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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Isolating with seriously ill child

29 replies

Dotty08 · 13/01/2022 06:08

Hey mumsnet
So I have a four month old baby with a serious heart defect.

She spent the first two months of her life in hospital and has already undergone one open heart surgery. She is due for another urgent open heart surgery in the next few weeks.

She is a very unwell child but as with all heart babies you wouldn’t necessarily know it by looking at her.

When we came home originally she did meet all of our family - with masks on. We used to visit my partners parents weekly for the first month and his parents came to ours once a week too but every visit was so scary as they aren’t on board with wearing masks around her. Or wearing masks in general and they are just going about life as normal. Holidays, regular visits to the pub and large events (not judging at all life has to go on but for us atm it can’t).

Anyway after advice from her consultant and nurses that come out to her on a weekly basis we are now isolating and not seeing anyone at all. This is because of the risk of Covid and also even just a cold! We’ve been told if she gets even a cold she could be so ill she’d end up back in NICU.

The only person we do see is my mother because she is also isolating and only sees us.

I know my mother in law thinks we’re being OTT and continuously asks to see us, tries to guilt trip us and is getting very angry when we say no. She says we can’t do this we have to see her and we can’t isolate forever.

We aren’t trying to isolate forever though just until after our child has her operation and is recovered because at this point she should have a more functioning heart and more oxygen rich blood getting to her lungs.

AIBU to isolate? I’m just trying to keep my child safe but is it too extreme?

OP posts:
Rrrob · 13/01/2022 09:00

Yanbu, do whatever is necessary to protect her. Your mil can sod off. Dd1 had a serious respiratory condition and died as a baby in 2019 after catching a flu virus from a friend who was selfish enough to come to our house when ill. It sounds extreme and most people won’t understand the severity of the risk.

Good luck with the surgery and enjoy your newborn bubble!

SnappedAndFarted18 · 13/01/2022 09:14

OP don’t ever let your mil (or anybody else for that matter) make you feel guilty/like a bad person for wanting to protect your little one if mil wants to see your DD so badly she can always FaceTime/video call on WhatsApp/messenger etc granted it’s not the same but the main thing is to keep your little one safe & protected! I’m sorry to hear about your DD’s heart defect & I truly hope her operation goes well ❤️ Also you’re doing an amazing job I can’t even imagine how stressful & worrying it must be for you, don’t doubt yourself you’re most definitely doing the right thing Smile xx

HW1989 · 13/01/2022 09:28

Your MIL sounds incredibly selfish and dismissive of your daughters health needs. Very understandable that she’d like to see her and I completely agree that in normal situations life needs to go on as normal, but for you your daughters health comes first.
Don’t give it another thought. If your MIL is that concerned about seeing her granddaughter she will isolate, wear a mask, and test before seeing her.
Best of luck for your daughters recovery.

millymolls · 13/01/2022 09:48

Irrespective of covid, your consultant has said to isolate and minimise the possibility of picking up anything until the op. Therefore, that’s what you should do and it’s tough on your mil.
Why would your mil want to put unnecessary risks onto your baby ??

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