Friend against vaccine

[R2G]

I'm getting married abroad but the current rules are that non vaccinated adults can't go there. Friend is supposed to be matron of honour. She's against the covid vaccination so wouldn't be able to go. I totally respect that decision. However I realise now her expectation was that I move the wedding to a country where she can attend with a negative pcr test. There are 10 other people booked, family members and I had no plans to move it. The place is special to others and others have planned onward destinations making a holiday of it. Who is BU? Also, any suggestions on how to make her feel included in the run up or should I just drop it now?

She's made her choice. And you've respected it.

Done. Don't engage with any nonsense.

Surely she doesn't actually expect you to move your whole wedding?! Has she said this explicitly?!

Of course she is being U. Of course she couldn’t expect you to move your wedding for her.

Just tell her ‘oh well, sorry you can’t come but we can have a night out when I’m home’.

You aren’t obliged to make her feel better about it. She is welcome to have her view, but an adult knows decisions have consequences.

Have a lovely wedding. Don’t let her spoil it for you - it’s not her day.

Each choice has consequences.
I wouldn’t move my wedding for her, just like I wouldn’t expect her to get vaccinated just to attend the wedding.

YANBU for not moving your wedding.

I do think everyone should have a choice and I don't judge anyone that's not had the vaccine, however, they do need to realise that there is going to be stuff they're not able to do because they've not had it

Who is BU? 🤣

Oh come on I'm sure you know the answer OP.

I totally support her choice not to have the jab and I believe countries should offer a negative test option.

But that's not how it is and it shouldn't be your problem. Unless YOU want her there more than you want the destination, stick to your plans.

I totally respect that decision - can't imagine why you would. Its idiotic.

You will have to go without a matron of honour - not the end of the world - and she can jolly well stew in her own stupid juice.

Of course you can’t mess everyone else around!
MOH isn’t even a thing, really. It’s a pointless made up title to make a friend feel nice - you don’t need one and it’s not like no-one else can do whatever you wanted her to do.
I wouldn’t be pandering to her making her feel included if that was really her expectation, that you move it! 😳

If she just sadly withdrew, no expectations, then I would want her to feel included though.

To be vaccinated is her choice, but the consequences of her choice are her own to bear. You're not moving your wedding for her.

I totally support her choice not to have the jab and I believe countries should offer a negative test option.

If you're not a citizen in those other countries, you don't get a say! Many countries have had much lower numbers than the UK. They made they're choices and I'm fairly sure they are happy with them.

The issue is that countries are changing there rules all the time.
So a county that accepts Pcr now may not at the time of your weeding.
That’s the issue.
At the moment if you want to travel out of country the most pragmatic thing is to be vaccinated. I say this as a Brit living in Europe.
I hope you friend is understanding and you have a lovely wedding.

If you're not a citizen in those other countries, you don't get a say!

No shit. Thanks for that. I was trying to demonstrate to the OP that I'm sympathetic with the friend but STILL think the OP is in the right. Calm down.

Of course you don’t change the destination.

She sounds like an idiot.

She's completely BU. She hardly expects you to move your wedding because of her!!

She is unreasonable to expect you to change plans for her alone. Unfortunately for her the decision to decline the covid vaccine can be quite limiting atm.

Thanks everyone. No she's not an idiot or stupid. She has been experimented on for many years due to epilepsy and placed on wrong drugs et, and has sometimes reacted badly, it is her carefully considered opinion that it is not the right time for her to have the vaccine, she is considering it for the future.
She hasn't been horrible about it she just said she hoped we might move it to somewhere else, but I pointed out she is only one not vaccinated and everyone else has tagged on holidays after the wedding so it would be too much.
Thanks for your opinions. I just wanted to check really would anyone else move. I feel more reassured now.

No I wouldn't move it. At this point the vaccine isn't an experiment