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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To absolutely HATE New York

993 replies

GreetingsFromVenus · 10/01/2022 01:01

Dreamed of going there for many years. Thought it would be amazing. Everyone seems to think it is.

Here now and I hate it. Extortionate prices, rude ignorant locals, so many aggressive beggars. mentally ill people shouting in the street. loads of homeless people. The subway stations are disgusting and feel very menacing compared to London.

I find it really depressing actually and feel that the way Hollywood has portrayed New York is all smoke and mirrors. It is nothing special at all IMO. In fact it has a LOT of social issues and it made me feel quite sick to be spending $100 just for a mid range meal for 2 (no dessert) while there were people asking for food outside.

Central Park - pffttt!

Cannot wait to get home next week and will never complain about London prices again!

Anyone else felt the same?

OP posts:
ElftonWednesday · 10/01/2022 02:17

You sound like a Florida person, OP, not a NY person. Florida doesn't have much appeal to me apart from the flora and fauna.

chaosmaker · 10/01/2022 02:18

YABU expecting somewhere to be like it is in TV and films, didn't you know that unless it's a true life/documentary then it's going to be made up and fictionalised. Even true life and documentary style work contains fiction........

anotheronenow · 10/01/2022 02:18
  • Black Seed Bagel (wish there was an edit button for the 1,000000000th time).
Pixxie7 · 10/01/2022 02:19

I loved New York but I must admit it was a long time ago and it may well of changed. The staff I found were polite and helpful. Although not sure I would want to live there.
I think the expectation can often be much more than the reality however I think this can be said about anything.

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/01/2022 02:20

@GreenLunchBox

Not been but it looks grotty, dirty and a couple of decades behind. I imagine it has lots of rats and people are rude. Not a place I want to visit.
Well I imagine that Thailand has dragons and Australia is underwater. Doesn't mean I'm right. Without going there.

Travel broadens the mind and no place is all good or bad. Except LA, that's a shithole.

BritWifeInUSA · 10/01/2022 02:21

So you came here and found it wasn’t all like films and TV, quelle surprise. You fell into tourist traps by over-paying for mediocre food.
Anyway, thanks for your tourist dollars. Enjoy London!

BritWifeInUSA · 10/01/2022 02:24

Just to add I’ve been to Florida (pre Covid) a few times and loved it. Great, reasonably priced food and the people were lovely.

And that’s your problem. This country is made up of 50 states that are more like separate countries than parts of the same country. Florida is a few thousand miles from New York so of course it’s going to be different. That’s like going to Berlin and being shocked you didn’t like it because Spain is lovely.

JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil · 10/01/2022 02:26

In response to PP, I keep hearing negative things about L.A, however, it must be gorgeous in many areas. Some of the homes you see are fabulous. Is it just that it’s a bit ‘showy’ that people don’t like?

knitnerd90 · 10/01/2022 02:27

I have family there so I am biased - but this is really just like whining about London.

You were there at absolutely the worst time. January is grim. Covid is so rampant that 20% of subway drivers and conductors were out sick. Central Park is just a huge park, what were you expecting? You do need to know which bits of the park to see. I prefer New Yorkers to Floridians--New Yorkers are direct and don't dawdle. They're friendlier than you think, normally.

As for dirt, I remember when we would visit when I was small when the Bronx was still burnt out.

If you're a tourist and don't have someone to show you round all you do is see Times Square (blecch) tourist sites like the Empire State Building, go to a couple of big museums, see a show, eat at a few restaurants and possibly not the best ones.

if you want to enjoy New York properly you need to have someone who knows the different neighborhoods and can point out the history. (I really recommend the Tenement Museum.) It's also much nicer if you go when the weather is better so you can more comfortably walk around. There's things like the High Line, the park by Brooklyn Bridge, the botanic gardens (both Brooklyn and the Bronx), or a baseball game that's much better to do when the weather is good.

The past 15 years or so have been incredibly rough on independent shops and there's a lot of vacant fronts (supposedly landlords hold out for higher paying tenants; they'd rather keep units empty).

