Background is having my first child very nearly killed me, and was left with both life changing injuries and PTSD. I am now pregnant again, slightly sooner than expected as it took us a long time to conceive last time, but I am genuinely pleased. I am 12 weeks but have told nobody. Only told my husband after I'd had the 12 week scan as I needed time to decide whether I could cope with going through having another baby given what happened last time, and didn't want to feel pressured. Anyway, so I was refreshing memory on timeline for mat certs, informing employer etc, mat leave entitlement and didn't realise that you could delay informing employer until 15 weeks before due date at the latest. I want to keep it a secret for as long as possible to avoid all the inevitable how exciting, how wonderful, OMG what will you call it blah blah blah - yes, yes I am quite miserable 😅 but also just a private person and in managing my PTSD I don't want to fixate on what happened last time.
However, I recently found out that my boss is currently undergoing fertility treatment as she would like a second child (she asked me to swap a shift due to having medical appointments). I had no idea about her struggles with the previous pregnancy as it was long before I started my job. I cannot bring myself to tell her my news as it just feels like I am gloating and it must seem like an absolute kick in the teeth. Obviously I have to tell her at some point, but what if her treatment turns out not to be successful?
I am finding this VERY stressful. I don't know what to do. I don't dare discuss it with anyone else at work (people that know her better than me) as you know how 'secrets' travel in the office...
Do I tell her face to face out of respect or in writing so if she finds it really difficult and upsetting, as she is perfectly entitled too, she doesn't have the embarrassment of crying or breaking down in front of me?
Arrrgh. Please offer some wisdom. I'm literally at the should I look for a new job phase. 🤯🤯🤯