To be worried or not? Anyone else relate?

[Typicaloratypical]

Hope it doesn’t bother anyone that I am posting here as seems to be more traffic here.

Hmm so I have been pondering whether any other people have these “difficulties” or experience some of the things I experience and have noted over a period of time.

I have been wondering whether I have some form of Autism or if it’s genuinely normal everyday nothing to worry about things really.

I am 31 years old, married and have 3 DC.
A 6 year old DS, 4 year old DD and 11 month old DD. Now it is worth noting that I tend to go through overthinking during just a few days before my period is due. A few of my “issues” or concerns tend to amplify during that week and I feel absolutely fine once my period actually comes and become a “normal” functioning person again lol.

I note a few potential signs as sensory issues?? I remember as a child around 6/7 hating fireworks. My siblings who were much older and my mum used to set loads of fireworks off on our street on bonfire night and stay out a while. I was always asleep as was too young to stay out late so therefore I used to wake up to immense loud sound of fireworks. My dad would be sleeping and I used to run to him and he used to console me. Is this a normal reaction? I used to be woken up by the noises and I would wake up in a daze all confused! Is this a sensory issue? Mum used to leave me a sparkler for me for the morning which I loved!

I notice small noises-again I remember this from my childhood. Me and my 2 sisters shared a bedroom. One of my sisters was a seriously loud breather at night, well to me it seemed loud 🙈. I researched into this and things such as misophonia have come up before. I used to tell her to stop breathing so loudly. She used to put her hand in front of her nose in order to fall asleep as a soothing thing and so that caused her to breath louder than was necessary. Honestly it used to rile me up! I also had the TV at a lower volume as an adult. Anybody relate?

I have a heightened sense of smell- but then so does my husband so then I think do some of us just have a heightened sense of smell or is me being to smell this because everyone else can too?

I have no problems that I’m aware of in terms of reading body language, understanding idioms/sarcasm. Eye contact has always been fine. No one has ever commented on that aspect. I have always had friends and people usually warm to me straight away. Currently on maternity leave and have people from work always texting to see when I’m coming back because they miss me. I do like to see people happy and try to cheer them up when down etc. Have no routines that I follow or must follow, don’t get upset if plans change really, I mean maybe blame DH if he’s made us late as he tends to do things like that often.
Understand when and if people are getting bored with what I’m discussing. Read facial expressions well, find it easy to multitask. I’m not the best at problem solving. I do find myself to be a bit slower in comparison to other people when it comes to completing tasks.

I wouldn’t say I have any obsessions. I mean I love watching health related shows such as 24hrs in A&E, Greys anatomy, Law and Order and such. Not so much a fan of Star Wars, Lord of the Rings etc. Not that any of that amounts to Autism!

I do unconsciously play with my hair as in twirl it around my finger. I pls with my hair basically. I do touch my eyelashes and pull them out occasionally. I mainly do the eyelashes when I’m stressed which is again around Premenstrual time when my stress levels are through the rough. Since having kids my PMS is very bad. I try my best to control it but it becomes uncontrollable! I have seen this could potentially be a form of trichotillomania. Think this is more common amongst women.

One of my favourites things to do and has always been is being with my family all together in the living room. Whether that be whilst I was living at home with my parents and siblings or once I moved out and got married. I love it when everyone’s together and sharing daily life experiences and everyone just having a great time and a chit chat. I don’t isolate myself never have done.

Ever since I learnt to drive a few years ago, I look at car number plates if for example I have stopped at a red light and a car is in front of me. I will add the number up and even the letters just to see if they end up adding up to an even number. Always loved even numbers. Is this concerning? Or just a subconscious thing when bored. Again when driving I read any random signs I see may that me a car wash or a garage that I’m passing by but none of this is out loud. I do this all in my head. Obviously when I see anything regarding car number plates on google it relates this to Autism straightaway. Does anybody else that’s NT do random things like this?

Not very good at roads and knowing exactly how to get somewhere when driving unless I have been there before. I am a good and safe driver not complaining about that as I only got 2 minors during my test but that’s beside the point. DH has always been good at figuring out how to get to places whereas I struggle with this massively. I’m I’m going somewhere new I would have to definitely use to say nav. Not long ago we were going for breakfast I was driving and beaches we had to run an errand beforehand as we were during to the breakfast place I had to drive a different way therefore I ended up in the wrong lane. DH just stayed quiet and bewildered. I finally realised in order to get to where I want to be I need to switch lanes as we were at a red light. Anyways he said to me “oh my word there’s no planning ahead with u is there” I felt embarrassed, he realised I became quiet and said “you are such a sensitive soul” to me (which I think I am) and I said to him he can drive from now on when we go somewhere as he puts me under immense pressure when it comes to knowing the roads. He’s always out on the roads usually it’s his job. Whereas I go where I need to go therefore I know where I’m already going. I have been known to take wrong exists etc. I usually plan in my head where I need to go and how to get there.

