What would happen if this went back to court?

[HolidayHolidayHereICome]

I’ve booked a holiday for DD and I for later this year, it’s in the UK and we’re going with a family member who has a similar aged DC. DDs really excited. Its in the summer holidays so DD will not be missing any school.

I realised after booking it that it clashes with ExHs contact weekend, it was a total oversight. As soon as I realised I emailed him and offered that he take the weekend back whenever he wants apart from two specific weekends this year (when I have booked tickets for DD and I to do things), I even said if he wanted her for a whole 2 days in any school holiday to repay it he could have it.

There is a court order, which gives him 24 hours EOW and 1 extra day over Christmas. That’s it, no other contact at all. Since the order was made in 2018 I’ve cancelled contact twice once when DD had a sickness bug and just wanted to stay home and once when she had chicken pox because Ex-FIL has a compromised immune system and I didn’t want to risk it, both times I offered him extra contact when DD was well again. I have never changed contact at all since and even came back from my holiday early in 2018 with her so she didn’t miss contact while we were going through court (which the judge then told me I shouldn’t of done and that DD was expected to do normal things with both of us).

He’s told me he doesn’t give me permission to take DD on holiday that weekend and that if I insist he will take me back to court over it and “I will win, and maybe get even more time with her”.

We split due to violence and control on his part, he took me to court. And has taken me back once when I applied for schools for DD as he didn’t want her going to the school closest to me – he was told to stop being ridiculous and she ended up at the school closest to my house.

So what’s likely to happen if he does go back to court over it? Will they say I can’t take her away on those dates? Or is it likely they’d say that as I’ve offered the contact back and I don’t make a habit of changing contact. I’m away 6 nights, 7 days, Sat-the following Sunday so it also clashes with my weekend.

I think you were silly to book a hol on one of his weekends

Why? It’s broadly accepted that holidays can last 2 weeks plus. How would the OP manage to take such a holiday if she didn’t book over one of his weekends? Are you suggesting she can’t take holidays with her child of any length over than the number of days between contact?

Whilst a “lives with” order allows you to take your child abroad for up to a month without permission from you ExP, that does not give you the right to breach the spend time with order

It is not unreasonable that the OP takes a holiday with her child. There is no court expectation that anyone’s life is 100% bound 100% of the time by a court order. Obviously, there are parents who can’t communicate and court orders support this and make it easier for all concerned but no judge is going to deny anyone an annual holiday as a minimum. If she wanted to take her child abroad for 3 months, then yes, there’s an argument to be had but a week with huge notice and an offer to make up the time? The man is an absolute arsehole and will find out to his detriment. Hopefully it’ll cost him to find out.

@Sowhatifiam

I think you were silly to book a hol on one of his weekends

Why? It’s broadly accepted that holidays can last 2 weeks plus. How would the OP manage to take such a holiday if she didn’t book over one of his weekends? Are you suggesting she can’t take holidays with her child of any length over than the number of days between contact?

Well if he only has eow contact then yes she literally could have booked any other time, 1 week /10 days

Well if he only has eow contact then yes she literally could have booked any other time, 1 week /10 days

There are huge caveats with that though, aren’t there? The day the holidays start/end, availability at the time of booking, cost, etc etc. She can’t be expected to fit her life entirely around her ex. Courts will agree.

@Sowhatifiam

Whilst a “lives with” order allows you to take your child abroad for up to a month without permission from you ExP, that does not give you the right to breach the spend time with order

It is not unreasonable that the OP takes a holiday with her child. There is no court expectation that anyone’s life is 100% bound 100% of the time by a court order. Obviously, there are parents who can’t communicate and court orders support this and make it easier for all concerned but no judge is going to deny anyone an annual holiday as a minimum. If she wanted to take her child abroad for 3 months, then yes, there’s an argument to be had but a week with huge notice and an offer to make up the time? The man is an absolute arsehole and will find out to his detriment. Hopefully it’ll cost him to find out.

It is not unreasonable, and I said that I’m the post you’ve quoted, but it would place OP in breach of a Court order. If her ex is as much of a controlling arsehole as he seems to be, he could bring enforcement proceedings. The suggestion by some PPs that she can do what she wants for 30 days is completely wrong in law.