got a glass from the kitchen and told me to sit on the couch and not move for the next hour. DH has apparently had a chat over the phone with her and told her how stressful it had been recently! She has cleaned all the kitchen and bathroom, hoovered the stairs, mopped all the floors, dusted, wiped all the blinds, gathered all the clean clothes and has said that she can sort them out and put them away when she comes this week. She said she can sort out DS's wardrobe for me too. She was so lovely and was so understanding. I used the tip of designating an area of a room and putting all my crap there. She saw that and said to just spend 20 minutes a night putting a few things away and she's also going to bring me a cook book for batch cooking that I can borrow for a few weeks. It was like having a mum here to just look after me. She gave me a massive hug before leaving and I cried. She sat me back down and gave me this lovely little pep talk. She has apparently sent a message to DH after leaving to say that she has it all covered and will do as many or as few hours as needed over the next few weeks and then if we want to keep her for weekly/monthly visits just let her know and she can book a regular slot. I've already told her that we're not paying her enough.

Tomorrow I am taking the Christmas tree down! And then will move on to the toys.

Feeling so much better. I've also been taking vitamins and made sure I've been eating properly at work (home has been easier oven meals the last week and obviously DS has a healthier meal in school so mum guilt not too bad!) drank loads of water and just tried to look after myself more!

I agree with bin bag advice. just get 2 or 3 outfits out and shove everything else in your room in a black bag and put to the side.
same with everything else actually you do t need to be cleaner ready just shove the clutter in the bin bags at the edge of one room and ring the cleaner
seriously and don't let embarrassment stop you.

It was like having a mum here to just look after me. She gave me a massive hug before leaving and I cried. She sat me back down and gave me this lovely little pep talk. She has apparently sent a message to DH after leaving to say that she has it all covered and will do as many or as few hours as needed over the next few weeks and then if we want to keep her for weekly/monthly visits just let her know and she can book a regular slot. I've already told her that we're not paying her enough.

Oh that’s made me all teary - how lovely.
Your cleaner is a wonderful person and your DH too for finding her and explaining what you need.

Wash the dishes for today. Dw about anything else. Smack a load of laundry in and put it to dry.

If you can arrange that the cleaner comes when you're there you can work together.
You don't need to be cleaner ready.
Cleaners are normal people who have seen it all, and it's actually very fulfilling to feel you're actually making a difference.

Don't get it cleaner ready.put your health first.
Get the cleaner now.💐

@NoSquirrels

It was like having a mum here to just look after me. She gave me a massive hug before leaving and I cried. She sat me back down and gave me this lovely little pep talk. She has apparently sent a message to DH after leaving to say that she has it all covered and will do as many or as few hours as needed over the next few weeks and then if we want to keep her for weekly/monthly visits just let her know and she can book a regular slot. I've already told her that we're not paying her enough.

Oh that’s made me all teary - how lovely.
Your cleaner is a wonderful person and your DH too for finding her and explaining what you need.

I obviously didn't rtft but have just seen this. Absolutely perfect! See, op, there's nothing wrong with getting overwhelmed. Most of us have been there at some point and it only takes a shred of compassion to understand and genuinely want to help. If I had a friend in your situation I'd help for free, because the change around to a calm house from chaos is nothing short of life changing. You will get there with consistency. And you'll get to the point you can weather the hiccups, like illness.

That cleaner sounds wonderful, OP!

Tbh, your house sounds like mine 🙈 Well done for starting to get on top of it.

My recommendation would be to try a 'capsule wardrobe'. I'm just trying this concept for myself, but it's so handy in terms of not having clothes constantly hanging around on the floor or bed or wherever. I have 2 dresses, 3 trousers, 2 skirts, 2 cardigans, 2 jumpers, 5 tops and 3 pairs of shoes to mix and match in the week. This doesn't include underwear, pyjamas or exercise clothes. Every week, one load of washing generally means I've got everything I need for the following week.

I'm starting to feel a difference already in terms of being able to hang up one or two items each night and mentally it's much easier to choose what to wear. Just a thought (I'm only a few weeks in)! I cleared all my other clothes into bin bags in the loft and it feels good to have an emptier wardrobe and drawers now!

Good. You are on a roll. Cleaner sounds lovely. get her to come back twice this week if she can, if not as much as she can as soon as she can.