According to my parents I was fine developmentally and had no delays at all and passed all my assessments with flying colours as a baby/toddler. I understand with Autism there tend to be delays with social communication which have to appear before the age of 3.
Could speak 3 languages fluently. Education wise I was average. School was my favourite place. I still am fond of it today and wish I realised how much I would miss them days. I went to university and got a good degree, got a job relating to my degree and worked in that field ever since. I remember as a child having so much confidence. I was nearly always involved in the school plays, was in a dance group in school, in the girls football team and was captain. As I saw it in my eyes I always seemed sociable and loved having friends.

Currently I do still have friends but due to being a mum of 3 and working I’d say I don’t see my friends that often. Maybe once every 2 months or so. Me and my sisters have grown closer and utilise each other to go out for a coffee etc. But do text and call my friends every few days.

I ask all of this because the youngest sibling in the family was diagnosed with moderate Autism at the age of 3. And because everything I research on google regards to the above come up with Autism Helene I am aware by repeatedly searching for certain thing google detects this and automatically links certain things to Autism.

Do I have anything to worry about? I mean I seem to be functioning fine so far. I am aware females tend to mask after readings things online however I don’t feel like I mask. Don’t we all act fake sometimes to not appear rude to other people? Or like to switch off ?

Sorry about the length of the post 🤣 and thanks to whoever does read it all.

You sound perfectly typical to me OP. What makes you think any of that is something to worry about?

You're just a person with your own quirks and personality traits.

It's hard to say really, it presents differently for everyone. I'm autistic and little noises affecting you falling sleep and what you said about car numberplates both resonate with me. I do struggle a lot more socially and have to force myself to make eye contact, for example, but that isn't always the case. It would be best to get an assessment, if you think you may be autistic.
However we don't all mask, no. Sparing someone's feelings or being a little fake so as not to be rude is not masking. I didn't realise at first how much I masked, but it is exhausting. I guess a very basic way of putting it is that I 'copy' others, usually neurotypical people, who carry themselves well and seem to thrive in social/everyday situations, in order to try to fit in better.

Simply going on what you said, I wouldn't say you're autistic, however there's no harm in being assessed if you're concerned. 🙂

@WallaceinAnderland Thanks. I mean it’s mainly the number plate thingy! I mean how many people do you know who maybe out of boredom look at number plates, add the numbers up etc.
But I have to remind myself what my number plate is if I need it for parking for example. Sometimes I genuinely forget. But say my brother for example he has a great memory for things like this. He knows every family members number plate,dob, WiFi username/password and mobile phone number. I still can’t get into my head what my bank card numbers are let alone all of that. I’m not too bad with birthdays though. Everytime iv researched about this particular part it easily relates it to Autism. Not that there’s anything wrong with having Autism.

It seems to be the latest bandwagon.

I think these all sound fairly normal to me, but I have little experience of autism.
I will say however I don’t see what’s wrong with ending up in a wrong lane when driving somewhere new, has happened to me many times ignore the pressure from back seat drivers, nothing worse!! X

@user1493494961 erm I don’t think your comment is very helpful. I have said my younger brother has ASD so I’m sure it’s reasonable to question whether I have it too.

I mean how many people do you know who maybe out of boredom look at number plates, add the numbers up etc.

Well I do it for starters. I often notice numbers or patterns but I don't think that is indicative of autism. There would have to be a lot more.

It doesnt always show until our teens. Autism may not develop before c the age of 15.

Why not do an online questionnaire and see.

@WallaceinAnderland

I mean how many people do you know who maybe out of boredom look at number plates, add the numbers up etc.

Well I do it for starters. I often notice numbers or patterns but I don't think that is indicative of autism. There would have to be a lot more.

Yeah I do it too and I'm not autistic.

OP I have 20+ years of working with autistic children and nothing of what you've said would be a red flag IMO.

Gently, I suggest you are over thinking and perhaps need to find external stimulation for your mind like a book club or new hobby.

Thanks. I mean it’s mainly the number plate thingy! I mean how many people do you know who maybe out of boredom look at number plates, add the numbers up etc.

Now to me that's normal. As a family we make names out of the letters (there's a local mini that has the letters PTO which always makes me laugh); if we're driving along and someone says "but I thought it was a car, not a dog" we'd immediately look for a numberplate with DOG or WOOF or similar.

