Wow! That's a lot of money!
My dd is at uni now but at this age phone was part of Xmas/birthday when upgraded and WASN'T the latest model - as new but not latest model
Package was cheapest going and these days there's really no need for huge packages.
As to the rest...I feel you've really left it too late to have much success with changing things without a battle on your hands!
This is why it's best to have them doing chores and understanding that everyone in a household needs to contribute to that household from a young age (in age appropriate ways) and their responsibilities scaled up as they age.
At the VERY LEAST they should be :
Keeping their rooms clean and tidy
Tidying up after themselves elsewhere in the home
Keeping up good grades at school and no disciplinary issues
Doing at least one chore that benefits the whole house at least once a week
Cooking once a week
Imo
In addition I had the following rules on phones :
Not used after bedtime
Only allowed to have membership on sm accounts at age appropriate points
I was allowed to check it any time I felt it necessary and this inc having access to sm and messaging accounts - I basically took the stance I was paying for it and so I was only loaning it to dd. Plus I was the parent and needed to check it for her safety and well-being. I was proven right on this when she was being bullied by former friends at one stage and hadn't told me lots of nasty messages being sent to her.
Not at the dinner table/meal times
Not when she was meant to be visiting with relatives she was to be engaged and polite not nose stuck in phone at these times
How exactly will she manage if she goes to uni and has to do all her laundry, shopping, cooking, cleaning plus uni work?
Absolutely! Juggling work and life chores are a necessary skill!
My dd is at uni now but went later than 18 (she'll be 21 next month) and worked full time and had her own place for about 18 months before deciding to go back to education. Around the same time her schoolmates we're heading off to uni and the ones who had been mollycoddled at home really struggled!
It's not doing them any favours not teaching them to manage chores, time management, budgets etc
I do think you're in a situation where you need to put your foot down but it's gonna be REALLY difficult when you've been letting them away with this most of their lives!
And by "you" I inc any other parent too.
Do they even KNOW how to do laundry, cooking, cleaning?
I was considered by my dd to be "strict" certainly when she was younger but by having clear expectations and boundaries as she got older I was actually able to ease off as she knew what my limits were and knew I was no pushover!
Eg if I said "no" to something that was that! There was no debate, no negotiation. She had a curfew that if she broke she got grounded etc but as she got older I was able to trust her to communicate sensibly with me, discuss sensible alternatives etc and I could trust her to be sensible.
But I've seen and discussed with the parents where her schoolmates/peers parents were quite lax until they were 15/16 then the kids went a bit wild and the parents were worried sick and THEN tried to come down hard and it just mostly didn't work!
It's only an argument if you engage with it.
Totally agree!
You need to have a clear assertive and no nonsense stance and way of responding.
Have a "this is not a democracy" approach, your house (that you pay ALL the bills for) your rules - but again I think that's gonna be really hard to instigate this late on!
Perhaps have a family meeting and set some rules? But reasonable ones and don't be pushed into giving in!