To hate the weekends

[Whitebluepurple]

I have got to a stage where due to our circumstances I hate the weekend arriving. We have two kids and live on a military base in a remote ish part of England.

We have no friends here, no family anywhere nearby and I really struggle with what to do at weekends. in the week we both work (DH in the army, I wfh permanently) and kids in nursery.

I’m so lonely it’s embarrassing. Neighbours on both side are friendly but without young kids and have politely rejected our invites for drinks/BBQs etc. I have one brother but he lives in Scotland and we’re not close. Other friendships have drifted from our time in the military moving a lot inc a stint overseas

We’ve exhausted the very limited local attractions and don’t want to take a 4&3 year old to the shops in the nearest town. Soft play is closed and there’s nothing else to do.

Just feel like crying every Saturday morning with 48 hours stretching out in front of us again. Would kill to pop round to a friends/relatives for a cuppa

Is there no HIVE or naafi on base?

Yes to HIVE but they have nothing running at the moment due to covid. The only thing they had running was a monthly coffee morning I attended (it was just me and the person running it!) and nothing for kids etc

The Naafi is a shop?

Sorry meant to finish but distracted by shrieking dc!
Any posters or message boards up in the naafi saying if anything is on, or somewhere you could put one up to suggest something?

Can you make invite some of their nursery friends over? Gives you an opportunity to make friends with the parents?

I have tried with nursery mums but I can’t seem to break through from pleasantries and smiles to chatting, making a connection and actually making plans? Everyone seems to drop off and then rush off to work (me included) and then the same for pick up to get home

I think it’s probably me not trying hard enough to be friendly/swap numbers/etc.

it’s hard

It's really, really hard, and you're totally allowed to feel this way. Could you try Peanut or one of the other mum friend making apps?

Could you ask the nursery to pass your number on to other parents? Say in the way party invites go out in the bag? So you're not asking for them to share others info, but offering yours?

Also a military family. We do not live on a base but closer to family so dh away a lot, they have their own lives and we don't see them very often. Part of me regret staying close to family but then I don't think I'm suited to being around other military families either. Our kids (we have 6) are reluctant to go out on weekends snd really enjoy lazy days at home and tbh so do I after the stress of weekly life. I enjoy outdoorsy type stuff when we do go out, National trust membership is good for this if you're willing to travel to go to multiple ones.

I'm not a social creature. Must be hard if you need that and wfh, I would be looking to change that as that give the opportunity to find friends.

What rough area are you in? I'm a pro at locating things to do with little kids in mind, after 8 years of living in similar circumstances to yours and having 2 energetic kids to occupy. I second national trust- they usually have play parks and interesting areas to explore. Any leisure centres with swimming or running hobbies like tiddlekicks or karate? I find having even an hour of planned activity in a day gives a focus and can always be stretched out to a cafe/library visit etc. And that's usually enough to tire out the kids a bit. And can you take turns breaking up the time so you get a few hours off then your husband? That has been a godsend for us.