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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

to think that a perfectly harmless and hilarious thread shouldn't be deleted

159 replies

SeeMyLanyardAndWeepBitch · 08/01/2022 08:06

Just because the poster is new and on (what we suspect might be) a bit of a wind up? I mean what actual rules are broken and what harm done?

PLEASE DON'T DELETE THIS THREAD FOR BEING A TAT. I am referencing a previous deleted thread, but my point is less about that thread and more about the prevailing culture on here these days concerning what is considered off limits.

The thread I have in mind wasn't offensive, just daft. A spoof. No person with a protected characteristic (or humble but doughty shop worker) was offended, harmed or triggered in the making of said thread.

Are spoofs and very obvious tongue in cheek wind ups no longer to be tolerated on MN?

This place has changed. Sad It used to be fun. We could all take a joke once. What has happened?

YANBU: This place has changed. Way too serious now.

YABU: I am a sanctimonious Guardian reading arse who sees no humour in anything.

OP posts:
CaptainNancy · 08/01/2022 17:43

@DappledThings Oh thank you for that link! It was lovely re-reading that.
I might crack open Winter Holiday this evening Wine

JuergenSchwarzwald · 08/01/2022 17:51

@shrunkenhead

Hard to say as I didn't read the deleted thread! I do find that MN seems to delete any thread I'm remotely interested in. And the message "we've taken this down while we look into things" comment is annoying as they never return the thread after they've "looked into it"! I'd prefer a better explanation too as to why threads are deleted, rather than the lazy general breaking MN guidelines excuse.
Totally agree with this. And why delete - why not just lock it (not sure if that is even possible though).
JuergenSchwarzwald · 08/01/2022 17:52

In fact MN could edit the title to say "warning - this may be a troll" but leave it up.

ilovesooty · 08/01/2022 17:55

[quote bagheaven]@ilovesooty just because someone reports something it doesn't mean it should be taken down though. MN should assess the situation and not get overly sensitive at topics that 'may cause offence' because the person isn't talking about something light hearted [/quote]
Yes I see that, but what I meant was that unless posters do report MNHQ often won't realise there's anything to assess.

FangsForTheMemory · 08/01/2022 17:57

YABU: I read the Guardian but I'm neither sanctimonious nor an arse (although I HAVE an arse and very large it is too).

Maybe you shouldn't stereotype people?

HTH.

Propagandalf · 08/01/2022 18:09

A few days ago, there was a thread called "To be bloody glad I don't live in the US?"

Another thread popped up "To be bloody glad I don't live in the UK?"

They were discussing the negatives of those 2 countries.

I then made a parody thread called "To be bloody glad I don't live in the North Korea?"

All 3 threads got deleted, citing "MNHQ deleted this thread because it was a TAAT."

I think people need to chill sometimes.

YANBU OP!

bagheaven · 08/01/2022 18:32

@wankywomble

Totally agree! And those who say 'reported'. The stuff about 'looking into it' is a load of rubbish too. I have had a thread delete that was genuine and no one contacted me when actually I wanted them to explain and defend my position. At times it feels like MN is complicit in silencing women
Totally agree @wthey also seem to masters in the art of silencing discussion around race too.

Very angry that a thread once got taken down about speaking up when racism had been witnessed by the OP in a social situation. How a thread like that could have been deleted was very disappointing

afizzysweet · 08/01/2022 18:35

I am gutted that the bohpeemian rhapsody thread from a few days ago was taken down

DappledThings · 08/01/2022 20:52

[quote CaptainNancy]@DappledThings Oh thank you for that link! It was lovely re-reading that.
I might crack open Winter Holiday this evening Wine[/quote]
Winter Holiday is my favourite. I really wanted to name my daughter Dorothea after Dorothea Callum but DH found it too fussy.

daisychain01 · 08/01/2022 21:10

When I am being charitable I thin that it must be escapism- they must be stick in a crap life and want to escape. When I am being uncharitable I want to scream at the people being sucked in.

