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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to judge my neighbour for this

23 replies

Roses1221 · 09/01/2022 19:47

Photo of her three year old on social media and she’s asleep in her car seat (car clearly moving) and she isn’t strapped in properly… her arms aren’t in the harness, she’s only buckled in around her waist. This is the second time I’ve seen an image like this. I understand that when it comes to parenting, each to their own, but surely car safety and fastening a seatbelt correctly is just basic common sense or am I being judgemental??

OP posts:
Fallagain · 09/01/2022 19:51

Contact the police via their online form.

Bluntness100 · 09/01/2022 19:53

No op, you’re so right, contact the police immediately,,,

Oh wait,

StoneofDestiny · 09/01/2022 19:54

Why not have a word with her - she might not 'get it'

BewareTheBeardedDragon · 09/01/2022 19:57

What a very odd picture to choose to put on SM. How can you tell car is moving from a still image?

Rogue1001 · 09/01/2022 20:00

@BewareTheBeardedDragon

What a very odd picture to choose to put on SM. How can you tell car is moving from a still image?
I thought both those things too
Sometimeswinning · 09/01/2022 20:03

Comment then! Ahhh baby is not strapped in. Simple but effective. Worst case she blocks you. My friend told me this with my first dd. Her straps were not tight enough. I appreciated it personally.

Original poster
Roses1221 · 09/01/2022 20:24

@BewareTheBeardedDragon little one is fast asleep in the car, it’s captioned along the lines of ‘someone’s had a busy day…’

I can tell the car is moving as the view outside the window is all blurry Smile

OP posts:
Hospedia · 09/01/2022 20:27

Could the child have pulled her arms free? One of my DC was a bugger for this, no matter how tight the straps were he would houdini out of them, we got a velcro thingie supposedly designed to stop him getting free and he figured out how to remove it within ten minutes. The fun really began when he figured out how to unclipped the harness completely.

3scape · 09/01/2022 20:30

Ask "did she pull her arms out" then a scared emoji face then suggest one of those clips that stops them doing that.

Original poster
Roses1221 · 09/01/2022 20:32

@Hospedia I hadn’t even thought of that, could be the case!

OP posts:
Original poster
Roses1221 · 09/01/2022 20:33

@3scape great idea to raise it this way!

OP posts:
3WildOnes · 09/01/2022 20:35

Don’t say anything. My friends daughter is always pulling her arms free of the straps.

BewareTheBeardedDragon · 09/01/2022 22:42

My daughter used to pull her arms out. I sewed an extra clip on to the harness straps at chest level to prevent her. Car seats don't have this because they have to have single clip release for safety reasons but I figured that the risk of her never having her arms in was higher than that of having to unclip two clips in an emergency.

Hemingwayscatz · 09/01/2022 22:45

How did she get a photo of her sleeping in the back of the car if she was driving?

WorraLiberty · 09/01/2022 22:47

@Hemingwayscatz

How did she get a photo of her sleeping in the back of the car if she was driving?
The OP didn't say she was driving?
Theunamedcat · 09/01/2022 22:52

My son always yanked his arms out of his car seat once he managed to get out completely he popped up in between the front seat saying "it's meeee!" "I gotted out" I literally was negotiating a nasty junction and nearly crashed the fucking car how I didn't pee my pants I will never know

So yeah sometimes kids do shit

Pbbananabagel · 09/01/2022 23:03

.. you know portrait mode on an iPhone blurrs out the background of the image right? This can make it look like there’s movement when there isn’t.

Mrstamborineman · 09/01/2022 23:09

It’s not great but have you ever been driving along and tried to persuade a child to put arms back through the seat arm straps whilst you drive Confused

feeona123 · 09/01/2022 23:11

My son never kept his arms in either! Was a relief when he moved up to the next seat!

Thatsplentyjack · 09/01/2022 23:13

Well of she was taking pictures she could have reached into the back and put the child's straps back on. Surely if your child pulls their arms out the straps you stop in the first available place and put their arms back in, not put pictures of it all over social media?

Hospedia · 09/01/2022 23:16

My son always yanked his arms out of his car seat once he managed to get out completely he popped up in between the front seat saying "it's meeee!" "I gotted out" I literally was negotiating a nasty junction and nearly crashed the fucking car how I didn't pee my pants I will never know

A lot like my son! Driving on the dual carriageway, going the speed limit, and I spied something out of the corner of my eye and glanced down/to the side to see 2yo DS with an arm and leg through the gap between the seats casually clambouring into the fucking passenger seat. I nearly shit a brick and had to continue on to the nearest exit with him completely unrestrained in the passenger seat, hands and face pressed up against the window with me barking at him to "sit down!".

Beseen22 · 09/01/2022 23:33

@hospedia are you my DH?? I have to sit in the back with my youngest to keep him safe who becomes jelly and wiggles his arms out no matter how tight they are and has taught himself how to unclip the harness. Age 1. Just like 3 years to go until we move to seatbelt style.

Hospedia · 10/01/2022 00:15

One afternoon he managed to undo the entire car seat, I don't know how he got his hands into base and behind it, but rhe first moment I realised it wasn't secured was when I went around a roundabout and heard a weird slide-thud noise from the backseat. I looked in the rear view and there's the car seat on its side, DS still strapped into it and looked at me with an expression on his face like "wtf just happened?". Exited the roundabout and slide-thud again, found a safe place to pull over and thud again as we stopped and he rattled around some more.

He also had form for using his foot to turn the window winder and get his window open as wide as it would go and would then throw out his shoes, his socks, and anything else he could get hold of.

I'm banking on him being an easy teenager because he put me through so much stress as a toddler. If it's any consolation @Beseen22 he's a stickler for the rules nowadays, loves a seat belt, and will loudly tell off other drivers for the smallest of errors (with his window down, natch).

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