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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Hiding past drug use

4 replies

Kerplonker · 16/01/2022 00:19

I was with my last partner from beginning of 2019 through to summer 2020. He moved into my flat as lockdown started, but the pressure of living together in lockdown plus some other issues ended the relationship. We had been close & pre lockdown were thinking about moving up to Scotland together.
He’d always been open about his mental health issues, he is bipolar & had had bouts of serious depression. He’d used recreational drugs in the past, but so have I so this didn’t bother me.
We stayed friends since our breakup, with a few ups & downs. Earlier today he confessed he was a heroin addict. He swears he never used while we were together, but has gone back to drug use - managed 10 days clean over Xmas. He told me he’d split with the partner before me because of his addiction. He’d previously told me they’d split because she left him for someone else.
I feel so stupid. AIBU to think that this is a big deception at the heart of our relationship or am I overreacting & he was clean when we were together (not sure I believe that). He thinks we can just carry on being friends but I’m not sure I can do that. Neither of us have children.

OP posts:
ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 16/01/2022 12:44

Yanbu you didn't know he was a drug addict - is he a high functioning one holding down a job? I guess it's easier to hide it then

ChristyL · 16/01/2022 13:17

If he and his ex broke up over his addiction and then he was using after your broke up then he was definitely using while he was with you. Sorry to say. I knew someone who was a heroin addict and he got to the point of robbing his own family to pay for the drugs. He would take his younger siblings toys to sell. Be a support for him but I wouldn't move in with him or be in a relationship.

ChristyL · 16/01/2022 13:18

Or just cut ties with him if he's not a massive part of your life and just move on.

RedCandyApple · 16/01/2022 13:32

Well he’s an ex so doesn’t matter now. I would cut contact

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