Blush I think I may have been one of the people you were screaming at. That was one v. elaborate story. I can understand how it could be 'wishful thinking' by the sounds of the back story. I do hope they made it to safety somehow.

Seeleyboo · 08/01/2022 21:21

I think i know the thread OP. Was it concerning calpol. If so it was hilarious and obviously for fun.

SeeMyLanyardAndWeepBitch · 09/01/2022 06:55

Yes it was the Brats thread.

For anyone who didn't see it, a brief synopsis:

OP was indignant that office workers and sixth formers from a 'nice leafy suburb' were wearing their ID/access lanyards into a local convenience store.

She felt they were 'lording it' over the shop staff and flaunting their privilege by showing that they either had a (better) office based job or were still in education at 18 - an opportunity she feels has been denied to most shop workers . She called it 'grossly insensitive' or something.

She had a lanyard herself but wouldn't dream of wearing it in front of retail staff out of 'utter respect' for them. Confused

Bonkers as conkers. Confused And incredibly patronising.

I have no idea whether it was a genuine OP from a person with a very weird outlook on life, or whether it was made up bollocks done purely to wind everyone up. I suspect the second. But then I suspect 50% of the threads that make it into 'active' are based on lies or contentious opinions to some degree or another.

I'm not saying it was the most hilarious OP in the world, although it was amusing in a bizarre, WTAF? kind of way. But it had the potential to be a very funny thread had it been allowed to continue.

Either way, it was doing no harm and it sparked some interesting responses - not least an opportunity to challenge the outdated preconception that people in hospitality or retail don't have much in the way of qualifications. Many of them are graduates these days (which is another discussion altogether) but a worthwhile discussion could have come from that.

Anyway, my point is that MNHQ seem to have become frightened to let anything stand if someone decides they want it removed, sometimes for the most spurious reasons, or if there is even the teeniest possibility that someone might decide it's offensive.

There are obviously quite a few snitchy little teacher's pet types who love the thrill of spotting something 'off' and reporting it, just so they can say 'I knew it' and get a smug little glow for the rest of the day when it's deleted.

Nasty, highly offensive trolling, fantasists posting about ficticious tragedies etc, then yes of course, report it. But we've reached a point where just having a weird or obnoxious opinion makes a thread worthy of deletion and it's got to the point where some days I have as many deleted threads in my 'Threads You Are On' list than undeleted ones.

In ye olden days of MN barely any of them would have warranted a deletion and it was common to be refused a deletion of your own thread unless your life was literally in danger over it.

People knew they had to take responsibility for what came out of their mouths. If you asked 'AIBU?' and were unanimously YABVVU, then you had to suck it up and learn from it, not run to teacher complaining about the mean girls. And the thread stood as a lesson to others who might want to pull the same sort of shit.

These days it's all 'not in the spirit.' Hmm

As an example of how much MN has changed, a quick look in Classics and you find a post 'I pooed on my skirt at work today. I am not the poo troll.' and then a lengthy description of the poo accident followed by pages and pages of poo/period accident stories.

Today that wouldn't make a full page of posts before it went, let alone get into classics.

There is another thread from 2018 called 'Expats, tell me what aspect of your new country do you find strange?'

40 pages of expats talking in depth about the cultural norms of their adopted country (including the UK) that they find outdated, sexist, appalling, funny or plain weird. And not one deletion as far as I can tell. Could you even imagine that now? That thread would be reported to fuck for racism and xenophobia. The risk of leaving some of the comments in place for someone to possibly become outraged over is just unthinkable today.

The Yoni massage would not have made the cut.

Neither would 'I'm looking for a governess. May I look here?'

That one properly took the piss out of what I think was a genuine OP. Brutal but funny. These days that would be considered 'not in the spirit. our job is to make parents' lives easier blah blah.'

