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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I've been Wendied by stalker swinger

10 replies

Pinkspray · 14/01/2022 20:49

I will try and be succinct but this ridiculous story (although will seem far fetched) is sadly my reality.
In a nutshell...
I moved dd to a different primary a few villages away.
A mum from old school I knew contacted me as wanted to move her children also as she was having issue in old school we'll call her Wendy.

My dd settled into new school well made lots of friends and I became good friends with a few of the mums too.
Time moves on Wendy's waiting for places to come up at new school in this time we've met for coffee I realise we have some similar interests so invite her along with me and some of my friends (people I've know for years not the new mums) she meets them a few times and gets on OK.
Wendy then gets offered a place for her dc at the new school. She starts at the school I introduce her to the school mums I know (her dc are in different years but I wanted her to feel included).
Things get weird and fast. She takes it upon herself to throw me a surprise bday party inviting all the school mums and a couple of my friends but not the rest my dh and close friends thought this was a bit odd but thought she was trying to do something nice.
She's adding all my friends as her Facebook friends, joined a lot of local clubs and activities I do etc.
Im getting messages from people at old school saying to watch her she's weird, trouble with social services and that she was banned from school gate for threatening child.
She then starts gatecrashing nights I'm out with my friends or nights I'm out with mum friends.
One of these night she ends up getting uber home with my friend (close friend known years) basically got mate blind drunk then Wendy and w husband proposition friend. Friend was really upset about it all said she felt really vulnerable and had no issue with them being swingers but she obviously had no idea and they really trying to push into drunken sex which she did not have any interest in. She managed to get home.

Wendy denied all this when friend told me. Ive cut ties with Wendy. I've not told new school mums as I just kept out of Wendy. She is in my face constantly goes out of her way to be friend anyone I talk to.
She started volunteering at somewhere I volunteered for years.
She constantly giving me an evil stare at school.
Think the new school mums think I'm this horrible person who suddenly dropped her like a stone but can't go round telling this weird tale lll look as unhinged as Wendy. They've all befriended her and taken over my friendship group at the school.

My actual friends say don't let her get to you but it's really wearing me down

OP posts:
Pinkspray · 14/01/2022 20:50

Now I've read that titpe back I realise it sounds more Take a Break rather that mumsnet 🤔😁

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Pinkspray · 14/01/2022 21:07

Title rather

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Hotcuppatea · 14/01/2022 21:10

Well she sounds unhinged. If she's really this bad, she'll reveal herself eventually all on her own. You won't need to do or say anything.

FeckTheMagicDragon · 14/01/2022 21:11

Tell them that she & her husband put one of your friends in a difficult situation so you decided to cool things. Don’t name names or describe what she did, just let anyone know that you took a step back.

Pinkspray · 14/01/2022 21:21

I'm hoping so @hotcuppa she has form from what I've been told from contacts at old school she's quick to make friends and quick to fall out... It's not quick enough me though this is 3.5 years years down the line

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Georgeskitchen · 14/01/2022 21:24

I think it's time you had a quiet word with some of your friends!

KloppsTeeth · 14/01/2022 21:27

How awful, I really feel for you. Carry on as you are, these people always end up with a wake of chaos wherever they go, and people will work it out for themselves.

There was a woman very similar here, let’s call her Emma. Moved in, befriended people and all their friends, and she climbed and climbed up the social ladder. She how has nowhere to go and the rungs have been removed by people keen to avoid her. It is horrible if you’re one of the first to experience this in a group, but others will in time.

Realitea · 14/01/2022 21:33

Yes they’ll all find out eventually and you won’t need to say anything.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 14/01/2022 22:16

People like that almost always give themselves away in the end. They’ll have a new victim, pick on the wrong person or go waaaay overboard, and then people will see what they’re really like.

Keep your dignity and silence, and let Wendy get on with it.

Pinkspray · 15/01/2022 09:59

I have been silent so far the only thing I have said when a couple of people have noticed is that Wendy had a good friend of mine but nothing more.

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