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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

First date

22 replies

thisandthat123 · 13/01/2022 09:34

Someone from Hinge has been messaging me for three months
We got chatting as we are in the same profession. (My friend works alongside him and affirms he seems sweet)
He also recognised me from being a dancer in movies from his country

I had to cancel last first date as I had COVID

We have rearranged first date and to my surprise he bought me tickets for a fancy concert front row seats at the concert hall. The concert is someone who I knew from being a dancer (quite thoughful)

I have gone on a few first dates and no one has ever put in this amount of effort

We text every few days or so but never phone call. I felt this date suggestion was a bit out of proportion for our relationship thus far (!)

AIBU / AIBU (Ungrateful)

OP posts:
shropshire11 · 13/01/2022 10:00

How is this a question? Are you considering not going on the date?

daimbarsatemydogsbone · 13/01/2022 10:02

What is you AIBU?

girlmom21 · 13/01/2022 10:02

I think he sounds lovely.

shouldistop · 13/01/2022 10:02

He bought you the tickets or he bought tickets to go there on a date with you?

Trippingslippingx1 · 13/01/2022 10:05

He bought ‘us’ tickets and sent me screenshot of those tickets. They are on the balcony and must have cost a fortune. :-o

Tal45 · 13/01/2022 10:05

It's full on for a first date. Who knows if it's because he's a really nice thoughtful guy or some sort of bunny boiler. The only way to find out is to go out with him and find out.

shouldistop · 13/01/2022 10:08

@Trippingslippingx1

He bought ‘us’ tickets and sent me screenshot of those tickets. They are on the balcony and must have cost a fortune. :-o
I don't see the problem. You're going on a date together and he thought of something you'd enjoy. Maybe he has lots of disposable income or maybe he knows someone and got cheap tickets.
Trippingslippingx1 · 13/01/2022 10:12

My AIBU was - Is this a bit much for a first date - ‘love bombing’ etc?

liveforsummer · 13/01/2022 10:15

Firstly it's better not to change your name half way through a thread. Makes it difficult to follow. Secondly he may not have paid for the tickets. Possibly a connection or a present etc

RogueV · 13/01/2022 10:16

Just be gracious and accept it!

Hunderland · 13/01/2022 10:17

A) you've been talking for three months and B) just because that's the price on them doesn't mean that's what he paid for them

A friend of mine had this and was super impressed. After date 3 he told her he got them for £10 as part of a work perk...

Go and see what he's like, you have nothing to lose!

Siepie · 13/01/2022 10:18

It does sound like quite a lot for a first date, but then you've been speaking for 3 months which is quite a long time to speak before meeting in person. You have a better idea whether you already like each other than people who go on a first date after only a few messages, so it makes sense that he'd put more effort in.

I wouldn't leap straight to love-bombing, unless you have another reason to think he might have an ulterior movite?

girlmom21 · 13/01/2022 10:18

@Trippingslippingx1

My AIBU was - Is this a bit much for a first date - ‘love bombing’ etc?
A thoughtful gift on its own isn't lovebombing
HikingforScenery · 13/01/2022 10:21

Maybe he wants to go to this concert snd has no one to go with. Don’t think too much of it

Trippingslippingx1 · 13/01/2022 10:24

He knows I know this singer due to my time
abroad. As he is from that county and I used to work there he put 2 and 2 together.

He definately did not get them on discount. 🤣

I suppose as we are colleagues also - if we did not have that attraction we could end up being friends?

Should I start to ask for chats on the phone to add some
Depth to connection? I hate all this texting back and forward

onewednesdayindecember · 13/01/2022 10:24

If he recognised you as being a dancer in movies from his country then he probably thinks you’re a real catch and I’m not surprised that he’s trying to impress you. I would think it’s a nice gesture and go, especially as you’ve been speaking to him for so long.

Milkshake54 · 13/01/2022 10:25

I think you are reading way to much into it. Go on the date, hopefully you'll have a good time and see where you go from there! ☺️

CharlotteRose90 · 13/01/2022 10:29

Would be too full on for me sorry. Something like that isn’t a first date.

liveforsummer · 13/01/2022 10:29

Surely if they are such good seats and the date is relatively soon it's very unlikely he just went online and purchased them? Surely those would have been snapped up months ago and he probably has just come about them in another way. Doesn't mean he'll own up to that right now if trying to impress

Trippingslippingx1 · 13/01/2022 10:32

@CharlotteRose90

Would be too full on for me sorry. Something like that isn’t a first date.
This was also my instinct.

I asked to meet for walk and coffee week before to suss situation out.

Trippingslippingx1 · 13/01/2022 10:33

@liveforsummer

Surely if they are such good seats and the date is relatively soon it's very unlikely he just went online and purchased them? Surely those would have been snapped up months ago and he probably has just come about them in another way. Doesn't mean he'll own up to that right now if trying to impress
The singer is from an eastern background and I live in a very deprived city - where I imagine not many people have heard of her as she is from abroad.
caringcarer · 13/01/2022 14:47

It is on a public place. Just meet up outside and have a great evening. Stick to public place meet ups for first few dates.

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