CharSiu · 10/01/2022 02:27

I heard Hilary Clinton speak at a healthcare rally and went to a meeting of striking journalists. Went to a gospel service, many museums and stood on top of the World Trade centre. I stayed in a youth hostel on Amsterdam Avenue in Spanish Harlem, visited Tom’s diner a few times as featured in the Suzanne Vega song. Also visited a commune in a huge abandoned warehouse and thrift shops. I was really young it was 27 years ago for two weeks having been to visit relatives in Chicago for a couple of weeks beforehand. There were a lot of beggars even back then.

dreamingbohemian · 10/01/2022 02:31

@GreetingsFromVenus

London is more populous than NYC *@dreamingbohemian* and in the 30 years I’ve lived on the outskirts I’ve never experienced anything like this. The US are supposed to be so much bigger and better than everyone else which is why I find it so shocking.

My DH comes from a very poverty stricken 3rd formerly world war torn country and it reminds me of there I have to say.

London has a couple hundred thousand more people, that means nothing in such big cities. Its also twice as large in area and mostly low density. New York has a lot of people in a smallish place and the pandemic has been crippling. Of course its not a bed of roses.

You might want to leave Zone 6 and check out the less leafy parts of London yourself. Plenty of beggars and crime and rude people here too.

HerRoyalNotness · 10/01/2022 02:32

I love it. Only been twice and last went 3yrs ago over NYE. I follow a blogger that lives there with her family so picked up lots of tips. The kids loved it to, made us feel alive! (We live somewhere really suburban and boring, we’re city folk at heart)

knitnerd90 · 10/01/2022 02:33

As for homeless people--I have never, anywhere in the US, seen nearly as many street homeless as California. It's horrifying. San Francisco particularly but LA too. New York s comparatively a lot better, and also has better housing services. California's climate plus staggeringly expensive housing means there's full scale homeless encampments.

I'd also say that Philadelphia is ruder than New York, and some people there would take pride in it.

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/01/2022 02:35

@JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil

In response to PP, I keep hearing negative things about L.A, however, it must be gorgeous in many areas. Some of the homes you see are fabulous. Is it just that it’s a bit ‘showy’ that people don’t like?
I was touring with a band, very swanky hotels and lovely meals etc.

It is vapid, shallow, ugly, hot, pushy and loud. It's also extremely dirty unless you're in the very nice bits. And that goes for everything. It's either horrifying poor and deprived or diamond encrusted. And LAX is the worst airport in the world bar none and I've been to 40 countries. Weirdly puritanical as well, about smoking, drinking, swearing, everything. While... remember the horrible poverty. I suppose one could stay in the nice areas and ignore that. But you can't go for a walk, there's no sidewalk. And the highways are awful.

There are so many nicer places in the US. Including NYC. You can walk all over!

Tealightsandd · 10/01/2022 02:36

@JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil

I’m a Londoner and love New York. They are very different places and I don’t agree with PP who says London always follows where NY goes. They are distinctly different places, culturally and stylistically very different. Went over there about 12 years ago and loved it. Only went for 4 days and wished I could have stayed longer. DH and I said we’d move there for a year, never got around to it though.

Disagree the people are rude, they’re standoffish and wary of strangers speaking to them but once you start speaking to them they’re fine. Most city people are wary of talking to strangers at first as they’re on guard against beggars, con artists and crazy people.

Amazing place with a great buzz. I went in September pre-pandemic though. Can see how Jan during pandemic that it wouldn’t be at its best. Try again in a couple of years.

I'm a (born and bred) Londoner too.

I've also been to NYC and have friends who live there (although not native New Yorkers as they're from other parts of the US).

Just as some parts of London are getting very bad - with rising violent crime and a deeply serious housing and homelessness emergency, but other parts are fab, likewise NYC.

And it's also true (for both cities) that the bad things have got worse in recent years.

