Family member keeps borrowing money, AIBU to say no?

[WoodSageandSeasalt]

I earn slightly above average but as I'm single I don't have loads of spare cash - running a house on one salary isn't cheap! I do have enough for the odd treat though and also have some savings from my divorce settlement which I rely on for emergencies.

Family member who I'm fairly close to has been in and out of work most of their life and is not the best with money or being responsible.

They keep coming to me (and I know the ask other family members as well) to borrow money when they are short. They always pay it back but within a few weeks they're back asking for a short term loan again. It's only ever £50-100 but I usually need to borrow this from my savings as I don't always have it to spare depending on how far away payday is.

They have asked to borrow some money again today. AIBU to say no this time? On the one hand it doesn't really affect me as I have the money to lend but on the other I feel like a bit of a mug and also that it doesn't teach them anything about managing their finances if I keep bailing them out. But is it my responsibility to 'teach' an adult and should I just be a nice person and glad that I'm in a position to help?

Respond to their request for a loan by saying you had intended to ask them for a loan as you're short this month. Leave it hanging there.

Yanbu but I feel you're like me and a soft touch, I have a very dear friend who landed on hard times and they would ask to borrow £20 here and there and then they began to not pay it back. However when they asked again I was really feeling like a mug so instead of offering them the cash I said I would instead drop food or meals off if they were struggling...funnily enough they wanted the money for and they haven't asked again ...

Well done. Stay strong, and keep refusing. They will never stand on their own two feet if they know they have a back up option.

Good to read that you've said no but this should never have even been a question. Is there something from your childhood that makes you think you should always say yes?

By lending you are enabling their bad management of money. You are not obliged to lend money and they're not aware of what you might have spent or want savings for.
Just say you don't have it and suggest that you can help them create a budget. If they're borrowing and then paying back quickly then surely this is just a cash flow issue that can be resolved with better management.

If they are you’re family, and you love them AND they always pay it back, what’s the problem?

@anotherbloodyyearofcovid

Respond to their request for a loan by saying you had intended to ask them for a loan as you're short this month. Leave it hanging there.

Smart move. Text it don't have a conversation otherwise it could get messy and uncomfortable

Well done saying no, it's not easy. I've a family member who used to do the same but they never seem to be short of weed and only ever bought designer gear when they did have some money.

Well done saying no, it’s not easy to do because you feel bad but they need to sort themselves out like the rest of us had to.

You are not a bank, so just say at this moment in time you do not have the spare, apart from that, when April kicks in, you probably won’t have the spare by any means.if an adult has to keep asking for top ups then finance worries are definitely being hidden & need to be sorted out now with a plan before whatever lies beneath gets seriously out of control,it won’t be nice,it will be as always embarrassing but money matters need to be stabilised.