AIBU to think parenting is very rewarding but the lifestyle sucks?

[9ofpentangles]

Of course, it is awesome to see them grow into a young adult (speaking as someone with a child who is nearly 18) and have the development of a bond that evolves beautifully at each stage.

However, by the lifestyle sucking, I mean all the drudge that goes with it - extra washing, extra mess, extra paperwork, all the things to remember for school, the expense, all the worry and the lack of time.

This is particularly true if you are a woman (still).

Thoughts?

I mean, sometimes I find even these aspects rewarding... when it's going okay I'm proud of how I manage to juggle everything. I enjoy tidying up kids stuff and love that our floors are full of toys (less fond of all the stains and bits of food mind). But my God it is A LOT, isn't it...!!!

(I have two toddlers!)

Completely agree.

I adore my children but God I can’t help but think about how much easier life would be without them.

I know a couple who chose not to have children and they have the most amazing lifestyle - such a carefree and happy life. Not that I’m jealous…..

I agree that the extra washing/cleaning/organising is a pain but I think there are lots of "lifestyle" benefits too.

The days out are nice - obviously you can go on days out without DC but a 4 year old is going to be a lot more excited at seeing a deer at the park than an adult is, and you can go to fun "kids" places without feeling odd - eg BIL is taking our DC out to digger land (because he wants to drive the diggers!)

Plus you tend to have a ready made community built around nursery/school. I feel like I bump into people I know all the time now.

I do agree but pre kids I felt under used and less fulfilled. Now v fulfilled and totally overworked.

I think a mistake that people make is assuming that all childfree people are filling their time with all the things that the bechilded can't do any more. And sure some are. And just the extra money and free time (and sleep) must be nice. But lots of those people will just be killing time, watching Netflix, lounging around, tidying up same as the rest of us. It's not all holidays and pol dancing lessons.

Lifestyle quality really low for years 0-6, after that I think it's on a par with child free lifestyle, as there is less drudge, fewer restrictions and more fun.

Oh yeah. Absolutely. Sometimes I cannot BELIEVE that instead of one set of teeth to care about I have 5! Twice a day! And the food, again keeping 5 people happy and the relentless task of not just making it, serving it, cleaning up but actually getting them to eat it!

The drudgery around getting up, feeding, entertaining and bloody bedtime is horrendous.

100 per cent with this, especially I adore my children but God I can’t help but think about how much easier life would be without them.

Nothing is easy with toddlers. I don’t want to wish childhood away but I can’t wait until I don’t have to constantly supervise.

Is it even rewarding? 🤔

Yes the lifestyle does suck. And it doesn’t get better when they’re 6 so don’t hold on to that hope lol I’m not too sure about the rewarding part a lot of the time either

You’re right!

I think it takes a massive toll on you physically as well. I don’t mean just in terms of attractiveness, I mean health wise! If you don’t make a conscious effort to take care of yourself you can end up doing very little for your health and paying the price.

*I think it takes a massive toll on you physically as well. I don’t mean just in terms of attractiveness….”

I completely blame my children for the change in my appearance - which is not for the better.

I hate looking at photos of me pre-children now. I find it very depressing.