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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I KNOW IABU

4 replies

saltandpepper234 · 15/01/2022 17:56

I have a DP, been together for 6 years and were friends for years before that. I know his family extremely well and we are very close. I very much feel like a part of the family and treat his parents as my own. His dad has told me he views me as the daughter he didn’t have. It’s all very lovely and we are very lucky.

DPs brother has recently got a girlfriend and I didn’t expect to feel this way but I suddenly find myself feeling insanely jealous. She has more in common with his parents than I do on the face of it and as brother lives at home will be spending a lot more time with them than we do as we have our own house.

I KNOW IABU and I really am really happy for my partner’s brother to have found someone but I feel crazy jealous that someone else is joining the family and they might prefer her to me.

Tell me I am being ridiculous please!!

OP posts:
BendingSpoons · 15/01/2022 17:58

Such a lovely family sound like they have plenty of love for both of you! Hopefully a new friend for you.

FeckTheMagicDragon · 15/01/2022 17:58

Yes, you know you are BU, but you need to get to the reason why? You obviously are worried that she will replace you in their affections. But you never mentioned your own family. What is you relationship like with them?

RedRobyn2021 · 15/01/2022 18:08

I think it's cool you're so self aware

Have you thought about making friends with the new girlfriend? If you get on well with her it might help ease the jealousy

Original poster
saltandpepper234 · 15/01/2022 18:19

Thanks for the kind responses!

@FeckTheMagicDragon I think you are right about needing to know why I feel like this. My relationship with my own family is fine although I have always enjoyed how much more low maintenance things are with DPs family and I am able to be more open with them than my own.

@RedRobyn2021 Yes I think I will try and make friends with her although she is a lot younger than me so not sure how much we will have in common. I will obviously only be nice to her though.

I think my issue is maybe the disruption of the status quo. Whenever we have seen them it has always just been the 5 of us parents, BIL, DP and me and now there is a new person and the dynamic might be different idk

OP posts:
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