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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband's arsey partner - Advice

14 replies

ShapeBandit77 · 12/01/2022 20:02

My DH work partner is a total arse. They have been partners for almost 20 years and put down an initial investment of50/50. He has just never pulled his weight and is lazy by design and just takes shortcuts which end in disaster. It is now so bad, that my DH is contemplating leaving the company which he has in reality, single handedly built. This chap makes a lot of noise, but contributes very little and has a very small portfolio within the company. Mainly because every single task he gets given, he messes up or delays because of inertia? DH has covered for him for many years as we have a lot of mutual friends, but his incompetence is just too alarming. I don't think he/we can keep the facade going much longer as it is just very stressful. Esp during and post covid. My hubby worked basically 24/7 to keep everyone employed (furloughed) while he just coasted along. The partner comes from money and has just been gifted things his entire life and is entitled. He thinks he is woke but it is the opposite. Cringe jokes in work place, have been accused of racism etc ... The list of infractions and mico aggressions are endless. The problem is that it will affect age old friendships and I'm scared I will lose dear friends as a result. What to do... Husband's sanity is at stake and mine as I have to listen to this old tale daily for at least 30 -60minutes:
a) leave role and start new business taking all clients and employees (nobody would choose to stay with the other guy as he is abrasive with clients too)
B) continue to run business with man child as a partner.

Ps: he has asked him to leave in the past but he refuses as he knows he has landed in the butter.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 12/01/2022 20:04

Can your husband afford to buy him out? I'm guessing not if the guys from money anyway?

ShapeBandit23 · 12/01/2022 20:11

No we can't, we have a mortgage and that is just the thing, he doesn't and is in a very cushy position. Got given money for deposit by folks etc... We've had to work for everything. 😔

Totalwasteofpaper · 12/01/2022 20:15

Get your husband to Google sunk cost fallacy.
Then ask how life would look now if he had got out in 2010...?

Then tell him to get out now and start building his own business.

wildseas · 12/01/2022 20:19

How about something in the middle?

DH raises the unequal workload constructively as a joint conversation about what does the future of the business look like in 5 years.

Partner "semi-retires" and works eg 2 days a week from home. DH continues to work 5 days. Profit is split 2:5 despite ownership shares.

Partner becomes "sleeping partner" and is paid x per month whilst doing no work at all but still having the kudos. He comes to x,y,z important senior level meetings to "keep his hand in"

Or something along those lines?

ShapeBandit23 · 12/01/2022 20:20

Thank you, will check that out. Flowers

ShapeBandit23 · 12/01/2022 20:22

Ooh, that is interesting. He was saying the other day that he will give him a "project" to keep him busy just to keep him out of his hair. Insane situation.

Lightswitch123 · 12/01/2022 20:23

I'm amazed your DH didn't leave years ago!

ShapeBandit23 · 12/01/2022 20:30

I know right. We were raising our family... I went on mat leave and also had job insecurity. The kids are slightly older now and we had a lot of time to think about his options during the pandemic. My hubby also genuinely loves what he does and is invested... Just has wrong BP. Not one original idea... Angry

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 12/01/2022 20:32

Get out. It wont get any better. But check there is nothing about not competing first.

Bluetrews25 · 12/01/2022 20:36

Name change fail, OP.

ShapeBandit23 · 12/01/2022 20:38

Good shout. Thanks x

AuntyFungal · 12/01/2022 20:38

Name change fail OP

Will affect those of us who colour code OPs. Your subsequent posts might get missed on a busy thread.

ShapeBandit23 · 12/01/2022 20:39
Blush
ShapeBandit23 · 12/01/2022 20:40

It is my first ever post and hopefully last. I'm a voyeur Grin

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