AIBU to expect more from Dds school?

[anxietytalking]

Dd is 14 and having panic attacks about school but can't say why. School are aware but I'm not sure how much support I should be having from them.
She has been to Gp and I self referred her to CAHMS which got her 6 weeks of counselling but no proper CAHMS referral.
I have no idea what help school should be providing, school counsellor said because she is seeing a counsellor from outside school there is nothing they can do. Pastoral support say go back to lesson or sit her on her own. She has a pass to leave the classroom if needed but that only lets her stand outside the classroom.
Does anyone know what help she should be getting, no wonder she wants to stay at home
AIBU to expect more from her school?

Do you have something in mind you'd like them to do that they are not already doing? If so, communicate it to them. Do remember that most teachers are not trained in mental health so may struggle to think of ways to support children/teens who have panic attacks.

I am a teacher working in Additional Support Needs Base. We are not trained Mental Health professionals, also we have a tsunami of kids presenting with anxiety, mental health issues after lockdown. I feel for your daughter but some days I was 1 person having to deal with 20-30 pupils having anxiety attacks, panic attacks, too anxious to go into class. Meltdowns etc. The. Funding is just not there unfortunately.

I don’t think there’s much the school can do but I understand why you feel the way you do. I had panic attacks from the age of 7. When it happened at school I remember the teachers would put a table and chair in the corridor and I’d have to sit out there on my own so I didn’t disturb the other pupils.

@OliveToboogie

I am a teacher working in Additional Support Needs Base. We are not trained Mental Health professionals, also we have a tsunami of kids presenting with anxiety, mental health issues after lockdown. I feel for your daughter but some days I was 1 person having to deal with 20-30 pupils having anxiety attacks, panic attacks, too anxious to go into class. Meltdowns etc. The. Funding is just not there unfortunately.

Totally understand the lack of funding and number of kids having problems at the moment. Out of interest, what does your school do when someone is having panic attacks? Are they given somewhere to sit quietly to calm down? Does anyone stay with them? Are they sent home? I know that child mental health services are also very underfunded. At primary school when she had similar problems there was a lovely lady (not teaching staff, pastoral support) who spent time with her doin breathing exercises etc until she calmed down then went back to class. Should this be in place in a secondary school? Thanks

@sheiselectric

Do you have something in mind you'd like them to do that they are not already doing? If so, communicate it to them. Do remember that most teachers are not trained in mental health so may struggle to think of ways to support children/teens who have panic attacks.

Totally understand teachers aren't trained mental health support and I'm not having a dig at teachers. I suppose I am expecting more from pastoral support or safeguarding. I'm not sure what is normally offered in school hence the post to see if she should be getting more support from her school

@Dita73

I don’t think there’s much the school can do but I understand why you feel the way you do. I had panic attacks from the age of 7. When it happened at school I remember the teachers would put a table and chair in the corridor and I’d have to sit out there on my own so I didn’t disturb the other pupils.

It's horrible isn't it? I hate the thought of her being left in her own while she feels that awful. I know she needs to stay in school so it doesn't get worse but I can also see why she wants to come home if she is left to deal with it on her own

Yabu

At primary school when she had similar problems there was a lovely lady (not teaching staff, pastoral support) who spent time with her doin breathing exercises etc until she calmed down then went back to class.

At secondary that lovely lady has thirty children needing her support. I'm sympathetic, but you need to be realistic in what they can do.

My DD also has anxiety and has a pass to leave a classroom if overwhelmed. She has ADHD and ASD so it's part of her conditions.

At DD's school there's a learning support room where children with SEN can go. There's always a TA in there. I believe that usually it's used at break and lunchtime but when DD has had to leave a lesson I know she's headed there. The TA has given the support she needs and they actually work through some of the subject work of the lesson that she's left but on a quiet 1 to 1 basis.

Is there any SEN support room at your school that your DD could access? Most of the Secondary school here seem to have them although I specifically picked DD's school with extra support needs like this in mind.

It's not as good as being in a lesson with a teacher but it keeps her in school and still doing some lessons.

Id look at self help as schools are not coping, they don't have the staff or funding. Could dd use noise cancelling headphones playing something from her phone that she finds helpful - music, talked visualisation, a breathing exercise from a mindfulness app. She could have different listening options depending on how she is feeling - like a toolkit. Most schools have quiet spots she can sit if she has a pass. Could she phone you are a relative to talk her through the attack, so she knows there is always someone there.

