Name changed as I’m going to be vulnerable in the sharing the soul destroying journey that is job hunting.
I have been actively applying a new job for a year now. I was happy in my last job and went on maternity leave for a year when the organisation went through some major struggles and change of management, then lockdown happened and everything went horribly wrong for them and I lost my job. It was difficult knowing I didn’t have a job to return too but I tried to have a positive outlook and thought I’d stay home with my baby while looking for jobs as they come in.
That was a year ago and I’ve just not had any luck yet. I’ve probably applied to over 100 jobs and only apply to roles I can actually do/have done before. The applications are long (taking me about 2-3 days to complete). I’m always tailoring CV, personal statements etc to the job specifications.
The worst part in all of it is that many companies don’t seem to communicate outcomes? Usually I don’t hear anything back at all which is so frustrating. Or I get an interview, prepare presentations etc only to not hear anything back.
I think I had 10 interviews in the 6 months and there are two incidents that stick out.
I was really excited about one job and prepared a presentation as requested, prepared all weekend for it. I thought it went great, they were very happy. At the end of the interview the woman asked me
about a painting in background and she and said something along the lines of “ can’t wait to talk to you in the office about that!” So I thought, that sounds promising… Rejected. With no further feedback.
The last interview, again a long presentation and all that stuff, interview was great. They made a comment at the end that they can really see me a part of their team. And ended with “we will call you tomorrow with the outcome, but I wouldn’t worry too much Haha! “ So I thought great, this is it! But no, they didn’t call. Or respond to emails a week later when I got in touch…
These are well known organisations too and I am quite surprised with their conduct to be honest. Especially since their ethos are all about well-being and looking after people! 
It’s all been so time consuming and soul destroying. I’m awaiting to hear back from 3 places atm but I am not hopeful at all.
DH is very supportive and I love being with my toddler but wanting to go back to work isn’t about them, it’s just about me finding something for myself I guess. The biggest thing I’ve lost is my motivation/ aspirations and that’s always been a big part of me.
I have considered doing a masters and have two uni offers for a course in September that would make me more desirable to the field I’m in, but not always a requirement. I do enjoy academia so I am considering this option but I guess right now I’m just a bit disappointed with myself.
Just felt like I needed to get that all out as I’ve been stuck in my head lately. Thanks for reading if you got this far! 