AIBU-Sick of the narrative that young people can’t buy homes?

[Henryhoover12]

I had a heated discussion with some friends who said it’s “impossible for young people to get on the property ladder these days”.If they do their parents either lent them the money, gifted them the money or they lived at home rent free to save up. It’s not just my friends a lot of people of this age go on about it.

As a young person myself I’m bloody sick of this narrative, anything can be done if your willing to make sacrifices and prioritise for your goals which most young people aren’t. I purchased my own 4 bedroom home at 22 (few months ago) WITHOUT any help from family and whilst paying rent on a flat WITHOUT help from my family to pay for.

I called out all my friends who are blaming how it’s going on their ability to stop online shopping for new outfits every event, going out for cocktails, getting hair/nails/tan done weekly, Taking flashy cars out on finance, etc. that if they stopped then they to could buy but I got told I was being extremely unreasonable and that it’s impossible, well is it or do they not just like to hear the truth.

House prices have gone up to ridiculous levels, so I do think it's a lot less likely that a young couple doing the same jobs that DH and I had in 1977 would be able to buy the same house that we bought then.

However, I do agree that some people do seem to want to have their cake and eat it, so to speak.

I watched a reality/help type of TV programme a couple of months ago. There was a youngish couple with 2 children who were renting their home but wanted to buy. They said they "couldn't afford to save" for the deposit, but they had 2 cars, 2 holidays each year, expensive hobbies (the husband had 3 bikes, for example) and were always buying new things for the children or for their home.
The basic premise of the programme was that money can be saved by buying cheaper versions, which they called "swapping". It was SO irritating! The couple "didn't like" most of the suggestions. They disliked the alternative holiday cottage because it didn't have this, that and the other etc.
OMG! I was shouting at the telly by that point! "FFS!", I yelled "you can't have both!" If you a serious about wanting to save for a deposit then:-
Don't just "swap" one of your holidays, instead cancel both of them and stay at home!
Sell your expensive bikes and go without.
Only buy clothes when the old ones are worn through or outgrown.
Buy the children's clothes (and your own if available) from charity shops.
Go to car boot sales or charity shops to buy the children's toys for Christmas.
Stop going out to the Theatre, cinema etc.
Always take a homemade packed lunch to work, instead of buying lunch.
Limit going out for a meal to once every 3 months - and only drink tap water with the meal, to keep costs down.
Learn to enjoy activities that are free, such as walking.
Cancel your subscriptions to Netflix etc and just watch whatever is on Freeview instead.

There is a lot of money frittered away on unnecessary things. That's absolutely fine if that's what people want to spend their money on. But they must understand that they can only spend it once!

Disclaimer: this of course only applies to people who do actually have enough money to save, but choose to spend it instead and then moan that they can't afford to save, can't afford a pension etc. Obviously, it does not apply to people on low incomes who have barely enough to pay for the essentials.

[quote Henryhoover12]@ninnynonny no I can’t see that because that’s exactly my point. As both Person A and Person B live in the same area, want to buy in the same area, earn the same amount so what’s stopping them from buying when they both can? For person B it’s that they want all the little luxuries in life such as her car, clothes, cocktails but then moans she can’t buy when she can if she just made it her priority.

I’m not comparing buying in wales and buying in London[/quote]
If you are friends with person B you sound like you don't like them very much. So what if B wants to have a nice car? She still gets to want that and a house, you know.

The smugometer is off the scale with you.

I’m in the East Mids and manky 2 bed terraces sell for 250K now.

So nope, I won’t be buying unless some long forgotten random relative leaves me some mega money.

Your being very cagey about the details OP, us mere mortals want to know so we can aspire to be like you.

You say you haven't had help from family, have you purchased a house alone or is there a partner on the scene?

Is it a freehold or leasehold property?

Do you own a share of the property or the whole thing? Did you use the help to buy scheme?

Aren’t you lucky?

My ds hardly spends anything. He’s struggling to buy a one bedroom flat.

Could you share how you did this?

went to uni , so presumably have student debt , travelled a bit which costs money and just bought a 4 bedroom home at 22 with no help at all , yes of course you have dear

@darkNlovely

The point of the op is NO help at all. Not possible, sorry. Without even living at home? Nah.

I agree.

You overegged it with the four bedroom house, travelling post uni and barely being into your 20’s.

I call fantasist.

Has your friend also been married for several years, as you have? Because having a spouse who has contributed half the deposit, will be paying half the mortgage, and with whom you share living costs is a lot of an easier and less scary prospect than being a young, single person trying to do it all alone.

You live in Wales so that’s not impressive at all.
At the age of 22 I would have been able to buy 2 of your 4 bedrooms houses outright and get a mortgage on a 3rd.
I live in a 3 bedroom terraced house just outside south east London…..wanna guess how many 22 year olds can do what you did in this area?

1. how did I manage to save- well not spend it not sure how else to explain that one? When everyone else is splashing out on the latest designer gear I just didn’t. 2)for the millionth time I have purchased in wales so yes it’s cheaper then wales. 3)I don’t get what sharing my private details will help with this but my house was £200k. So no it wasn’t £50k but not sure why that would be bad anyway? I won’t say my salary because I don’t feel comfortable but I’m sure you can do the math. 4)I say “young people” because it’s a hot topic around a lot of people my age, we were having this discussion with a big group of young people lots of people on both sides of the fence. I keep mentioned my friend as she was the one that kicked off but she’s in the exact same position as me so I thought good comparison.
2. yes I know wales is cheaper but then that’s also a sacrifice surely? Wouldn’t we all want to live in the Center of London but that’s not an option.
3. I didn’t work for 1 year I worked for 7 since I was 16

Think that’s all the answers

I agree and disagree OP. I think that there's a culture amongst younger people that it is impossible to buy a house with an inheritance, prices have rocketed etc because in many areas it really is true, even though in some areas there hasn't been the same price inflation.

