AIBU or are there any other options

[coffeewithmilk]

Friends wedding coming up - I'm bridesmaid
Will have newborn baby at time of wedding.
Looking over accommodation and there's nowhere to stay - it's a 'glamping' resort so obviously can't have a baby in a tent with no heat and running water

Hotels not feasible as they are super over priced at the moment (800+ for one night)

AIBU for not wanting to go? I'll be breastfeeding (hopefully) and the thought of the wedding is completely stressing me out.

I feel like a bad friend but I don't have any other options at the moment other than to say I can't go

If you need to back out, do so now, leaving her as much time as possible to replace so. That said, I do know plenty of people who have managed camping / glamping with babies / small children, in fact possibly slightly easier with an immobile baby than an active toddler. But I don’t blame you if you think it will be too much.

Definitely depends on the time of year/expected weather and the accommodation options (some Glamping does have heating and water)
How newborn are we talking here?

Unless it’s mid winter you can glamp with a baby quite easily. Take a Moses basket or travel cot for sleeping and a washing up bowl - there will be somewhere on site you can get hot water - and wipes for washing.

But if you really don’t want to go just tell your friend that you’re feeling super stressed about the idea of such a long weekend with a new baby and won’t be an enjoyable or value-adding guest. A good friend will understand that.

Are there more affordable hotels a bit further away you can drive or get a taxi to?

I wouldnt go glamping even if I didn't have a baby tbh!

Baby will be 3 months
Wedding is in May (but unpredictable weather realistically in the uk)
Nearest town is 30 mins away by car which is fine but hotels are extremely expensive that weekend for some reason (the area is a huge touristy spot)
Most b&bs in the town have 'no children' on their website

I've camped with a 2 month old baby....was def not glamping. We took large water container and basin with us. Was honestly fine and actually v v relaxing. I'd take a plug in elec heater w me (assuming the tent has electricity)

I would no way go camping with a 3 month old (hats off to people who do!). Is an air b and b an option? If not I don't think you're unreasonable to tell her now that it's not going to work for you.

You'll be fine. Bring the baby. Probably just a bag of stuff you'd take on a picnic soon hopefully. Everyone will look out for you.
Have a great time make memories and congratulations 😃

It's probably easier to 'glamp' with a 3 month old than a toddler! Try not to over think it it's only one night and one bad night for the sake of making your friend happy on her wedding day would be worth it to me

I've gone camping with newborns, they are easier than you'd think.

Where in the UK is there only glamping or £800 per night hotels available?

Surely there is something in between?

I think if you're breast feeding you will be fine. If formula feeding a little trickier but not too much so - take Milton cold water steralising tablets for the bottles and a good flask to put boiling water in for making up your bottles.

The bigger issue will be how you're feeling. My baby has just turned 3 months and I would be fine with it as long as the glamping bed was decent for my back - but completely get a lot of other new mother's wouldn't be. You might still be recovering, or even just be severely sleep deprived. Also, so much changes in the first few weeks - what send impossible one week is a breeze the next.

Can you go for the day and go home after the wedding bits?

If it's not too far I would try that

With a fairly recent newborn it'll will be hard to be a bridesmaid so is that a role you really want to do?

Your friend has chosen the wedding she wants. You'll be a new mum by then. It's ok to say "I support you and usually would be delighted to be a bridesmaid but I can't do this time for the wedding you want with a newborn. I don't want to let you down, so can't commit to being be your bridesmaid. Tell me more about this campsite is there heating in tents?"

Early May is very cold for camping , end of May not so much as is almost June / summer.

If it's 'glamping' presumably you'll be in one of those big tents with a proper bed and everything? I'd do it. I bet there will be access to hot water - even non-luxe campsites have showers etc.

Zero chance I would camp or glamp with a newborn but I'm
not an experienced camper. Some people are and would do this easily, the "Have baby will travel" types. Rest of us - not so keen. My babies at that age were waking and crying every 2-3 hours and bf all through night and day. Can't imagine sat outside on cold evening trying to breastfeed whilst keeping us both warm and not waking whole campsite up through the night. You won't know what baby you'll get (how well they settle) or if they'll be teething or colicky then.