MobyDicksTinyCanoe · 10/01/2022 02:38

Central park is actually based on Birkenhead park in the UK.... So go there instead. Grin

JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil · 10/01/2022 02:39

Thanks @MrsTerryPratchett - nobody’s ever explained to me what L.A is like before. I’ve just heard people say you have to drive everywhere and they don’t like it, but no specifics so thanks for filling me in. I will still daydream about living in one of those Selling Sunset houses though!

notangelinajolie · 10/01/2022 02:41

YANBU. We have had some good city breaks in London over the years and booked NY staying at the Plaza Hotel for a special birthday with family thinking it would be fabulous like London but with bells on. It was not. Terrible terrible very scarey place .

mumofone2019 · 10/01/2022 02:41

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn at the poster's request due to privacy concerns.

foxgoosefinch · 10/01/2022 02:41

That’s a shame - I loved NYC but I can absolutely see why someone wouldn’t. January in NYC is freezing and with a biting cold you don’t get in the U.K.. If that’s not outweighed by some great cultural experiences, it puts a dampener on everything because walking the city isn’t fun when you’re constantly looking for somewhere to get out of the cold. Brits don’t ever tend to need the giant puffa duvet coats New Yorkers wear at this time of year so can be unprepared.

Used to go a lot, but the last time I went was pre-kid, so at least ten years ago when it was the Obama era. The highlights of NYC have always been the museums, ballet, restaurants. If they aren’t really functioning because of the pandemic, I can see it would be a difficult experience. Even good restaurants don’t have the same kind of swish upscale super clean vibe that nice places in say, Boston or California, do - it’s a lot grittier as a place. That used to be part of the charm, but I’m sad to hear the city’s gone downhill recently.

A lot of it depends on local government and the economy and that’s bad right now in the US. If you want a more upscale vibe you could try Boston, even the nice center city parts of Philadelphia (Philadelphia has its own grittiness outside of center city!), DC, Chicago. I think the idea of NYC being terribly plush and expensive is a kind of illusion created by film - even the expensive nice bits of the city are not always super plush the way that bits of London are.

I always find it interesting how the US is a funny mixture of very modern and quite antiquated/old fashioned. If you are used to Europe, there are aspects of the US which are surprisingly unmodern and unsophisticated, even a bit tatty, from the advertising to the shops (there aren’t the same kind of shiny middlebrow chain stores we are used to here, from Boots to Sainsbury’s). And though NYC has great food and restaurants, there’s also plenty of bad ones in the mix too. (Quite a lot of American food is puzzlingly unsophisticated to Europeans - especially the wine, cheese etc, even in NYC, so try other cuisines - there’s great Asian and African food of all varieties in New York). If you aren’t experiencing the great bits of the city to cancel out the bad bits, I imagine you’d feel pretty glum about it.

If open, try the Frick, the Guggenheim, the Morgan library (used to do great cocktails on a Friday in the atrium), MOMA, the Met, forget the shopping, seek out some nice niche bars and restaurants to enjoy. Museum restaurants and cafes are often really nice, reliable, and great for people watching.

Ericaequites · 10/01/2022 02:42

As a New Englander since 1620, I see New York as a form of Hell, with less interesting people. The cabbies are rude and terrifying, the shops and restaurants dear, and the people are rude. People expect 20-25% tips. I shop for material in the Fashion District with many unmarked prices, and know my country mouse accent means I get worse prices. Boston has less theatre, and is less posh. It’s much more civilized and clean, with fewer beggers. The museums are great, and history far more interesting. London is better still. If only New York would leave the nation and become the free socialist dystopia it longs to be.

knitnerd90 · 10/01/2022 02:47

@notangelinajolie

YANBU. We have had some good city breaks in London over the years and booked NY staying at the Plaza Hotel for a special birthday with family thinking it would be fabulous like London but with bells on. It was not. Terrible terrible very scarey place .
Just to point out - despite the recent increase in crime, NYC is one of the safest big cities in the US. I am regularly in Baltimore for work related reasons: that is a dangerous city.
SquirrelG · 10/01/2022 02:49

Not been but it looks grotty, dirty and a couple of decades behind. I imagine it has lots of rats and people are rude. Not a place I want to visit.

FFS - yet another person judging a place they've never even been to (or it may well be the same person on different threads!). A couple of decades behind - behind what exactly???

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/01/2022 02:49

You're welcome @JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil

I mean some people love it so there's that. I still always think everyone should visit everywhere because you never know!

eurochick · 10/01/2022 02:49

I went for the first time nearly twenty years ago to visit friends and felt the same. I love big cities and expected to adore the place but I hated it. It's so noisy and brash, and the people are so rude. I just didn't warm to it at all, even with a local guide. I've been back a few times for work and it hasn't improved. DC on the other hand is great. I love going there.

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