to want a cleaner

[HedgehogintheFog]

I want a clean house, but don’t want to do it myself! DH is uncomfortable with the idea of someone being in/cleaning our house. As soon as having a cleaner became a financial possibility for us, we discussed and compromised that he would do all the cleaning. The house is never as clean as I would ideally like, but I can very happily live with it, and it’s certainly acceptable.

DH has now decided he is moving from the public sector to the private sector for his own career development/challenge. It will be more money, but longer hours, less flexibility and probably more stress.

Am I being unreasonable to insist we get a cleaner? He says he can still do it, but in reality I know I will have to more because he will not have time.

It is not a financial issue. I could easily pay for a cleaner myself from my salary and would happily do so. It is a privacy issue for DH.

We contribute evenly to the mortgage/bills and although I do no cleaning, I do all the cooking, the shopping and most of the life admin for us.

So AIBU to want a cleaner even though DH is strongly against it?

We have a cleaner once a week and there are 2 rooms they don't clean - DH's office and the playroom.

DH is responsible for cleaning his office as he leaves stuff lying all over the place and it wouldn't be fair to expect someone else to tidy/clean it up!

I do the playroom as and when it needs it as it's the most used room in the house so it gets hoovered most days and wipes down once a week

Idea of certain rooms is good or a monthly clean or spring clean. Then he can hide his stuff away/put it in his car? Ease him in to idea.
You pay them to clean so tidy up before cleaner is norm - anything personal should be put away anyway.

If he's worried about paperwork etc being seen then there's locks.
I'm suspecting it may be more general, in that he doesn't want someone ' intimately ' involved in his home?
In that case I would suggest at least making sure every individual job that can be outsourced is - windowcleaner, carpets shampooed, oven cleaned, decorator etc etc.

I wouldn't get a cleaner straight away, I'd give him the chance to start his new job and continue doing the cleaning, like he has said he will.

If he finds that he is unable to manage the cleaning on top of his work hours, then I'd have another conversation about getting a cleaner. At least then you can put to him that tasks aren't getting done due to him not having time so the cleaner is the only option left.

Another cleaner here, I am too busy concentrating on what needs to be done to be looking at what is lying around! I would suggest getting some personal recommendations, I get all my work now through word of mouth and most of my customers have been with me from when I started many years ago. When you find someone, get them round for a chat and to see what you want done, you can mention your worries about confidentiality, I can guarantee they won't be offended

We've recently started using a weekly cleaning service. I felt worried about privacy so we asked they they didn't clean the bedrooms as I felt strange knowing someone had been in our private space. We've loved having the rest of the house cleaned and might even decide to have the bedrooms included eventually.

@araiwa

Your laziness doesn't trump his desire for privacy

ODFOD

I think the privacy issue isn't silly. I've had a cleaner (well two different ones, at different times) for ten years. But DD and her partner are uncomfortable having her in their "private spaces" like their bedroom and living room. Mainly it's because both of them have been friends of theirs.

Our compromise is that cleaner does shared bathroom,landing, stairs, hall and my living room.

It works for us. Can you find a suitable compromise? Is he out of the house during the day when the cleaner is in?

Get a cleaner...there is nothing like walking in to the house on a Friday and not having any cleaning to do at the weekend.
I also get all the ironing done...I'm such a lazy cow