And this one? No chance. Instant deletion.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1055369-LOOK-READ

Yet there is barely a day goes by when I don't read something in Relationships and AIBU and think 'that didn't really happen though, did it?' But because the OP is telling some tale of woe it's left to run and we have to give the OP the benefit of the doubt even when most of us think it's horseshit.

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 09/01/2022 08:30

You sound a bit over- invested OP. There is life beyond MN you know (shock horror!)

SeeMyLanyardAndWeepBitch · 09/01/2022 08:38

useful, thanks.

Actually, due to the way MN has changed in recent years I am far, far less invested than I used to be.

OP posts:
Lockheart · 09/01/2022 09:08

@SeeMyLanyardAndWeepBitch

useful, thanks.

Actually, due to the way MN has changed in recent years I am far, far less invested than I used to be.

You don't sound it from that lengthy post above, to be honest.

As with most things it's their sandbox, their rules. If you don't like it no-one is keeping you here and other forums are available. Why wind yourself up?

LittleBearPad · 09/01/2022 10:00

I’m not sure the OP is wound up. MN has changed and some aspects of what made it fun, lost.

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 09/01/2022 10:05

MN stopped being funny in the same time period trigger warnings started being attached to everything even remotely off and when people started putting "lighthearted" in their OPs.

bantuknots · 09/01/2022 10:18

@SeeMyLanyardAndWeepBitch

I know there are many trolls on MN but to me, trolling means to do harm, to genuinely offend/incite/insult, or to deliberately get sympathy by telling awful lies, to suck people in emotionally and support what they think is an OP in genuine crisis.

If a thread is sufficiently outlandish so as to make you think WTF? This can't be real?' but it does NO actual harm, then what does it matter whether it's a troll or a spoof or a genuine poster just being a bit weird?

Do we need to be infantalised and micromanaged over everything we read, instead of being allowed to take a thread with a pinch of salt as we see fit?

I agree with this. Sometimes I read a thread and think 'haha no way this is real.' Further comments make me laugh too and the thread is in no way harmless.

Sometimes I think MNHQ just delete a thread when one too many people are saying 'this is a troll' 'troll' etc and are obviously troll hunting which is against the rules. When there's too many comments to delete they must just think eff it this thread is going🤣 but not because of the post itself, more so the comments.

To the people who commet saying 'troll,' what's the point? Like honestly what's the point. If you know it's a troll and don't find it funny why not click off the post or report it. Why people feel the need to comment it is beyond me

Sparklingbrook · 09/01/2022 10:22

In the same way that if a TV show you really loved you suddenly didn’t like the storyline or they introduced new characters you didn’t like you’d just stop watching.
If the moderation or the way MNHQ ran the site was suddenly not to your liking you could just stop using it?

SeeMyLanyardAndWeepBitch · 09/01/2022 10:44

@ChardonnaysPetDragon

MN stopped being funny in the same time period trigger warnings started being attached to everything even remotely off and when people started putting "lighthearted" in their OPs.
So true.
OP posts:
longwayoff · 09/01/2022 10:46

Get a grip people. I had a response deleted due to the moderator's opinion that it had 'a passive aggressive tone'. I half expected it to be followed by a notice that I would serve detention after class, miss games and have a note sent home to my mum. But they let me off any follow up. I've been a good girl ever since Smile

ODFOx · 09/01/2022 10:48

If troll threads were never allowed to stay we would have missed the classic 'My yoni says Noni!' which makes me laugh years later.

Sparklingbrook · 09/01/2022 10:51

Years ago I got a post deleted for being ‘sarcastic’ 😂

longwayoff · 09/01/2022 10:58

I feel your pain sparklingbrook. We women can be far too lippy for our own good. Tut.

Sparklingbrook · 09/01/2022 11:06

@longwayoff

I feel your pain sparklingbrook. We women can be far too lippy for our own good. Tut.
Grin Apparently saying ‘you must be very proud’ but not putting an emoji at the end is not on when someone is boasting about how feral their kids are.
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