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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU-Sick of the narrative that young people can’t buy homes?

439 replies

Henryhoover12 · 12/01/2022 17:04

I had a heated discussion with some friends who said it’s “impossible for young people to get on the property ladder these days”.If they do their parents either lent them the money, gifted them the money or they lived at home rent free to save up. It’s not just my friends a lot of people of this age go on about it.

As a young person myself I’m bloody sick of this narrative, anything can be done if your willing to make sacrifices and prioritise for your goals which most young people aren’t. I purchased my own 4 bedroom home at 22 (few months ago) WITHOUT any help from family and whilst paying rent on a flat WITHOUT help from my family to pay for.

I called out all my friends who are blaming how it’s going on their ability to stop online shopping for new outfits every event, going out for cocktails, getting hair/nails/tan done weekly, Taking flashy cars out on finance, etc. that if they stopped then they to could buy but I got told I was being extremely unreasonable and that it’s impossible, well is it or do they not just like to hear the truth.

OP posts:
falalalalalalablahblah · 12/01/2022 18:14

cough BULLSHIT cough

Walking4You · 12/01/2022 18:15

@Henryhoover12

I just think young people want everything handed to them. I saw it even in university the level of entitlement “oh my parents need to pay for this”. But why? Your parents aren’t the ones who chose to come to uni or benefit from the degree. Going to uni is a luxury so why should your parents foot the bill. “Oh our grandparents had it so much easier” yes they did but guess what complaining won’t make it better. Work hard and you’ll get there.
Yawn….

I would have hoped that whilst at university, you had learnt about critical thinking and that not everyone is in the same boat.
I mean yes you bought a house in wales. Great.
So you really think that someone on the same wage than you would have been able to buy a house/flat in London ?? Knowing the cost of rent there.

gogohm · 12/01/2022 18:15

I bought my first flat at 21 in London a year after graduating but this was the 1990's and I bought in south London before it was fashionable ! I had no help except living at my parents for £10 a week groceries contribution and nobody had mobiles then

Original poster
Henryhoover12 · 12/01/2022 18:15

For the record. I do apologise but I thought it was clear when I said it was my house. This is is MY house 100%. My partner was also similar minded to me and has his money invested elsewhere. We keep our finances separate, just works for us really.

And again my friend also has a partner who she wants to buy with and his family have even offered them money but they know they’ll just splash it all.

OP posts:
Walking4You · 12/01/2022 18:17

Wow aren’t you wonderful. And absolutely not judgmental .

I’d hate to be your friend tbh.

Chely · 12/01/2022 18:17

We bought in our early 20's and we had a child. We were lucky enough to benefit from a very good 1st time buyers scheme, if we hadn't it would have taken us much longer to get on the ladder. It is much harder even with sacrifices these days, the developer that built ours is building not far away and a house the same size cost £60k more than we paid.

pucelleauxblanchesmains · 12/01/2022 18:17

Aren't you a special snowflake OP?

PinkArt · 12/01/2022 18:18

Oh you have a husband!!!!! Well that massively changes things, doesn't it?! Considerably different scenario once two salaries are in the mix. I was trying to work out if you had to be on a way above the average salary for your age group or somehow borrowed at 8 x to be able to buy a £200k place, but two people on around £25k it's much more understandable, although it does mean that 'I purchased my own 4 bedroom home' isn't true, is it? 'I' didn't buy, 'we' bought.

PiesNotGuys · 12/01/2022 18:18

I bought my first house at 21 OP. In a good area of a major city. Why did you wait until you were 22? Slacking really.

DrSbaitso · 12/01/2022 18:18

I'm really impressed. OP has returned and interacted. That takes effort. They're usually one shot wind-em-up-and-watch-em-go jobs.

Original poster
Henryhoover12 · 12/01/2022 18:18

@pucelleauxblanchesmains surely I’m completely the opposite of a snowflake as I’m not entitled and willing to work hard

OP posts:
OrangeCinnamonCocktail · 12/01/2022 18:18

@Henryhoover12

I’m not smug at all, I’m proud that I worked hard and a had a good head on my shoulders to invest in a home then finance a car and splash on fast fashion so that I could be smug over Instagram.

All of this is stuff I say to my friends and most of them actually agree. They know they can do it but moaning about it is the easier option. Do they want to stop online shopping and going for cocktails, not right now but they will one day as they will realise okay we do need to buy a house and this is how to do it.

