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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this is considered harassment?

16 replies

Sherbertlollipop871 · 15/01/2022 20:00

NDN regularly slams her kitchen cabinets throughout the day and night. She does it deliberately to annoy us as she doesn’t like children. My children are 11 and 14 so not babies they are quiet and respectful and spend their evenings gaming so it isn’t retaliation from noise. The slamming wakes us every second hour through the night which I feel is anti social behaviour as it is an anti social hour. We have lived in our house for 6 months so I’m unsure what has provoked this person to behave this way. She refuses to speak to me so I can understand her reasons. I know it would be hard to report or prove as she is likely to talk it away somehow but it is causing us a lot of stress and lack of sleep. So AIBU to feel this is harassment as she is doing it deliberately to disturb us and what can I do about it?

OP posts:

Theunamedcat · 15/01/2022 20:03

Why are you so sure she does it deliberately? My cupboards were really Bangy when I moved in I bought some dots to muffle them when they are closed apparently the previous tenants "didn't notice"

Chimley · 15/01/2022 20:03

You can get a sound monitor to keep on your side of the wall where the slamming happens. It will record how loud, how often and when it happened.

MsAgnesDiPesto · 15/01/2022 20:05

Does she stay up all night to do this? Does she never sleep?

It’s odd to assume she is doing it on purpose and doesn’t like children unless there’s a lot more to it than you’ve set out in your OP.

Original poster

Sherbertlollipop871 · 15/01/2022 20:06

Because it didn’t happen during the first 4 Months of us being here then suddenly she began to do it. We overheard her tell her brother that she doesn’t like living next door to children. Except when her nephews visit she loudly encourages them to bang on our walls too so it feels personal. We’re a quiet family and spend more time at work and school than home so it’s completely unjustified IMO!

OP posts:

MsAgnesDiPesto · 15/01/2022 20:09

Okay, so there is more to it! Then keep a noise diary and contact your local council with the details.

They will ask you to monitor the noise (possibly with recordings) and then they can take action if she’s causing a nuisance.

She sounds unpleasant - are you worried about repercussions if you take action against her?

Original poster

Sherbertlollipop871 · 15/01/2022 20:09

Apparently not! As the noise is worse between 2am and 6am, she does not leave the house so I’m sympathetic to the possibly she may have mental health issues or other problems, but it isn’t fair on our family to suffer this noise every day.

OP posts:

Original poster

Sherbertlollipop871 · 15/01/2022 20:10

Yes I am worried as although I make the choice to ignore her it may provoke her to make the noise more often or in a different way that I cannot report just to punish us for complaining!

OP posts:

ImSureISaidNo · 15/01/2022 20:13

If you pursue action via council or whatever you will have to declare when or if you sell your house.

MsAgnesDiPesto · 15/01/2022 20:37

Okay. Well then you have two other options: put up with it, or try another way to resolve it.

Can you go round and knock, and tell her that you are hearing a lot of noise in the night from her, so much that it’s waking you all, and you would like to check she is all right and help her solve whatever problem is causing the noise, because it’s clearly stopping both you and her from sleeping? Thinking charitably, she might be hearing a lot more noise from you than you realise, if you can hear her kitchen cupboards then it’s likely she can hear yours, and much more besides. She might be hearing your washing machine or something late at night and it’s made her think your children are causing a nuisance. Do they use headsets when they game, shouting into the microphones? You might be able to cut one noise on your side if she will cut out the nocturnal banging.

Original poster

Sherbertlollipop871 · 15/01/2022 20:47

We’re in bed by 10-7pm so no overnight noise that would explain her trying to wake us. Washing machine is only run in the afternoons. We haven’t got any pets. The kids use headsets. Tv on low volume. No music. We don’t even have visitors as my family live abroad. I have wracked my brains to think of an explainable reason for it but I cannot think of one. If it’s talking and general movement around the house then I don’t understand why you would punish a family for daring to breathe and live their lives!

OP posts:

Original poster

Sherbertlollipop871 · 15/01/2022 20:47

10pm-7am*

OP posts:

MsAgnesDiPesto · 15/01/2022 20:49

@Sherbertlollipop871

I don’t understand it either, but if you want to stop her disrupting your sleep, then you’re going to have to do one of the things available to you. Doing it amicably is likely to get the best long term outcome - being able to live peaceably.

MissMaple82 · 15/01/2022 20:54

You are probably NOT the quiet family you say you are, I know how noise gamers can be for a kick off. Obviously you've pissed her off, look into your own lives first.

Original poster

Sherbertlollipop871 · 15/01/2022 20:59

Believe me if my kids were loud on games I’d be the first to tell them to be quiet as I don’t like that either and wouldn’t tolerate it never mind expect a neighbour to. If we had done something to annoy her surely it would have triggered her when we moved in and definitely before now? Nothing has changed. I’d be the first to admit if there was anything we do that could be perceived as annoying. We are home for 4 hours daytime on weekdays and asleep overnight. We have never complained about noises from her house (children and pets) as people are entitled to live in their homes comfortably. She refuses to acknowledge me so speaking to her is out of the question.

OP posts:

Santahasjoinedww · 15/01/2022 21:03

My ndn started a hate campaign

I went round to discuss it after catching her out.
She admitted it was too difficult to live nd as we had dc and she had lost 7 babies...
She was on the panel who gave out tenancies. She lost us our home.

nalabae · 15/01/2022 22:03

Yes it is harrassment but don’t expect the police to do anything because they will say how do you know it is deliberate.
I have a scummy neighbour who constantly throws things in my front garden, touches my bins and moves them around I have her on cctv doing it but police not interested because it seems small but with a whole background of things it’s not from day one they started harrassing me for no reason

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