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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect parents and in laws to WAIT to open pressies.....

25 replies

popmum · 26/12/2007 20:21

My kids waited from 6am-10am to open their big pressies on xmas morning til all the GPs arrived(live quite nearby). Then all arrive with presents, we start to give out the ones from us to GPs/Aunts etc and 3 of the just start opening theirs. My dd all morning had been saying 'when can i open my presents', 'wait' we said til they all get here.
They could see all the unopened presents.............I was so cross. Moaned to my sister who sid something to my mum who turned round and had the grace to say 'oh dd yuo are so good waiting'...
i am still fuming, makes me so cross they are so insenstive to my 4 year old DD and her nearly 2 yr old bro and to me and my DH who tried so hard to make them wait so the GPs could see them open their stuff.
And don't get me started on SIL (sat their picking spots and sneezing into her hand) grrrr

OP posts:

Tortington · 26/12/2007 20:27

unless it was specified hat yourchildren will be waiting unil they arrive i think its a lot to ask - but if you did then shaame ont hem !

but to be quite honest your kids shouldnt have to wait to open their xmas presents

Original poster

popmum · 26/12/2007 20:31

well we've waited in the past and i thought it would be nice for them to see the kids opne their presents. next year though I'll not bother

OP posts:

MsHighwater · 26/12/2007 21:35

Were the presents you made your kids wait to open from their GP/Aunts, etc? If not, why make them wait to open them? If so, and the presents were already at your house, same question?

YABU. Sorry.

sandyballs · 26/12/2007 21:39

Were the presents for your children from father xmas? Not sure I understand this.

BrieVinDeAlkaSeltzer · 26/12/2007 21:40

I consider anyone who makes a child wait, longer than the words ..............He has been.....are seriously strange and have control issues.

Freaks in fact.

It is such a short space of time, they will not believe forever.

MeMySonAndI · 26/12/2007 21:44

I don't get it... you gave the presents to GPs/Aunts etc and are annoyed because 3 of them start to open them staight away??? Excuse me, but once they are handed down to them it is them who decide when to open them.

It is not as if you can say " ready, steady... open your gifts... NOW!!!"

but probably I'm totally missing the point

Can't see the point of making your children wait either, if they want to see them opening their big presents (from Father Christmas, I assume) they should be there in the early hours...

BrieVinDeAlkaSeltzer · 26/12/2007 21:48

FIRST POST

No further energy ladies........

nametaken · 26/12/2007 21:51

hmmm I'm with brie here.

In fact, I'd almost (and I say almost) say it was quite cruel to force them to wait 4 hours to open their pressies.

Do you feel like you've got obedient little children now and this makes you by definition a perfect parent?

utterlyconfused · 26/12/2007 21:51

Yes, I don't really get it either. Your dc's had waited (and I do understand why you did this) but were they not by this stage free to start opening, as the relatives had arrived? If the presents had been given out, what else was there to wait for?
It's tricky isn't it? We just all have our own ways of doing things, especially at Christmas. My dc's open their stockings when they get up, but that is all they get from Father Christmas. All the big presents (under the tree) are from real people, and we wait until after lunch for those as it's only then that we can all sit down together and relax. No-one minds. The kids have their stocking presents to keep them happy and, contrary to popular belief, it takes remarkably little to make a child happy.

SelfishMrsClaus · 26/12/2007 21:52

Why did you make your kids wait?

It's you I would be angry with, not your relatives

My kids open as soon as they're out of bed!!

I let my kids open their gifts when the people who bought them, give them to them, if that makes sense.

onepieceoflollipop · 26/12/2007 21:53

Yes Brie you may well be right. Ruby had some useful "spray" on a similar thread recently - did you see it!? Could do with a squirt here now.

utterlyconfused · 26/12/2007 21:54

What spray was that?!!

onepieceoflollipop · 26/12/2007 21:57

I'm not totally sure of mnet etiquette in these circumstances. I don't like to make accusations lightly, but this seems a very odd thread.

Brie made an interesting suggestion earlier on the thread. I tend to think she may be right. The spray I am referring to was a sort of joke I saw on another thread and it is used in these circumstances.

If I am being unfair then I apologise.

paulaplumpbottom · 26/12/2007 21:57

Why not ask the GPs to stay the night next year that way the kids don't have to wait. I know that you were trying to please the adults but its a bit unfair to make the kids wait in the morning. Chances are they've already waited all year

booge · 26/12/2007 22:00

We wait til after lunch so doesn't seem odd to me. (Open stockings when wake up tho)

booge · 26/12/2007 22:02

The op did say big presents too. I think they could have waited. YANBU

booge · 26/12/2007 22:03

I don't get what's wrong with sneezing into your hand though.

paulaplumpbottom · 26/12/2007 22:05

Oh yuck! Its not sanitary. Am I the only person who keeps a tissue up my sleeve. If I do have to sneeze into my hand I always wash iot immediatly

booge · 26/12/2007 22:08

Better than spraying the room you don't have a hankey handy.

GreatGlowingMerrily · 26/12/2007 22:28

I can understand saving the presents from said GPs/ Aunts to be opened in their presence but not other presents. I do agree that once a present has been opened I would expect the person to open it, so perhaps in the future you should keep them under the tree until it is time to open them. The dc are taught to sneeze/ cough into their bent inner-elbow at preschool

GreatGlowingMerrily · 26/12/2007 22:29

Sorry, meant to say that once a present has been handed out I would expect the person to open it.

FrannyandZooey · 26/12/2007 22:32

do you mean that you like everyone to have their pile of presents first and then begin opening when all the presents have been given out? We do that too, and I don't think it is cruel or odd at all, but I think you would have to explain this tradition as other people do it differently

as for waiting till 10 am to open presents, yes why not? I assume they had their stockings in the morning? Ripping open the rest of your presents as soon as you get downstairs seems a bit off to me (I know some people do this, it's just not what I'm used to). Children can wait, and it can make the day more exciting and less about just getting stuff.

aviatrix · 26/12/2007 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Nightynight · 26/12/2007 23:06

yabu
sounds a bit controlling to me to expect your rellies to hold on to presents you've just handed them, and not open them til you tell them they're allowed to.

Original poster

popmum · 27/12/2007 12:40

Excuse me, but this is not my 1st post at all (1st recent post though I grant you).

I simply wanted my kids to wait to open the presents from me and my DH - ie the 'big' ones - they did open stockings ones - and I wanted them to wait (like others on this thread have done) so that the GPs could see their faces when they open the big presents and the family could all share the moment. I certainly DO NOT think this is controlling, more like encouraging children to have some restraint and to show them it is nice for others when they wait.

We've always handed out all the presents to every one and then all opened together. My dd is pretty good (for now) about asking when she can open stuff and I am v. grateful for this and this doesn't make me feel I am the "perfect parent" but it is just what she is like.

So thank you FrannyandZooey and otehrs for understanding me and sorry if I wasn't clear to others - I just can't believe my FIL has to start ripping the wrapping off hsi presents before a 4 year old....

OP posts:

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