I read something interesting recently that explained that people in this generation are expecting that they won't be able to buy a house, so aren't saving for deposits or home improvements, but are instead spending their income on 'experiences'. I guess that's having fancy coffee, buying clothes, the nice car etc. So whilst I agree that your friends may well have been able to buy a house in your particular area if they didn't spend so much on "stuff", but I think it's unfair to give them a hard time because I think that generation are constantly being told it's not do-able, that there's no point trying to buy a house, and there's a social expectation that they spend their income on stuff.

@Henryhoover12

Can people just read what I’m saying instead of asking the same questions that I’ve already answered. My point is and remains: that person A (me) who earns roughly the same salary as person B (my friend) can buy a house in the area we both live in as a young person as it is possible. However person B wants to do that whilst having her cake and eating it to of having a flashy car that she can’t really afford, going out every weekend, ordering stuff on klarna every other day and that she can’t really moan that the opportunity isn’t there for her. Also it’s coming from a place of frustration not gloating as actually person B lives rent free at home where as I was paying rent, her parents supported her through uni whereas I had to make do, her parents helped secure her job whereas I had to do my own. So it’s frustrating hearing her moan.

Also for the people who say I worked for 1 year I worked for 7 all through my studies and that’s how I afforded it.

Again I repeat I live in wales which I know is cheaper then London but it’s the fact that young people in wales still say they can’t buy!

To be honest, if this is true, I think your friend is probably the one whose got it right. At 22, you've got decades ahead to work, sacrifice, buy houses. If your friend wants a nice car and to enjoy her life while she's young with no responsibility, all power to her. From the tone of your posts you seem very bitter and resentful, which makes me wonder if the choices you made were really the right ones for you. Happy people don't tend to get that angry, either with their friends or with strangers on MN.

It is possible but you have to really sacrifice.
We rent out a granny flat and out last tennants were a young just married couple. They lived in one room for 3 years to save and they were able to buy a lovely new build home in Dublin last year. Now their mortgage repayment is about half what renting the same house would cost. I know it wasn't easy for them but it was worth it in the end.

I agree with you. There was this young lady at work that she was always complaining about not being able to save money but every year
she has holidays abroad, buy lots and lots of brand new clothes and goes out every weekend. You can't have it all. That simple.

@Broads93 oh bless you, must of forgotten to read my comments where I said I didn’t grow up in a life of luxury and that’s why I worked hard to get out of it. I haven’t been handed a penny from my parents and you know what I never expected it because they owed me nothing! They taught me the most valuable lesson that if I want anything in life I have to work for it and so I did

I bought in a cheap ish area as a first time buyer and actually it wasn't a good decision when we wanted/ needed to move up the ladder. We had spent quite a lot on doing it up and there was a definite ceiling price for the area. We ended up with very little equity for 10 years worth of mortgage payments.

So whilst it might be feasible to buy a house, it might also not always be the sensible decision when you are young as you are then more tied to the area.

So I don't think young home ownership should be sold as the ultimate dream.

Just seen you bought in Wales. My DH's family are in S. Wales. We could buy a family home outright with the deposit we needed to live where our jobs are based (and no, we can't move somewhere cheaper because then we wouldn't have an income). Jog on with your gloating!

YABU because the majority of young people can't buy houses. it's not some fairytale narrative that young people can't buy homes. You just happened to be lucky that you live in an area where it's cheap.

For a lot of young people the issue comes down to salary not being high enough to get a decent mortgage rather than an inability to pay the cost of a mortgage.

Ridiculous that people can pay £1000+ in rent but won't be approved for a mortgage which will cost £700. But ANYWAY.

Here you go 👏👏 well done cause that’s clearly all you want is a round of applause and for people to say how great you have done.

Surprised you actually have any friends with such a horrible attitude.

My ds was hopeless with money until he finished uni despite working.
Spent every penny on tech and rubbish food.
Left uni in debt.

Dd was careful, never worked because she had to study outside normal hours.
Left uni with money in the bank.

One of ds school friends however went to a uni near his home.
Took out his student loan and invested it and then repaid it and kept the interest he made.
He worked all hours around uni.
Got a good job fairly quickly.
He bought a nice home at 23 in a not inexpensive area .

It can be done but I think it takes someone very savvy and determined.

Wouldn’t we all want to live in the Center of London

Umm.. fuck no

I left home at 18 because it was abusive, worked multiple part time jobs at the same time which only just covered my rent and bills, and didn’t always cover food.

So you have had immense privilege compared to me.

Whilst my friends were swanning around with cars bought and paid for by parents, working full time and living with their parents with no rent or bills to pay, saving 50% of their wages and spending the rest on holidays, nights out and nice clothes, I was often sat in the cold, eating noodles as my only meal of the day.

Well done?

[quote Henryhoover12]@Broads93 oh bless you, must of forgotten to read my comments where I said I didn’t grow up in a life of luxury and that’s why I worked hard to get out of it. I haven’t been handed a penny from my parents and you know what I never expected it because they owed me nothing! They taught me the most valuable lesson that if I want anything in life I have to work for it and so I did[/quote]
But your husband will have helped to save half of the £20k deposit, and presumably earns a decent proportion of the approx £45k joint income of your household? So if your friend is a single person earning the same as you (assuming half of your joint income for ease), she wouldn’t be able to afford a mortgage, would she?