Ditto numbers, perhaps more looking for patterns or sums: 864 on a numberplate will get the comment of 8 squared is 64. We do the same with phone numbers, pin numbers etc.

I don't think that's a sign of autism. Perhaps mathematical interest.

@Guacamole001

It doesnt always show until our teens. Autism may not develop before c the age of 15.

Why not do an online questionnaire and see.

Don’t be ridiculous!

@Typicaloratypical it seems to me like you have some slight sensitivities especially around that “time of the month” and a bit of a quirk around number plates, that’s all.

The PPs suggesting an assessment make it sound simple but unless you can go private, you will have a long wait.

To be honest, you could take just about any quirk, trait or symptom to Google and depending on which link you read, it'll tell you you've got anything from Autism to a fear of peanut butter.

I'd probably cut out the Googling.

I can empathise and have asked myself similar over the years.

My heightened sense of smell is so great that I can taste smells ( I finally am admitting this in public) I never have had close friends, don't really do social occasions, I never have found comedy remotely funny, ( well with 1 exception)
I have lots of little traits as my late mum would call them. But I have sort of just accepted they are part of me .

If it troubles you and you think you might benefit from help, then you could see. Otherwise just accept yourself for who you are.

@Guacamole001. That’s the thing iv done quite a number of online tests. Some being AQ test which I score 18-22 depending on time of the month and Aspie quiz is always neurotypical result. I know online assessments aren’t a diagnoses itself and don’t rule the conditions in or out but I’m sure it gives some sort of indication. Iv heard the AQ test particularly is well known and quite accurate. I’m a very visual person too. I remember my driving instructor telling me “to me you seem a visual learner/thinker” . Think he was referring to when he was telling me a few steps of directions to take and maybe I felt like it was a lot of information to process when I’m nervous as heck learning to drive 🤣. And of course googling visual learner it’s linked to Autism. I notice all small details such as someone changing something about their appearance etc.

Could you be an HSP (highly sensitive person) OP- rather than autistic.

You sound very normal to me. If we first accept that there no one is totally normal i.e. without their own idiosyncrasies, changing moods, childhood quirks etc. I certainly wouldn't be worried. It does feel a little like you're looking for something to worry about, digging up these half-remembered minor incidents from the distant past or assuming other people don't do odd things when they're bored and their mind wanders. It's tempting now that so many people are declaring their non-NT behaviours to hunt for your own, but honestly if you had issues at any level, you'd very likely know about them. So no need to worry. All is good.

Honestly op you just sound a little obsessional.

Do you have health anxiety in general? Do you obsess over miles or freckles or get easily cracked out by headaches or bellyaches etc?

Not liking to be woken up by loud noises - perfectly normal
Finding loud mouth breathing annoying when you're trying to sleep - perfectly rational
Sense of smell - as you've said, so does DH so again not a worry
Twirling your hair, playing with it - very average stress or boredom activity
Eye lash thing - not great but fairly common stress response
Poor spatial awareness (not being able to visualise the route etc) - def weaker in women in general but quite normal for people to have different strengths
Number plate thing - we all do odd things when we're bored or not focusing

Constantly researching perfectly ordinary things to see what's wrong with you - much more concerning. If you're going to focus on anything, I'd start with anxiety and stress

I mean how many people do you know who maybe out of boredom look at number plates, add the numbers up etc.

I do, if I'm on the bus I'll look at number plates and make up words and add the numbers. It's not unusual I wouldn't think.

It's difficult isn't it.

I think I'd quite like to be assessed for autism too. I score quite high on online tests, but don't do lots of 'typical' stuff. I'm not sure what, at my age, the benefit would be if getting a diagnosis (I'm 52)

I do lots of things with numbers. Not so much number plates as counting the letters in things I'm saying. I can't really explain.

Some things are definitely worse now, I'm not sure if that's menopause or what.

I'm very particular about how things are done, where things are put etc

I'm not as experienced with females with autism as I am with makes, so wouldn't like to say either way from what you've posted, but why not go and see a professional if a diagnosis is important to you, or just accept you're uniquely you!!

@Chikapu ahh interesting to know.

Everything you've described sounds completely normal apart from the picking out eyelashes, which if it becomes problematic could be a sign of trichotillomania.

Being frightened of loud noises as a child is normal, finding someone breathing heavily annoying/disruptive of sleep is normal too, as is not having great spatial awareness, enjoying and thriving at school and socially suggests you probably didn't have any other educational issues either (which most developmental disorders would cause).

You definitely do not have Autism and the even numbers thing is not an OCD compulsion (OCD is much more complex and highly distressing for the sufferer and to be diagnosed it has to affect someone's life significantly and usually involve intrusive thoughts).