Your friend decides on her wedding arrangements but it doesn't mean it will suit everyone, same way an overseas wedding doesn't suit everyone.

Drop out quickly if you are going to or at least say you can't be bridesmaid.

Two of my BMs found out they were pregnant after agreeing to be BM &MOH- and by my wedding were 5 months pregnant each. For me, it was all about whatever suited them including dresses we picked together - and changed - and what they needed as they were my absolute BFFs and I wanted them to be comfortable and their toddler / preschool DCs too.

We had the best wedding and memories including 3 1/2 year old flower girl (my god daughter) loudly answering my vows for me before I could 🤣🤣🤣 "Hey Sophie (not irl name) I gotta answer this bit !"

' Obviously can't have a baby in a tent'

For this bit alone, you are being completely unreasonable. Of course you can.

You may not want to, which is a totally different thing.

If you don't want to go, decline as soon as possible.

Course you can have a baby in a tent

Whether you want to is a completely different thing. Babies are easier than toddlers

Glamping suggests that there is a bed of sorts rather than a blow up mattress? That would be my only concern! Actually, much easier if the glamping tent is on the site of the wedding party as it’ll be much nicer for you to use it for feeding rather than trying to find a space elsewhere.
You’ve been chosen as a bridesmaid so you do need to think about your friends feelings here vs how much effort you’re prepared to put in.

I went glamping with a load of friends when my baby was a month old. It was really good fun surprisingly and not so hard to keep him warm. It was early June. The tent set ups are pretty sophisticated now.

That being said, it’s your call. But by three months they’re pretty robust. Having the tent/teepee/yurt on site would mean you could nip off to feed if you wanted to, or lie down. I’d settle the baby in the pram in the evening you and then probably head off to bed before the very end of the party.

Apologies if it came across ignorant saying a baby can't sleep in a tent.
I've never camped before and I'm thinking of realistic factors such as bad weather/cold/ practical sleeping area for baby
It's my first baby so obviously a lot of anxiety around every factor that I need to think of

@coffeewithmilk

Apologies if it came across ignorant saying a baby can't sleep in a tent. I've never camped before and I'm thinking of realistic factors such as bad weather/cold/ practical sleeping area for baby It's my first baby so obviously a lot of anxiety around every factor that I need to think of

Not ignorant at all, it’s a fair concern. You’ve not even had the baby yet so you don’t know how birth/sleep/feeding etc will go.

But it will be doable to glamp with a three month old if you so desire and you feel up to it. Anything’s possible when they’re tiny. For me, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to do what I did before so I made a point of doing these things to prove to myself life wouldn’t change, and the baby would just join the ranks.

I’d have a frank conversation with your friend now so she knows where you’re at, though.

Sounds like you need to have a really good and honest chat with your friend about how you're feeling.

As others have said glamping in May with a 3 month old would be totally doable, especially if you are breastfeeding but if you've never had a baby or aren't into camping it is completely understandable that you would be anxious about this situation.

It is all possible so you just need to decide if you want to go and if not it would be better to let your friend know sooner.

I wouldn't go. I've travelled with a newborn and it can be stressful at the best of times

Just politely decline

I think you'd regret not going more than going and dealing with any issues that may arise. The worst that can happen is that you're stuck with a baby in your luxury tent. Newborns are pretty robust. Just take plenty of warm clothes for yourself. If it's cold when I camp, I tend to sleep in my tracksuit bottoms, socks and layers of t-shirts and long sleep tops. A bridesmaid dress might not be condusive to breastfeeding though, so you might want to opt out of that role.

@coffeewithmilk

Baby will be 3 months Wedding is in May (but unpredictable weather realistically in the uk) Nearest town is 30 mins away by car which is fine but hotels are extremely expensive that weekend for some reason (the area is a huge touristy spot) Most b&bs in the town have 'no children' on their website

Call the b and Bs. There’s a huge Difference between a three month old and a toddler or bigger child.