I think your life will be much enhanced , you'd feel less sick and tired of your friends if you just accepted them for who they are and keep your advice to yourself after any initial giving. If they moan at you change the subject to something lighter. It all sounds terribly boring for a bunch of 22year olds.
toomuchlaundry · 12/01/2022 18:18

Do you have student debt?

TravellingSpoon · 12/01/2022 18:18

@Henryhoover12

For the record. I do apologise but I thought it was clear when I said it was my house. This is is MY house 100%. My partner was also similar minded to me and has his money invested elsewhere. We keep our finances separate, just works for us really.

And again my friend also has a partner who she wants to buy with and his family have even offered them money but they know they’ll just splash it all.

If your married that wont matter.
VestaTilley · 12/01/2022 18:19

It depends on the part of the country you’re in and whether you’re a super saver and/or well paid.

Three friends in London did it entirely alone (two of the three are a couple, but no family help) - the couple bought a tiny 1 bed flat in zone 4/5 and traded up, being sensible with money. The single friend bought using shared ownership and after living more frugally than can have been fun in London. Another friend bought alone in London using Help to Buy, and another did it with H2B then traded up quickly because she earns mega bucks.

DH and I could’ve done it if we’d really scrimped through our twenties, but DH went back to uni, we paid for our own wedding and I wanted us to travel for a few months. In the end we saved some towards a deposit and we’re lent £12k by each set of parents.

So YANBU, it is technically possible, but it’s very hard unless you live in cheap parts of the country like my in laws, or earn huge salaries or scrimp like mad.

Comedycook · 12/01/2022 18:20

[quote Henryhoover12]@Sugarsugar25 thank you, I think it’s my roots that exactly got me to where I am. Never had support and never grew up in a life of luxury so I knew I always had to work hard for my self which i did.[/quote]
Did you live with your parents rent free before buying your house? If so, that's support

Madhatterrrrr · 12/01/2022 18:20

What a strange goady post. Why are you so bothered about what other people do? Other people may also prioritise memories, experiences and travel at 22 over sitting in a house every weekend.

FWIW I too would be able to buy a 200k property but where I live (London) that would probably get you a crumbling down bedsit that someone had died in whereas a 4 bed house is about 850k so making judgements of a huge group of people based on your specific circumstances is stupid Hmm

GratefullyDecline · 12/01/2022 18:20

anything can be done if your willing to make sacrifices and prioritise for your goals

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I bought my first house at 26 and was the first one of my friends then, but I'm not stupid enough to believe this.

If only life were that black and white for everyone.

Crystalvas · 12/01/2022 18:20

@WoodenReindeer

I think she/a similarnposter did this before but lived at home rent free while they saved maybe?
Thats probably her Grin
NoNameHere12 · 12/01/2022 18:20

Doesn’t matter if it’s your house, being married gives you a larger mortgage-end of.

You wouldn’t have that if you wasn’t married.

DinaofCloud9 · 12/01/2022 18:20

Where did you go travelling and for how long?

TolkiensFallow · 12/01/2022 18:20

So you’re only talking about wales? The cheapest 1 bed flat where I live is £250k

toomuchlaundry · 12/01/2022 18:21

I’m amazed you have any friends if you keep criticising their spending

Calmdown14 · 12/01/2022 18:21

I think you have a valid point OP.
If you lived in the south east, of course it would be harder but in lots of areas it is possible. Similarly once people move in houses seem to need everything immaculate and to look insta ready. I'm amazed watching Location, location at the things people couldn't possibly live with!
I am astounded by what people spend. It's the same a decade or so up - they have dog walkers, gym membership, takeaways, meals to cook delivered to the door.
We have a much lower household income but a smaller mortgage (we overpay) and savings.
Like you I worked throughout uni and saved. It makes a massive difference.
I can now work part time and really don't ever want to do full time again.
But we are only comfortable because I remain really careful with money, have never spent.£60 on a hair cut and never had my nails done.

RitaFires · 12/01/2022 18:22

I wouldn't have wanted to commit to buying a house at 22, I still wasn't sure where I would want to live on a more permanent basis. Your friend might not be ready to settle down yet and seems to enjoy spending her money on other stuff, that's a valid choice too. She might be saying she can't afford it but meaning she doesn't want to take that step yet.

Getting on the housing ladder isn't the be all and end all and buying too soon can limit career options and make people stay in unsuitable relationships because they feel they need to stay in the house. Flexibility can be good too. It's fine to not have everything worked out at 22, it sounds like you're being too harsh on your friend.

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