Its actually a great time to encourage her to develop her own toolkit for her own mental health. Writing or recording feelings diary. Exercising or walking off feelings of anxiety. I find walking up and down stairs counting them very soothing and grounding.

@Lindy2

My DD also has anxiety and has a pass to leave a classroom if overwhelmed. She has ADHD and ASD so it's part of her conditions.

At DD's school there's a learning support room where children with SEN can go. There's always a TA in there. I believe that usually it's used at break and lunchtime but when DD has had to leave a lesson I know she's headed there. The TA has given the support she needs and they actually work through some of the subject work of the lesson that she's left but on a quiet 1 to 1 basis.

Is there any SEN support room at your school that your DD could access? Most of the Secondary school here seem to have them although I specifically picked DD's school with extra support needs like this in mind.

It's not as good as being in a lesson with a teacher but it keeps her in school and still doing some lessons.

I could ask that, thanks

@Hankunamatata

Id look at self help as schools are not coping, they don't have the staff or funding. Could dd use noise cancelling headphones playing something from her phone that she finds helpful - music, talked visualisation, a breathing exercise from a mindfulness app. She could have different listening options depending on how she is feeling - like a toolkit. Most schools have quiet spots she can sit if she has a pass. Could she phone you are a relative to talk her through the attack, so she knows there is always someone there.

Its actually a great time to encourage her to develop her own toolkit for her own mental health. Writing or recording feelings diary. Exercising or walking off feelings of anxiety. I find walking up and down stairs counting them very soothing and grounding.

Thanks, all great ideas

@CorrBlimeyGG

At primary school when she had similar problems there was a lovely lady (not teaching staff, pastoral support) who spent time with her doin breathing exercises etc until she calmed down then went back to class.

At secondary that lovely lady has thirty children needing her support. I'm sympathetic, but you need to be realistic in what they can do.

I think we were very lucky in primary school by the looks of things.

The self help ideas are really good.
The unpleasant lightheadedness and stomach churning are from your body going into flight/fight mode and often caused by hyperventilation and your body producing adrenaline. You can do a lot to ease these feelings with breathing exercises and grounding techniques. Get her to practice with you at home so she knows she has some techniques to help.

@Beamur

The self help ideas are really good. The unpleasant lightheadedness and stomach churning are from your body going into flight/fight mode and often caused by hyperventilation and your body producing adrenaline. You can do a lot to ease these feelings with breathing exercises and grounding techniques. Get her to practice with you at home so she knows she has some techniques to help.

I think I will have to practice a lot at home with her, I have tried but teens aren't too keen on listening! When she had similar problems when she was younger she was much more open to things and it was easier to make sure she got more exercise etc. Now she is a know all teen it's hard getting her to do anything!

At our school, children who struggle to come in in the morning can go to a safe space to acclimatise before continuing to their lessons - ideally, there are staff there to support but if they are called away then that isn't always the case.

Similarly, children who suffer from anxiety during the day can access the space and have permission cards to leave lessons.

We do have counsellors but CAMHS don't allow access to other counselling services while you're under their care.

For children experiencing more severe school refusal we can offer staggered starts or part time timetables.

Sadly, your dd will not be the only one by country mile. Free access to their nurture space may be all they can currently offer. As she is being supported by CAMHS, she already has more support than most.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

We can also offer a member of staff to meet at the door each morning, if staffing allows, but many teens don't like this option as it draws attention.

Does she have a keyworker she can chat to?

my daughter gets quite stressed out - she intended up having inattentive ADHD (she realised her self and school had not noticed - has an official diagnosis from a specialist now) and its also thought she has Pots. Pots in teen girls are more common than realised. basically, they get an increase in heart rate so there body thinks something frightening is happening and they feel frightened - their flight or fight button gets triggered often. So rather than it being emotional triggering the panic - its physical triggering an emotional panic. You can get an idea if you test her heart rate when she has woken up from sleep in the morning - then get her to stand up still for at least 3minutes - test her heart rate again and if it goes up more than 30-40 beats per minute from the lying to standing place she might have Pots so worth doing some research. You can test using a blood pressure monitor or a finger pulse oxygen tester.
Re the leaving class - I am suprised they have not suggested she goes and lies down with the matron so she is supervised.
www.potsuk.org/

You need to work with her to try and understand her triggers. Once she knows the trigger she can get the help she needs.

Does she only get panic attacks at school?