To not have cleaned the kitchen?

[TheSharpertheJuice]

This is probably a bit petty but I’d like to see if IWBU.

Husbands mum came round for brunch, she does every fortnight so not a one off or anything. He made them and DCs food- I didn’t want anything as I’m intermittent fasting and wasn’t due to break my fast until 1pm.

She left 3 hours later and he’s just got stroppy because ‘he cooked so I should clean up’.

AIBU to not have cleaned up after them given I didn’t participate in brunch?

Nah if you don't participate in the eating why should you participate in the prep/cleaning up! Clearly if you have very small kids between their parents they need to be fed but why should the woman clean up just because the man decides he wants food!
Given he complained about it I certainly wouldn't be cleaning up... that is entitled crap!

What did his last slave die of?

@TheSharpertheJuice

This is the one meal a fortnight my DH makes- usually I cook and clean up afterwards for us all whether I’m eating or not.

Ok so in that case the rule seems to be cook does the cleaning. Tell him that. He doesn’t get to change the rules for his benefit whenever he likes.

Personally in our house whoever cooks cleans up, so it depends on how you usually arrange it?

That surely only applies if all are eating. Will OP’s DP clean up after she has a later meal?

I’m with you OP. I might have chosen to do it, but I certainly wouldn’t feel I had to.

When I first got together with my DH [over 30 years ago], he moved into my tiny house. We agreed that one would cook and the other would tidy up afterwards.
I always tidy up as I go. My DH leaves everything like a bombsight.

I soon revised the agreement to whoever cooks ALWAYS cleans up!

So when you cook you clean up?

Take his offer!

From now on, as he wants, when you cook - he cleans and vice versa.

Thank him profusely for suggesting this. It's really going to lighten your load.

We’re the same as IamMaz- I always clean as I go (making sure that the kitchen is clean and tidy before I start so I can stack dishwasher as I go along). DH makes an almighty mess with disgusting pots full of filthy water stacked ramshackle all over the place and it makes me have palpitations when I see it. So I don’t clean it up. He does cooking shopping and bins. I do everything else. This has evolved over 20 years of marriage and he has these jobs as he hates a meal plan, can’t stay out of the shops, finishes work before I do every night and doesn’t think it’s a proper meal if you haven’t used a recipe.

@TheSharpertheJuice

This is the one meal a fortnight my DH makes- usually I cook and clean up afterwards for us all whether I’m eating or not.

So, then why does he think you should have cleaned the kitchen? What’s his argument?

Option b.
Send him back with his dm....

he’s just got stroppy because ‘he cooked so I should clean up’.

YANB. This is a transactional way of thinking. You don't tend to find it in people who have generosity of spirit.

Surely the point is what your husband said to your MiL? Did he laugh and say “now don’t be silly, TheSharpertheJuice does far more cooking and cleaning” or did he just keep quiet.

Oh! I misread! It wasn’t MiL’s comment!