AIBU to think nursery are in the wrong? (my son bit another child)

[honeybee95]

Some context, my son is 2, and has been at the same nursery since he was around 16 months old. He started in the toddler around 2 weeks ago, and today I’ve had a call to say he’s bitten another child. Then not even 10 minutes later I’ve had another call from a different lady to the first to say he’s been sick, has a temp and has had a cough most of the day and can I go and collect him? Surely if that was the case they would have contacted me this morning? I just find the timing odd - he's bitten a child and suddenly he's unwell? I'm not saying he wasn't poorly, just the timing of things. Why didn't the original lady tell me when she rang? I just find it odd that he’s been sick after he’s bitten someone, which makes me think he’s been shouted at and he’s scared that’s why he’s been sick. Picked him up and he’s bright as a button, and has been fine since being at home, playing and bouncing around.

My son has never bitten anyone, of course these things happen but it’s just so out of character for my little guy. Anyway I’ve picked him up, the lady who came out with him didn’t have a clue about the incident, I’ve had to say isn’t there a form I need to fill out? She’s come back with it, and I’ve obviously asked what’s happened and she said she didn’t know as she didn’t deal with it? Am I in the wrong for being angry about the complete lack of communication? They’re all in the same room, surely they should be aware of all incidents incase they do each other’s hand overs. She didn’t tell me anything about his day. Not what he’s eaten, what he’s done. Just he was sick, bye pretty much. We had such a positive experience in the baby room for the last year or so, and I’ve never felt worried. Now I’m worrying about how he’s being treated by staff and children in the toddler room. Just feels like a complete disregard of care. Yes my son bit someone but as a parent I should know the circumstances, and be told about his day. I still have no idea about the circumstances.

In hindsight I should of stood my ground and asked for the lady/someone who did witness what had happened. My son was just desperate to get out of there.

Did you ask what happened?

It sounds like he was feeling poorly but couldn’t explain it so got frustrated and ended up biting someone else.

Then whilst they were on the phone to you he was sick and they took his temperature and phoned you back.

Sometimes it will be the person who witnessed the biting/high temp that will ring you incase you have questions but sometimes it’s dedicated people like the biting could be safeguarding and the high temp call could have been from the person who’s first aid trained.

Remember the staff ratios are lower in the Toddler room than for babies. More children for the staff to keep an eye on.

It could be that your child is encountering older children who stand up for themselves a bit more than babies, for example, your child attempts to take a toy away from another child - and that child resists, rather than letting go of the toy. This could be a cue for a bite, if your child is not used to this behaviour, and doesn't know how to deal with it. Don't panic, it's very common. The wee fellow just needs to learn strategies for life in the Toddler room, which is very different from the nurturing in the Baby room. He'll cope, and he'll learn.

YABU - you only get a report or a form if your kid is the one who has been bitten. Sounds like they were completely separate incidents.

I get it's annoying that the teacher handing him over didn't know details but from her point of view I think she was the one handing over due to sickness, he wasn't sent home for the biting so she probably hadn't been briefed about the incident since she was sending home due to sickness if you get me.

Surely the time to ask details of the incident would have been when they phoned you to inform you? Why didn't you ask then?

* which makes me think he’s been shouted at and he’s scared that’s why he’s been sick*

If that was the case why would they mention cough, temp etc? They would surely just have said he'd been sick?
My first thought was that he perhaps bit another child out of frustration of feeling ill

How big is the class? And how many teachers? It could be just a lack of communication between staff. I would ask to speak to the teacher who called you tomorrow to check there isn’t any confusion.

Tbh I am surprised they called you to say he had bitten someone. I would have thought this would be something that would be discussed at handover. I’m not in the UK though so maybe different here.

And what have they said about the cough and temp...test or home?

It sounds odd.

Surely they phoned you so you could ask questions. Did you ask question when they phoned you. Tbh I wouldn’t expect to have to tell you twice, that would be the point off calling.